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Jenfucius
12/06/2003 4:34pm,
what's your favorite tall tale from the martial arts?

my favorite is about the taoist masters who live up in the mountains. they use qigong and special medicines to live to be very very old. they don't use ordinary techniques and their bodies do not look strong, but they have incredible control of their chi so that they can use it to make you feel hot or cold or scared, and make it seem like the world is growing dark and evil spirits and demons are coming out.

when a taoist master lives to be around 200, his spirit is still strong but his body starts to grow weak. so he uses his special technique in which he bundles his spirit inside a powerful projection of chi, and sends his soul inside of a newborn baby. that way he controls his own reincarnation, and steals control of the wheel of life. to a taoist master, changing bodies is like changing a broken down old car for a shiny new one!

this is why not everyone can learn the secrets of advanced taoist methods. only those who have cultivated their chi over countless incarnations and have learned to steal control of the wheel of life possess the inborn talent to achieve these special powers.

Jenfucius
12/06/2003 4:37pm,
i'll be impressed if you can tell a better one!

Perfection
12/06/2003 4:54pm,
Some of the stories I've read on this site from some of the SCARS people had my skepticism radar on 10. These happened before I started posting here so I never bothered to follow up with questions.

One from the BJJ side though. The guy that played Al Bundy on Married with Children trains in BJJ and he bragged about how it saved his life two times. Once was against his next door neighbor who he choked out. Just imagining this dude fighting is hilarious to me. The second one was actually silly, he said a guy tackled him and he put the man in the guard and the fight was subsequently broken up.

Sincerely,

Ken

JKDChick
12/06/2003 5:22pm,
Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.

LLL
12/06/2003 5:25pm,
Kyoshu Jitsu videos, where a guy stares at the opponent & he gets 'KO'd' by chi... I really doubt they had stupider **** than that even in the old days of legends...

Jenfucius
12/06/2003 5:41pm,
ed o'neil rules! i want to see him kick screech's ass on the next celebrity boxing!

tallpaul50
12/06/2003 6:44pm,
I think my faviorite tall tale is when I see a local TKD demo in the mall, and the instructor says his martial art is over 5,000 years old. Yeah...RIGHT!

That, or when I hve talked to some of his students here and there, and they tell me that the reason they don't go to open tournaments is because htey would dominate so much...again...RIGHT!

LLL
12/06/2003 6:54pm,
Hey hey, TKD is going to be 50 soon, you can't blame them for just accidentally putting in a couple more zeroes...

Shuma-Gorath
12/06/2003 7:16pm,
Originally posted by JKDChick
Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.

This is the greatest thing I've heard all year.

Benjamin
12/06/2003 8:14pm,
ricky bray - "yeah i think i could take a bullet in the chest" need i say more

Freddy
12/06/2003 8:40pm,
"Al Bundy!" Too funny!!!!!!

The_Dude73
12/08/2003 8:04am,
Originally posted by JKDChick
Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.

I'd heard he was a brown belt.

SLJ
12/08/2003 9:56am,
"so he uses his special technique in which he bundles his spirit inside a powerful projection of chi, and sends his soul inside of a newborn baby."

Lol, that was funny.

It's "Chi-encarnation!" :)

MuayThaiBri67
12/08/2003 10:48am,
How many times have we all heard this one: All I have to do is hit you once, and your dead.


"You can't outrun death forever, but you can make the bastard work for it"

Ronin
12/08/2003 10:50am,
Hey that one is true !!!!!!
If I hit you once with a suv going 80 mph, you are dead

phoebe
12/08/2003 12:56pm,
Hey that one is true !!!!!!
If I hit you once with a suv going 80 mph, you are dead
ahhh SUVfu... I think that particular MA is getting waaaaaaaay too popular ;)