Howzat!

[judoka_uk]

England demolish India at cricket.

England romped to victory by 319 runs today after the team demonstrated utter superiority with the bat, ball and in the field.

This follows on from M.S Dhoni's display of sportsmanship that meant that the Indian team were admitted to the clubhouse for tea.

The Daily Mash picks up the story.

ENGLAND have rewarded India's act of noble savagery by admitting them to the Trent Bridge bar to drink amongst gentlemen.

Mr Dhoni is a testament to English sportsmanship

Anyway chaps, I'm going to retire to the club house for tea and cucumber sandwiches, if you'll excuse a chap...

[Kovacs]

I still don't understand the rules of cricket but this pleases me.

[judoka_uk]

I still don't understand the rules of cricket but this pleases me.

No one understands the rules of cricket. Anyway I'm off to consult Wisden so I know a few key phrases to use to wind up Sanjeev at the local take away.

[Lindz]

you call soccer poofball but a sport that has tea breaks, no action for hours and takes a whole week to conclude holds your interest?

[judoka_uk]

Mate, people have died waiting for American football results, so you can jog on with that chat.

I have on more than one occasion fell asleep watching American football because I don't have 400 hours to waste on 2 minutes of action.

[Permalost]

Cool, something to talk about with the Indian coworkers at the water cooler.

[BKR]

Cheerio, old fruit, I'm off for tea and cream scones myself.

[Soldiermedic]

Is this like a story from the UK's equivalent of The Onion?

cause if so: http://www.theonion.com/articles/are...t-night,21042/

[battlefields]

"Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket."

"I'll teach you."

Honestly, even though I am true blue, dinky fuckin di, ocker as fuck Aussie (translation: Australian), AND part of the Commonwealth with Pommie roots, I can tell you right now that I cannot stand the game. I've tried to enjoy it, I've learnt how it works and that makes me hate it even more.

It's got to the point where I fuck with my countrymen. I'll walk in to a room in summer filled with Aussies watching the "game" and I'll ask, "who's winning?" Now, in any other sport, there will be an answer. In cricket, there isn't. In fact, it is considered a very chick question to ask and often there is groans and "WTF" faces thrown about. I love it because fuck cricket.

I admit that my world view is somewhat tainted by the fact that the people I know who watch cricket are the most boring people alive who drive Fords and suck on donkey penis for sustenance (*citation needed) and happily put the TV on at 10 in the morning and lay their fat cunt out on the couch and waste a Sunday "watching" cricket, drinking three beers and sleeping because their fat gut excludes them from doing anything else in life. I don't know if you notice, but the above is a description of one particular person. Who is fat.

Cricket sucks.

[Lindz]

Mate, people have died waiting for American football results, so you can jog on with that chat.

I have on more than one occasion fell asleep watching American football because I don't have 400 hours to waste on 2 minutes of action.

Yes gridiron sucks but that's beside the point. Although at least they can get it done before the sun sets and rises again.

[jnp]

I have on more than one occasion fell asleep watching American football because I don't have 400 hours to waste on 2 minutes of action.

As long as your torpor was induced by a hasty pre-game delivery of high fat proto food, I'd say you're understanding the sport perfectly.

Don't make things complicated.

*snore*

[TaeBo_Master]

Cricket is the only game I know where beating by your opponent by 400 points is considered a "moderate" victory.

[Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs]

Anyway chaps, I'm going to retire to the club house for tea and cucumber sandwiches, if you'll excuse a chap...

[Bneterasedmynam]

I thought this was a cricket?? Now I'm confused.

[Eddie Hardon]

England demolish India at cricket.

England romped to victory by 319 runs today after the team demonstrated utter superiority with the bat, ball and in the field.

This follows on from M.S Dhoni's display of sportsmanship that meant that the Indian team were admitted to the clubhouse for tea.

The Daily Mash picks up the story.



Anyway chaps, I'm going to retire to the club house for tea and cucumber sandwiches, if you'll excuse a chap...

Tiffin, dontchaknow, my good sir. And polish my jodphurs when you've a moment, we've a chukka later today.