View Full Version : October is Fat Sucks Month

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10/02/2008 12:21pm,
Fatty fatty 2x4
Can't fit through the dojo door!

Face it: fighting is the supreme athletic activity. In order to be good at fighting, you need to be in shape, and no, "round" is not a shape.

As people dedicated to reason and common sense, we realize that you don't need to resemble an underwear model to be a good fighter. I've personally known people who border on the chubby who have cardio for days.

But they're the exception, not the rule. A healthy lifestyle, as much of a pain in the ass as it may be in the age of Baconators, fried cheesecake, Pizzones, and Krispy Kreme, is the foundation on which fighting skills are built. And neglecting this is like building your house on a landfill.

Shame and humiliation are the most effective means of encouraging forward progress. So this month we've dedicated to making fun of the obese, for their own good. Put down the cheetos, break out the chicken breasts, and let's get on board the 5 PM train to Fattytown where we'll point and snicker at everyone makes poor choices about their health.

Is it cruel? Sure. Are some of us a bit on the tubby side? You betcha. And that's the point: there's almost no valid excuse as to why anyone should be a Tubbs McJiggles in this day and age. Exercise is free, and eating less is, by simple economics, cheaper. Hell, if you're reading this you already have access to the best resource of information in human history. So not knowing what good choices are is no excuse.

NAAFA can choke on a bacon-lard sandwich: let's build the best "us" we can. And that usually involves as little of us as is necessary to kick ass efficiently.

10/02/2008 12:23pm,

I'm big-boned, dammit!

Scott Larson
10/02/2008 12:28pm,
Good choice, and only a day late.

Snake Plissken
10/02/2008 12:37pm,
This thread will make them sweat gravy.

10/02/2008 12:52pm,
I see Phrost getting a visit by reps from the Sumo community to argue the virtues of "Round" as a legitimate shape.

10/02/2008 1:01pm,
Meh, Sumo is rigged anyway.

10/02/2008 1:19pm,
Besides, I noticed a mention of exceptions to the rule, where sumo wrestlers would propably fit in. Unless I'm mistaken, in addition to being obese, sumoists are required to be in a good physical shape. After all, their profession involves throwing guys their size around.

Snake Plissken
10/02/2008 1:19pm,
Imagine if it were a fat kiddie blackbelt.

10/02/2008 1:27pm,
So as not to exclude those like myself who can't help being thin, I think it fair to mention that just because you're not fat doesn't mean you're fit.


10/02/2008 1:48pm,
So as not to exclude those like myself who can't help being thin, I think it fair to mention that just because you're not fat doesn't mean you're fit.


Well said, you being thin or phat doesn't necessarily equate to fitness level. Although on an average, phat people tend to be out of shape versus the skinny people. It does help to be skinny though, takes less effort to move the body and its various parts around.

10/02/2008 2:05pm,
So, November's going to be Beanpoles Suck month, then?

10/02/2008 2:05pm,
I'm not fat, as everyone who has met me or seen me knows. But I still eat too much garbage, which affects my health. I just had a burger king cheeseburger for lunch and I feel like I'm going to die. Every time that happens I swear I'll never eat there again, then I find myself out at a client in the middle of the day starving and next thing I know i'm choking down a greasy burger.... Ugh.
Eating less might be cheap and easy. But eating healthy can be absolutely an inconvenient pain in the ass.

vaquero de las nalgas
10/02/2008 2:53pm,
I'm not a fat ass but I play one on tv.

Besides, I smoke to keep the weight down.

10/02/2008 3:12pm,
Does this mean i have to give up my diet of eating fat chicks?

Father Dagon
10/02/2008 3:27pm,
One of the most prominent beer guts I've ever seen in a MA context belonged to an aikoda, hakama and all. He was middle aged, so he was probably the teacher.

Must be the template for those circular movements they are yapping about.

10/02/2008 3:54pm,
WTF? I can't believe you blew off my suggestion for "Mail Order Bride Companies That Take Your Money And Leave You Sobbing Like A Pathetic Half-Man Month" for this.