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    Post your problems. I will solve them.

    Post what problems you have in your personal non-internet life and I will help you solve them... with the most impractical advice I can.


    GO GO GO!

    #2
    a dude who does wing chun, and outweighs me by 40 pounds wants to put my judo/tkd skills to the test.

    what do i do?

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      #3
      Originally posted by STB'A View Post
      a dude who does wing chun, and outweighs me by 40 pounds wants to put my judo/tkd skills to the test.

      what do i do?
      Don't break your ribs first of all.

      Secondly, what you need to do is get a pilot's license. you might have to postpone the entire thing for about 3 years, but once you do, fly over his house every single night as low as you can without crashing for weeks leading up to the fight. On the day of, he'll be too tired to fight. Then you should be ok.

      While doing this, you might want to start doing something with your life. After this fiasco, you definitely wont' be able to get a job with any airline. So start with something small, maybe like stop selling your soul for the useless shit that you don't need. Stop letting your wife control your life and maybe get out more. You'll never be that champion you've wanted to be, so maybe you should just chill out and practice. Once you get around to getting your balls back, you'll come to terms with the fact that you're old and useless. Do some quirky hobby, like birdwatching, every once in a while, someone will mention it and you can shoehorn that into conversation. "Oh yes, I do that. Yes, let me tell you how soothing and relaxing it is."

      During this conversation you and the other person will come to the same soul crushing conclusion that neither one of you have done anything in your lives.
      Last edited by King Sleepless; 11/10/2010 10:14pm, .

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        #4
        1. I need to get laid.

        2. I have an exam tomorrow, and need to get a good grade.

        3. I need to get laid.
        www.childsplaycharity.org

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          #5
          Originally posted by Pilgrim View Post
          1. I need to get laid.

          2. I have an exam tomorrow, and need to get a good grade.

          3. I need to get laid.
          Couldn't you just like sleep with the examiner? That would solve both issues.

          Failing that, rape him/her and say if they dn't give you an A you'll [insert horrific detail here]

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Pilgrim View Post
            1. I need to get laid.

            2. I have an exam tomorrow, and need to get a good grade.

            3. I need to get laid.
            Solution: Vampire Mouth Fleshlight. Why? I don't know...seemed to fit both getting laid and late night study session.

            Comment


              #7
              That kinda reminds me of this..

              YouTube - Teeth - Trailer

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                #8
                I need a job but I am lazy I mean really lazy.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by goodlun View Post
                  I need a job but I am lazy I mean really lazy.
                  Be a security guard.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I work in an office, and now that the clocks have rolled back the sun is already down when I leave for the day. I’m a man who enjoys sunlight and being outside, so I usually spend a good deal of my 1 hour lunch break at a local park, skateboarding or playing with my escrima sticks, but I would appreciate some impractical advice on how to get more daylight in my life.


                    That was actually all I could think of. I like my job, I like my training, and I like the girl I'm seeing. Things are going pretty well.

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                      #11
                      I was actually going to say the same thing but I was at work and you got in first while I was dozing off

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by CodosDePiedra View Post
                        I would appreciate some impractical advice on how to get more daylight in my life.
                        Al Pacino in Insomnia.
                        That is all.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
                          Al Pacino in Insomnia.
                          That is all.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Pilgrim View Post
                            1. I need to get laid.

                            2. I have an exam tomorrow, and need to get a good grade.

                            3. I need to get laid.
                            Well the obvious answer (also the one you're intimating at) is to hookup with your teacher. The problem with this is, you'll get an F because you probably lay like a brick.

                            So here's what you do, you'll need to get a hold of some programming skills. Create an USB auto-loaded worm, one of your own creation so it doesn't get picked up by any random free anti-virus. You upload the worm onto the USB and leave it on her desk. Eventually she'll see the USB, curiosity getting the best of her, and put it on her computer. Your worm will install itself and now you'll have access to her computer.

                            Once she finishes grading the exam, it doesn't matter what you got on it. Remotely log into the machine and then look through her porn folder. Find whatever ridiculous embarrassing porn she has and then confront her about it. This next part requires you to be really convincing. You tell her that you have a shared interest in what she's into. Once you establish a working trust with her, you and her go on sexual adventures together, growing the sexual tension. Through these adventures, you'll probably get laid if you play your cards right. Just make sure not with her.

                            Get her some huge hulking korean to have sex with and while she's getting her birth canal rammed by his fleshy battering ram, go into her room and switch your exam with a higher grade one. Tell her about it the next day saying that you got a lower grade even though your exam sheet says otherwise. She'll change it. Problem fucking solved.

                            Originally posted by goodlun View Post
                            I need a job but I am lazy I mean really lazy.
                            Get yourself handicap status. This is actually pretty easily done. You can actually fake it with a pretend doctor's note at the DMV. Once you do this, there are lots of jobs for handicap that can be done out of your home.

                            Quit your job, get one by the docks doing manual labor. You'll feel better about your life now that you aren't being caged up and you will have all the sunlight you could want and you will get stronger, thus become a better martial artist, also your girl will stop fucking your best buddy now that you don't have the physique of a stay puff marshmallow man.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Sirc View Post
                              Quit your job, get one by the docks doing manual labor. You'll feel better about your life now that you aren't being caged up and you will have all the sunlight you could want and you will get stronger, thus become a better martial artist, also your girl will stop fucking your best buddy now that you don't have the physique of a stay puff marshmallow man.
                              Actually I was hoping for something a little more impractical, perhaps involving an elaborate series of mirrors. I'm already manly as fuck.

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