Steven Seagal trains armed Posse to protect schools

[madmonkey]

http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/steven-se...120405605.html

I only wish this was less believable than one of his movies plots or his CIA claims
Just what every school needs an armed group of civilians (possibly with assault rifles) trained by Seagal, near young children in a school.

[Permalost]

Steven Seagal takes on an armed lunatic:
-step 1: engage the perp in ethnic slang so that he mistakes you for one of his own.

-blindside him with an acoustic number from Songs from the Crystal Cave

-make sure in your victory speech, you reference training Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva

[Vieux Normand]

Who better for target practice?

[madmonkey]

Stephen Seagal vs ARMED LUNATIC

first Consider tactical options
a-Use the deadly front kick (Shit belly gets in the way of the leg!)
b-Harmonize with your opponent and inform him he is a reincarnated tulku (Shit he's not buddhist)
c-Contact your CIA mates (Shit thats in your imagination)
d-Copy Aikido O sensei and disappear in all the smoke created by the pistol(Shit modern fierearms don't work that way)
e-Help the lunatic find inner peace with your personality changing music (Shit it causes homicidal rage not inner peace)
f-Challenge him that you are unchokeable (Shit Gene Lebell already disproved this one and made you go to the bathroom at the same time)

second realise you have no tactical options that don't involve crapping your pants
Get shot in the belly but survive due to its vastness and padding despite crapping your pants

[slamdunc]

Who better for target practice?

When someone that round is in your 'fatal funnel', you are almost guaranteed a hit. On the other hand, I wouldn't want him shooting at me LOL.

[Permalost]

In irony news, a crazed gunman is taken down after failing to hit the broad side of a barn.

The barn was unavailable for questioning, but witnesses say it groped an upcoming starlet and made a group of jazz men frown before getting kicked out of an all you can eat buffet.

[DerAuslander]

Fucking Mystical Fatman...

[judoist]

Heh. School massacre in T-minus 3... 2... 1...

[slamdunc]

Sounds like a vagina euphomism

Sorry, I should have illustrated LOL.


It does kind of have that 'V' thing going for it. You may be onto something.

I imagine one could hide quite a number of 6 year olds behind SS's belly

If he teaches the posse his culinary and eating techniques, the entire class would be able to find cover.

[HashMajin]

I have the perfect name for Steven Seagal's school defending militia. Steven's Seagulls. They all must train hard to match the master's inscrutable expression of inscrutability.......and questionable neck rubs.