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5 Things You Didn't Know: Dan Severn

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    5 Things You Didn't Know: Dan Severn

    Five things you didn't know about Dan Severn.

    1) He considers himself the UFC's first and only "Triple Crown Champion." That means he won the UFC 5 tournament, the Ultimate Ultimate, and the Superfight belt. No other fighter has been able to duplicate that feat in the twenty years since his reign (Probably because none of those titles fucking exist nowadays).

    2) During his tenure with the WWF, Vince McMahon actually wanted to take advantage of his "Beast" moniker by printing 666 on his forehead and making him a part of Undertaker's Ministry of Darkness.

    3) Former resident Bully and Judoka MTripp actually trained Severn for UFC 5, resulting in the Beast amazingly finishing every single one of his opponents and allowing the event to conclude in a timely fashion for once.

    4) Severn's only submission grappling experience prior to his UFC tenure was a lone SAMBO tournament he decided to do on a whim without training. He won the event with wrestling alone.

    To my knowledge, he wouldn't compete in any other pure submission grappling events until 2014:



    5) With no means of proper training immediately available to him, Severn relied on help from pro wrestlers like Al Snow to prepare him for his UFC 4 debut. Snow and others would lace up a pair of boxing gloves and try to punch him while he worked takedowns and rudimentary submission holds he just pulled out of his ass.

    Honorable Mention:

    6) I've been writing erotic fan fiction about him for a solid decade now.
    Dan Severn loves raping people.

    #2
    Originally posted by Holy Moment View Post
    I've been writing erotic fan fiction about him for a solid decade now.
    Fiction???? I've been reading this as a documentary. A person just never knows what to believe anymore.
    I thought I spelled it wrong, but as I said I'm a mechanic not an English professor.

    Comment


      #3
      7) Ring announcer Rich Goins was forced to part ways with the UFC after contracting scabies from Dan Severn following sexual intercourse.

      Did you write this?
      Train hard, fight easy.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Cake of Doom View Post
        7) Ring announcer Rich Goins was forced to part ways with the UFC after contracting scabies from Dan Severn following sexual intercourse.

        Did you write this?
        Does the Pope Street in the woods?
        Dan Severn loves raping people.

        Comment


          #5
          Moar facks:

          7) When the WWF started threatening to have him job in matches (Due to his unwillingness to do the 666 bit), Severn countered by saying he'd start shooting on other wrestlers if they ever told him to lose. His plan was to legitimately beat the shit out of his opponents during the Royal Rumble and then go over to WCW, where this stunt would hopefully propel him to stardom. This plot never came to fruition.

          Personally, if I was Vince in that case, I would've just sent out Ken Shamrock, Steve Blackman, and the Big Show to drag his ass out of the ring and go to town on his testicles right there in front of the crowd. As good as Severn is, he can't rape three dudes at once (... Or can he?).

          8) Before UFC 9, the state of Michigan mandated that close-fisted punches to the head be banned for the event. The promoters of the show circumvented this limitation by telling the fighters to just punch anyway while Big John repeatedly shouted "That's illegal." Everyone on the card was down for this ruse except Ken Shamrock, who was afraid of being arrested (Like the fighters from the recent Extreme Fighting 2 event had been) and just decided to go at it Pancrase style. Severn, catching wind of his adversary's moral dilemma, decided to fuck with him by wearing a pair of gloves into the cage like he was going to punch.

          This psychological ploy evidently helped keep Slamcock at bay, but because Severn himself doesn't actually know how to box, neither fighter exhibited anything resembling offense for 99% of the bout.
          Dan Severn loves raping people.

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            #6
            Well this thread and that link were very entertaining, cheers.
            lol
            sigpic

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              #7
              That pro grappling bout is a good find. Had no idea Severn had done that.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by bobyclumsyninja View Post
                Well this thread and that link were very entertaining, cheers.

                lol
                For your health:

                Dan Severn loves raping people.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Mr. Machette
                  Lift a lot of weights and sexually assault anyone who tries step to you. Flip the script. Watch that fight turn to flight when you go for penetration.
                  Originally posted by Raycetpfl
                  Just for future reference dude..... when you are doing it right you don't soil your under-roos when you nail chicks.

                  Comment


                    #10
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