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How to simultaneously waste $9.75 AND look like a total romo.

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    How to simultaneously waste $9.75 AND look like a total romo.

    Go see "The Phantom of the Opera," the film.

    I know this may sound strange to some of you, but if ever the occasion arises that you put down your sticky manga books, pause your DOA game, or rewind your worn-out "Original Dirty Pair" tape, you may catch sight of a living, breathing woman. And if you should desire to have the intercourse with her, you may have to confuse her into believing you a caring and sensitive mate.

    The first step in this process is to buy her dinner at a restaurant where sodas do not come with free refills. The second is to take her to a film of her liking. On this particular evening, my female companion's choice was the recent film adaptation of "The Phantom of the Opera." No, not the creepy horror version starring a ghoulish Lon Chaney. I mean the film adaptation of the wretched stage musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber.

    First, I am told that the musical was intended to be a "rock opera." I can assure you that the film was neither very operatic, nor did it rock. I remember seeing and enjoying the play when I was 13, and apparently a cross-dressing homosexual.

    This film was repugnant. Save for some good moments by Minnie Driver and the kind-of sexy Emmy Rossum, the acting was atrocious. The film was set in late 19th-century Paris, but only one actress found it appropriate to speak with a French accent. The rest were split on speaking with American or British accents, with some settling on some garish mutation of the two.

    It was everything you had to expect from a musical; your basic bursts into song at random moments for no good reason. The music was bland and most of the songs sounded the same, clearly evidenced by a scene in the Phantom's lair where the Phantom is singing "Music of the Night," Christine is doing "Angel of Music" and Raoul is belting out "Think of Me," all simultaneously, yet they blend perfectly. Genius of arrangement? Hardly.

    The story is primarily set in an Opera house, where several songs are performed, but Webber couldn't write an opera song to save his life.

    Also to be found in this film, a group dance sequence with moves seemingly stolen from both Madonna's "Vogue" video and the hip-hop classic film "Breakin'," neither of with are to be found in 19th century Paris.

    If you were a fan of the play, you'll probably like the movie, though the actors are singing their own songs and probably not up to snuff with Broadway-caliber singers. The most interesting part was seeing how the story developed without the limitations of stage and what the director was able to do with his freedom. I would have liked to see Baz Luhrman tackle this and embrace the cheese for what it is.

    All in all, I would have rather spent the 3 hours plucking out my nipple hairs. It would have been more productive, cheaper, and less painful.

    And to answer your question, yes. Three times.
    Last edited by Ka-Bar; 1/08/2005 4:12am, .

    Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls

    #2
    The real question is...what the crap were you doing at a musical play when you were 13?

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by I Choke You
      The real question is...what the crap were you doing at a musical play when you were 13?
      I told you, I was a cross-dressing homosexual back then.

      Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls

      Comment


        #4
        I figured that part had more to do with you enjoying it.

        Comment


          #5
          Well you only spent 9.75 you got off cheap for a date in Silicon Valley.
          She could of asked for a Soda.
          "Its not important to be strong, its just important not to be weak."

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by antman
            Well you only spent 9.75 you got off cheap for a date in Silicon Valley.
            She could of asked for a Soda.
            Oh, I bought dinner too, I just didn't consider it a waste.

            Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls

            Comment


              #7
              Have you seen the musical recently/ would you/did you enjoy it if you did?
              And that's when I figured out that tears couldn't make somebody who was dead alive again. There's another thing to learn about tears, they can't make somebody who doesn't love you any more love you again. It's the same with prayers. I wonder how much of their lives people waste crying and praying to God. If you ask me, the devil makes more sense than God does. I can at least see why people would want him around. It's good to have somebody to blame for the bad stuff they do. Maybe God's there because people get scared of all the bad stuff they do. They figure that God and the Devil are always playing this game of tug-of-war game with them. And they never know which side they're gonna wind up on. I guess that tug-of-war idea explains how sometimes, even when people try to do something good, it still turns out bad.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by greese1
                Have you seen the musical recently/ would you/did you enjoy it if you did?
                No, I saw it once when I was 13. Then I saw "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "Starlight Express" both when I was 15. I really liked "JCS," and thought "Starlight Express" was okay.

                Last musicals I went to were "South Pacific" and "Aida" about 3 years ago when I was dating a theatre major. Kinda liked "Aida," didn't care for "South Pacific." I don't think I'd like "Phantom" if I saw it now.

                Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls

                Comment


                  #9
                  Last edited by The Wastrel; 1/08/2005 10:48am, .
                  Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the fuck I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Yowzers!!

                    Ka-Bar, you DESERVED to get laid after putting up with that.

                    Good on ya!
                    "Onward we stagger, and if the tanks come, may God help the tanks." - Col. William O. Darby

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Ka-Bar, how was "Cats"?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        If you see something advertised as a "rock opera" and it wasn't written by The Who....it's not. Period.
                        sudo make me a sandwich!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I really dislike plays in general. I'd rather see a symphony play, or go to an Opera. PotO blows. It always has. Take your date next time to see "Rigoletto."

                          "His name is sin, and mine is retribution." Best line in the whole Opera.
                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGXiN-_BCts

                          Numa ^ 3

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Ka-Bar
                            Go see "The Phantom of the Opera," the film.

                            I know this may sound strange to some of you, but if ever the occasion arises that you put down your sticky manga books, pause your DOA game, or rewind your worn-out "Original Dirty Pair" tape, you may catch sight of a living, breathing woman.

                            Wait, you lost me there.

                            I hate plays period. I saw Prince and the Pauper and some other piece of garbage I don't remember. They both sucked and WEREN'T musical. Alice in Chains doesn't make kids commit school shootings, it's musicals and plays.

                            PL

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Reese
                              Ka-Bar, how was "Cats"?
                              Never saw it, seeing as I never had the opportunity and I'm allergic.

                              Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls

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