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My Idoit Brother

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    My Idoit Brother

    I should make a movie...

    A little background specific to this story before I tell the story...

    Though it won't sound like it, he only drinks a couple times per year.

    He lives 4 blocks from the bar in a very small town. Up 1, turn right, turn left, turn right bar. 2 DUIs, plus a third one a few years ago when he lived he lived 5 blocks from the bar.

    Okay, he finally learned his lesson on that, and decided to walk to and from. 2 public intox. The last one was also an indecency charge. He had to piss, so on the way home, which he took the long way around to avoid the cops who poach the bars because there really is no use for a city police force in a town this small, he detours into the first yard he sees where the house is far from the front lawn. The owner happened to be home, notice the security lights come on, and step onto the porch. The owner also happened to be the mayor of the town. Him being him, just stepped out from behind the tree, cock in hand, still pissing, and tried to make conversation. Being the mayors house, cops were at the driveway pretty much before he even stopped pissing.

    His only defense in court that time was that he didn't realize that was the mayors house, and he didn't even know the mayor was a woman. He ended up with house arrest, which he got off of about a week ago-ish, even though he violated it about 2 weeks ago.

    Now for the main event.... First day off house arrest, he goes to the bar "for about an hour" around 9 pm. Around 4 am, my sister-in-law calls me to ask me to go look for him. She tells me where she thinks he might have gone and who he was with, so I instead go straight to the jail and discover he was booked for public intox.

    His story is some guys from back in the day, won't say who over the phone cause they may be listening, took him by gun point into their car, told him he owed them, won't say what, threatened the family, pistol whipped him, and threw him from the car. His plan after that was to get himself arrested so they would leave his family alone with him in jail.

    What really happened, he got drunk with a friend of ours who always makes a scene when he's drinking and always does something extra stupid, at the bar, while it was showing a UFC event, in town where a large percent of the male population claims to be a fighter, when the bar population is 40:1 male to female, with the 1 female being the bartender.

    Details around this point are a little sketchy, all thats for certain is he got jumped and kicked out of the bar/blackballed via phone call and couldn't get into a another one that night. A cop found him passed out under a street sign and took him in.

    This resulted in my sister-in-law and their two kids staying with me for a little over a week, including is girl from another chick for a few days(who I love dearly), and his son with my psychotic ex for a few days(who I want to choke slam through a flaming table into thumb tacs every time I even hear his name). He did survive, but he won't ever be the same again. A whole nother story...

    In court, he stuck to his story, and got put back on house arrest. I wish I had a vid to post, when he got on the marker board drawing his diagrams and ranting about thugs I almost pissed myself laughing. The judge ordered me to quiet down or I'd be removed.



    All I need to do is come up with not so similar title for the movie so I don't get sued.
    Last edited by Super8astard; 11/13/2011 12:47am, .

    #2
    Not to be indelicate but your brother seems to me more of the icing on an incredibly messed up cake.

    Comment


      #3
      You can choose your friends...

      He sounds pretty lucky to only be on house arrest

      Comment


        #4
        so what youre saying is you are the epitome of white trash? i got confused when you were talking about the various relatives you were living with/fucking.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Alex View Post
          so what youre saying is you are the epitome of white trash?

          Hold on a second there! There is no mention of him being white or otherwise in the story.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Yoj View Post
            Hold on a second there! There is no mention of him being white or otherwise in the story.
            You know, maybe I'm guilty of stereo-typical thinking here but all the way through that story I was thinking of a white 20 something guy with a mullett wearing a sleeveless check shirt and dirty jeans.

            Someone who I imagined would be at home in a shitty trailor park.

            But I could be wrong.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Rock Ape View Post
              You know, maybe I'm guilty of stereo-typical thinking here but all the way through that story I was thinking of a white 20 something guy with a mullett wearing a sleeveless check shirt and dirty jeans.

              Someone who I imagined would be at home in a shitty trailor park.

              But I could be wrong.
              I agree, that's my impression too, but that doesn't mean we should deny any other race or creed the right to also live in squalor and inbreed.

              Comment


                #8
                Agreed.

                I also imagine a shotgun or chrome plated 45 somewhere LOL

                Comment


                  #9
                  Still laughing at the title.
                  Carter Hargrave's Jeet Can't Do

                  http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=31636

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by hungryjoe View Post
                    Still laughing at the title.
                    I know, it's wonderful.

                    Really looking to be a bleak day for me, but then I read this and thought, "meh, it could be worse".

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by hungryjoe View Post
                      Still laughing at the title.
                      The laws of gentetics at work.
                      "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

                      Originally posted by strikistanian
                      DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
                      Originally posted by Devil
                      Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
                      Originally posted by Plasma
                      At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
                      Originally posted by SoulMechanic
                      Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Damn, this in combination with your thread about your ex...and that kid...turn them all in to Jerry Springer and collect the reward.
                        Originally posted by Snake Plissken
                        cuz FastPass on Indiana Jones was like being a ghetto rock star.
                        Originally posted by Kiko
                        But graffiti isn't a bowl of fruit...
                        Originally posted by Robstafarian
                        Merely insulting you is not an ad hominem fallacy: them calling you an idiot would be ad hominem if they said "You are an idiot, therefore your argument is invalid."

                        What is instead happening is thus:
                        1. Your argument is bullshit.
                        2. You keep repeating, and expanding upon, your argument.
                        3. Therefore, you are an idiot.

                        That isn't an ad hominem fallacy; that's inductive reasoning.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          1) The current movie title is "Our Idiot Brother" so you may be safe, especially misspelling "idiot" on purpose?

                          2) I am reminded of an Eric Cartman quote:
                          "Poor people tend to live in clusters."

                          3) I would think more highly of your brother if he had chosen - with knowledge - to piss at the mayor's house. All our elected politicians, like diapers, need to changed frequently - for the same reason.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by ermghoti View Post
                            The laws of gentetics at work.
                            Yes, indeed. All those RAD23a and RAD23b proteins must be working overtime tearing out unnecessary junk in that DNA.
                            http://woodwardswhiskey.wordpress.com/

                            He was punching him like the collective karmic debt he'd accrued was coming to collections, mostly on his face.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Rock Ape View Post
                              You know, maybe I'm guilty of stereo-typical thinking here but all the way through that story I was thinking of a white 20 something guy with a mullett wearing a sleeveless check shirt and dirty jeans.

                              Someone who I imagined would be at home in a shitty trailor park.

                              But I could be wrong.
                              I'm going to out on a limb and say he was DUI in a 1970's transam.
                              sigpic

                              When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

                              "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
                              "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti

                              Comment

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