Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Got my revenge

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Got my revenge

    Caution: this story isn't for the weak or faint of heart.


    No shit fellas, there I was,

    Flash back to June of 2002. My cousin and his shitbag buddies were throwing a huge-ass keg party in the woods near a local reservoir and my mission for the night was to get drunk off JD and pass the fuck out in the woodline. About a quarter-way on the path to oblivion, I spot this damn fine looking honey showing up(no, my beer goggles were not in effect yet). So with my boyish charm and good looks, AKA liquid courage, I introduce myself to her and we start getting friendly. Of course friendliness soon turns to us bailing and proceeding to fool around at my place. Out-fucking-standing, right? NO. Back at my place, in my semi-obliviated state, I violate one of my golden rules, I go down vigorously on this girl I just met. So I wake up the next morning and my throat feels all fucked up. I go to the doctor's on Monday to get it checked. He gets out his little flashlight and tells me I might have the FUCKING CLAPP IN MY THROAT. Holy shit, I wanted to die. Fortunatley they gave me some meds and it cleared up.

    This whole incident went to the magical land of "this never happened" and even though she gave me her number, I never called her. A close friend of mine has never, ever let me live down the "clap incident". You know, in one of those asshole buddy things?

    So, fast forward to this past weekend

    After working out on Saturday, me and the same friend decided to frequent a local strip club where another one of my buddies works as a bartender. The place has a reputation for dudes being able to get more than a lapdance from the dancers in the back room, if the price is right. So my friend sees something on the menu he likes and despite my warnings, decides to go and have a dance with her in the VIP area. My current girl is very good to me, so I decided not to get in on any skank ho action and proceeded to drink my way to oblivion via Johnny Walker Black Label and Jim Beam. Of course a while later he comes out with a shit-eatin' grin just as big as John Wayne's.

    The next day we meet up for a little Kali practice at the local state forest. I notice his eye is all fucked up and inflamed and suggest that he get it checked out promptly. Well, he got it checked out today and there was a FUCKING CROTCH CRITTER in his eye. That's right boys, a fucking crab in the eye.

    Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
    "We spoke to them in the only language they understood: the machine gun"

    #2
    Karma's a got-damn cross-dressing whore, she is.

    Comment


      #3
      http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
      MY NAME IS ANTAGONY I SUCK AT COMBAT SPORTS KTHX

      "blahblahblah, but I don't think I'm going to train tonight."
      "Fag."
      "Well if that were true, then I'd really REALLY want to come train!"

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Antagony
        http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
        AA is for quitters, dude. I'm a drunk.
        "We spoke to them in the only language they understood: the machine gun"

        Comment


          #5
          wait what the fuck, what is a clap in the throut.... like a what the fuck!
          Once a fighter, Always a fighter. Shawn
          -Styles i train in-
          Judo
          Bjj
          Mtkickboxing
          Western boxing
          Wrestling

          Comment


            #6
            stay away from me.
            Attached Files

            Comment


              #7
              "I go down vigorously on this girl "

              That has really gotten me thinking for a couple days now, I developed a pretty bad cough, like I was coughing up blood two nights.... The only way I could have gotten sick was from someone else in res passing some germs to me, or...something like that. DAmn.....not that I think about it, I really really think the dates are related...Fuck...

              Well, she started washing up better and I eventually got better, which is good because I love giving oral to women...




              "Well, he got it checked out today and there was a FUCKING CROTCH CRITTER in his eye. That's right boys, a fucking crab in the eye."
              How the fuck did he get it in HIS EYE?!?!?
              Don't tell me he went down on her? WTFH?
              Surfing Facebook at work? Spread the good word by adding us on Facebook today! https://www.facebook.com/Bullshido

              https://www.instagram.com/bullshido/

              Comment


                #8
                I never go muff diving on a first date. Except a couple of times, when I had the opportunity to do so.
                That civilisation may not sink,
                Its great battle lost,
                Quiet the dog, tether the pony
                To a distant post;
                Our master Caesar is in the tent
                Where the maps are spread,
                His eyes fixed upon nothing,
                A hand under his head.


                - W.B. Yeats

                Comment


                  #9
                  ^LOL WCL
                  "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                  YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                  "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                  "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I know a dude who did the same thing cept he ended up with herpes! Ugh and its for life.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      shit like that makes me glad i'm married.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm really scared now. :(
                        Surfing Facebook at work? Spread the good word by adding us on Facebook today! https://www.facebook.com/Bullshido

                        https://www.instagram.com/bullshido/

                        Comment


                          #13
                          CLAP IN THE THROAT!? CRAB IN THE EYE!!?!? What are you trying to do to me!?
                          "Prison is for rapists, thieves and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, you're the fucking criminal." - Joe Rogan

                          El Guapo says dance!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What's next, Chlamydia of the nasal cavity? :eek:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Be afraid pizd, be very afraid.

                              Comment

                              Collapse

                              Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                              Working...
                              X