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battlefields
12/13/2009 7:21pm,
I think I recall recently Hedgehogey (?) calling me too fat to pull off sweeps. I countered that hypothetically I would be fitter in the hypothetical future when the hypothetical sweeps were to be taking place. However, this was just me using twisted logic to shield me from the fact that I am a fucking lardo.

Back in high school I was even heavier and constant fat jokes caused me to lose an insane amount of weight in a short period of time in the most unhealthy way possible (120kgs- 70kgs in three months). Realising through a series of health scares that I was damaging myself, I hit the gym, then I started muay Thai. In a way I thank those most harsh as I might never have embarked on what eventually became a period of peak fitness and strength.

I figure there is still comedy gold that has not yet been mined and I am sick of being borderline obese, it will probably help me to hear these jokes as motivation for losing twenty kegs. So this thread is basically for you to hit me with your best "motivation".

At the moment I am just under 115kgs, goal weight is 85kgs. It will take a while for definitive results, especially over Christmas (last year my jaw was wired shut and I had to eat through a straw, I want some glazed fucking HAM), but I am aiming for a mid year achievement of the goal. I'll update every fortnight on my progress, or lack thereof.

animlmthr
12/13/2009 7:38pm,
making fun of fat people to their faces is wrong.

TheRuss
12/13/2009 7:48pm,
Go ahead and eat the ham, but don't touch the stuffing and mashed potatoes unless you've just worked out.

"But Russ, we're going to be eating stuffing and mashed potatoes for lunch and dinner every day!"

Then you'd better get on a twice-daily training regimen.

Tom Kagan
12/13/2009 7:48pm,
I'm really not in the mood to make fun of you for being fat. Can't you instead just hurry up and die already?

Vorpal
12/13/2009 10:23pm,
Let's change your name to Butterfields until you lose the weight. Also, please stop using the metric system as it confuses us Americans (we almost switched to it but didn't want to work eight days for a two day weekend).

jkdbuck76
12/13/2009 10:39pm,
battlefields,

Lose the weight and then unchain golden-bikini Princess Leia from your Hutt sled.

devilboy7778
12/13/2009 10:41pm,
Ive been skinny my whole life
I eat what I want when I want.
When I hear people are fat i just eat a whole thing of cake, wait an hour, go down stairs, do a pushup, and see how i stay in shape and lose weight.

Keep this in mind when you are doing work outs, it might enrage you.
Best of wishes to ya

DKJr
12/13/2009 10:55pm,
Get your fatass in the weight room or the track. I don't really feel sorry for you since I used to be fat and know how it happens. Boo hoo your parents taught you bad eating habits or boo hoo genetics. Life sucks and everyone has their own shiity excuses and problems about something, get over it and choose to make the change. It's never easy otherwise it would be bad for you.
Heres what you're gonna do think of your goal, research how to accomplish it, find a buddy to do it with you, and wake up tomorrow and do it. Make (insert activity) a habit and a part of your life. Good for you most people live walk around with their head up their ass. Change sucks but it's worth it. /rant over back to studying for Finance final.

SaintHamish
12/13/2009 11:00pm,
http://www.bigcheesebadges.com/images/fat_people_are_harder_to_kidnap.png

AlphaFoxtrot51
12/13/2009 11:19pm,
making fun of fat people to their faces is wrong.

Was that a double-chin joke? Or am I mis-steak-en?

TheMightyMcClaw
12/13/2009 11:44pm,
Normally I reserve my fat jokes for Snake, but I suppose I can spare a few of them for you, fatty-fatty no-friends.
Stop drinking beer and soda. Drink water. Maybe drink some milk.
Do heavy compound lifts at the gym until you can squat/dead/bench your bodyweight. You'll either have to get stupid-strong or lose the flab.
Sprint. Imagine that your chasing after a chance to get laid, and running from the ridicule of your peers.
Blah blah blah, more getting in shape boiler plate. You already know what to do. You just have to do it.

battlefields
12/13/2009 11:48pm,
Get your fatass in the weight room or the track. I don't really feel sorry for you since I used to be fat and know how it happens. Boo hoo your parents taught you bad eating habits or boo hoo genetics. Life sucks and everyone has their own shiity excuses and problems about something, get over it and choose to make the change. It's never easy otherwise it would be bad for you.
Heres what you're gonna do think of your goal, research how to accomplish it, find a buddy to do it with you, and wake up tomorrow and do it. Make (insert activity) a habit and a part of your life. Good for you most people live walk around with their head up their ass. Change sucks but it's worth it. /rant over back to studying for Finance final.


There was no joke in this whole rant, WTF? Actually, I suppose this is ridiculing, so cheers.

Dude, my parents taught me great eating habits, I completely wear the blame for my diet and general laziness, I'd never put that on anyone else. In relation to genetics, ****, I'd be one of the more physically gifted dudes out there when I work. I have a goal, a plan and training partners (who are unfortunately not as available to train as I am).

TheMightyMcClaw, I liked the "fatty fatty no friends", trip down memory lane, lol. Don't drink alcohol and lost 2kgs in three weeks when I gave up the soda, so you are on to something there.

Good luck in your Finance exam, DKJ.

TheMightyMcClaw
12/14/2009 12:35am,
TheMightyMcClaw, I liked the "fatty fatty no friends", trip down memory lane, lol. Don't drink alcohol and lost 2kgs in three weeks when I gave up the soda, so you are on to something there.

Good luck in your Finance exam, DKJ.

I swear, soda pop is likely one of the most underestimated causes of fat-ass in the modern world.

battlefields
12/14/2009 12:45am,
I wholeheartedly agree. And as soon as I finish this 3 litre bottle of Pepsi I'll give it up, lol.

Losing that much weight that quickly was awesome especially as I didn't modify anything else other than one teaspoon of sugar with my coffee rather than my usual two. It was like cheating. I eat well 95% of the time, but I can drink cola by the litre so there is my first step.

Rule #1- No sugar drinks, including sugar in coffee. Excluding juice.

SaintHamish
12/14/2009 1:09am,
Rule #1- No sugar drinks, including sugar in coffee. Excluding juice.


Why excluding juice?

honest_truth
12/14/2009 1:30am,
Hey McFatkins
change your style to Sumo

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2002/01/08/sumo.jpg
I believe i can fly
i believe i can touch the sky

http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w275/Darkdragon1298/fat.jpg

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab182/rogermaxson/fat%20people/fat.jpg

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab182/rogermaxson/fat%20people/fat-1.jpg

http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx35/Yorth/Joeisfat.jpg

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i297/Burningthunder_2006/FatPeoplePoster.jpg

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/bravesflyer2011/dancing.gif