PDA

View Full Version : Improptu anti-aikido demonstration



Pages : [1] 2 3 4 5 6

3moose1
5/20/2009 9:23pm,
So, here I am in my science class, learning about something.

I just need the credit, i've only got 4 days left, and i'm going to pass with a B-, even if i bomb the final exam.

We're watching something on waves and force, and all of a sudden, in the movie we're watching, some aikido guy comes on the show to talk about how awesome it is, how much force is transmitted, blah blah blah.

He does the whole one inch punch, and the push down on the head thing. He even pushes someone over with a bokken. Everyone in the class is impressed.

Being the budding martial artist i am, I scoff. My teacher pauses the movie, as everyone is in awe of this dude.

So people ask me, "Dude, what is that?" "Is it real?" "can you do it?"

And my teacher pretends not to pay attention, even though i can see the curiosity in her eyes.

I say, "its aikido."

"its garbage, for real fighting. If you're into japanese culture, its awesome"

"Yes."

Yes? Really? Can you show us?

"sure"

So i start with the one inch punch. Well, it wasn't really teh "bruce lee one inch punch" The guy started with his fist a few inches from the chest, open. He'd close it as he pushed his fist into Uke, and uke would fall into the chair, amazed at his power.

So i get a volunteer, and a chair. I say, "watch this"

and do it. Everyone is impressed. If i was more egotistical, i'd have stopped there, and relished more badassness in my rep.

Then i say, "Watch this"

and i push him into the chair. No one is impressed.

I say, "Its the exact, EXACT same thing, one just has a fist, so you're all impressed. I could do it with a finger"

Next they are like, "oh noes, what about t3h head thingay?"

So I get my uke to stand up. As i'm positioning him, like the guy did in the video, I make sure he's on his heels, standing nice and straight. I put my fingers on the crown of my head, and push down with the heel of my hand. I push down and back, but if you're not specifically looking for it, you won't see it.

Everyone's impressed, so I explain what I did.

Take that, Aikido.

NJM
5/20/2009 9:36pm,
You skipped the mandatory "then I got laid" part that always finishes up your posts :(

kwoww
5/20/2009 9:38pm,
For senior health day today, some bujinkan dude (who's a substitute teacher at our school) did a seminar on street smarts and self defense.

none of his pressure points worked. i tried to avoid loling. then, seeing as he's a 20+ year veteran of some obscure japanese martial art, i told him to check out bullshido.net, and he seemed pretty interested in the constructive and diverse network of martial artists which i described to him.

just a related story.

3moose1
5/20/2009 9:41pm,
You skipped the mandatory "then I got laid" part that always finishes up your posts :(


Lulz.



For senior health day today, some bujinkan dude (who's a substitute teacher at our school) did a seminar on street smarts and self defense.

none of his pressure points worked. i tried to avoid loling. then, seeing as he's a 20+ year veteran of some obscure japanese martial art, i told him to check out bullshido.net, and he seemed pretty interested in the constructive and diverse network of martial artists which i described to him.

just a related story.


buy a bullshido shirt. Trust me.

MrBadGuy
5/20/2009 9:44pm,
You skipped the mandatory "then I got laid" part that always finishes up your posts :(


There were no fat chicks in his health class.

BA ZING

ChickenBeakFist
5/20/2009 9:45pm,
I think you dropped the ball on this one, Moose.

You should have said "Oh, yeah. One inch punch? I can do that. No sweat..."

After the demonstration you should have done the Neo strut right back to your desk and not said another word about it the rest of the class.

If anyone asked you how to do it, you should have told them you're not allowed to share secrets with those outside your Hombu.

Men would want to be you. Women would want to be with you. I consider Bullshido to be perfectly acceptable if it gets you laid. I'd be perfectly willing to testify on your behalf.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you have to be Mr. "I crusade for truth in the martial arts!!!!!"

Douche...

3moose1
5/20/2009 9:49pm,
Haha, I'd rather not have people think i'm a barely contained whirlwind of death.


Because I am. And people don't like that.

MrBadGuy
5/20/2009 9:58pm,
See, its funny, because moose is a chubby chaser.

ChickenBeakFist
5/20/2009 10:08pm,
See, its funny, because moose is a chubby chaser.

YouTube - badabum tsch - lame joke drumsound (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LekUKeFijxc&feature=related)

Sley
5/20/2009 10:20pm,
Haha, I'd rather not have people think i'm a barely contained whirlwind of death.


Because I am. And people don't like that.

By people do you mean fat chicks?

Great job at disproving akido, and making a class more entertaining, (those videos suck but are not match to the ones they used to have with the Slide show projector and the separate sound tape, those were classic)

Lindz
5/20/2009 10:28pm,
what's the push down on the head thing?

Whacker
5/20/2009 10:34pm,
what's the push down on the head thing?

I'm curious as well.

Come now moosey, there's no shame in admitting you were doing this in an effort to go hoggin' w/the fat girls later. Big girls need lovin' too ya know.

Also obligatory "Damn teenagers."

3moose1
5/20/2009 10:41pm,
Ok, the general consensus is SHE WASN'T FAT. Apparently my tastes are more discriminating then the internet's.

Would you guys like me to post pictures of the recent girls i've dated, for your approval? IF i do, you must do the same.


As for the push head thing, i don't know the name of it. You have your head on their hand, and you push down. They fall like they got hit by a ton of elephants made of bricks.

Whacker
5/20/2009 10:43pm,
As for the push head thing, i don't know the name of it. You have your head on their hand, and you push down. They fall like they got hit by a ton of elephants made of bricks.

This still doesn't make sense. Find a vid. Or make some nice crayon drawings.

Snake Plissken
5/20/2009 11:02pm,
I read this as:

moose got his ass-kicked in science class by a substitute teaching aikidoka

Onr3e
5/20/2009 11:09pm,
That head push thing sounds sexual in nature