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Smoot
11/02/2007 7:56pm,
I realize this may not be the place for asking how to phrase things tactfully, but here goes:

I'm planning on starting in on sensible self-defense training. I've taken what I think people here would call McDojo karate, and vividly remember being asked to 'trade' defenses with someone a LOT smaller than me. Like, a kid.

Yes, they were lapel-grab defenses. I had to almost bow 90 degrees so the kid could reach the damn things*.

Here's what I want to say: I want to learn to defend myself against the sorts of people likely to cause me injury, if they came up. These people generally don't include preteens, or seniors, or (for the most part) unarmed women making frontal attacks.

(I am reasonably tall, so I could see where people wanting to defend against a "big guy" would want to "practice" on me, but I don't see how that helps me.)

So... how would I do that, without sounding like some sort of anti-woman, anti-kid, anti-old people type?

---
*(and yes, random lapel grabs are about the millionth thing you'd need to worry about. It's not like I wear suits with lapels in the first place, and there's better things to do than 'counter' it. I get that. Just so you don't have to tell me. :) )

BJJbot
11/02/2007 7:57pm,
So Smoot, you decided to go ahead and register huh? Cool. Don't forget to review your dojo (http://www.bullshido.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=83).

Feryk
11/02/2007 8:05pm,
First, welcome to the board. You'll find good information here, even if it is laced with a lot of aggressive language.

Second, sounds like you are ready to leave a McDojo and go on to other training. Find a place that trains a serious art, and you won't have that problem. BJJ and Judo are good for grappling, and they match up by weight class for the most part. That will solve your problem right there.

Muay Thai or Kyokushin Karate would be good striking arts to consider, but they train a lot of hard contact, so the people there tend to be a lot more serious. You might train with a smaller person, but that smaller person will be trying to take your head off.

Good luck.

CanucKyokushin
11/02/2007 8:05pm,
Sambo,wrestling,BJJ or Judo.

It is Fake
11/02/2007 8:12pm,
(I am reasonably tall, so I could see where people wanting to defend against a "big guy" would want to "practice" on me, but I don't see how that helps me.)

So... how would I do that, without sounding like some sort of anti-woman, anti-kid, anti-old people type?You are training for yourself right? Then don't worry about what people think. Unless it is free or they are giving you a special discount it is your money. You need to train in a way that makes you happy. If you are happy that will make you a better training partner.

If he is a close friend let him know you are looking for something different, more competitive, no children (there is absolutely nothing wrong with that). Do it after class, by yourself so as not to bruise egos.

Trust me, you find the right school the woman issue will disappear. The ones that go to less McDojo schools like to train hard.

HonkyTonkMan
11/02/2007 9:05pm,
Print both of these replies and keep them on your refrigerator. (Not mine..the first two)

As was said. Its your money. That makes you a CUSTOMER. If the customer isnt happy they go elsewhere. Like I have said before...If you went into the grocery store, would you let the guy in the dairy department pick out your cheese for you? Hell no. What makes this any different.

Now having said that, if the instructor is a GOOD friend then feelings may be at stake. Yet this will make talking to them easier.

However, be careful what you wish for. Try out some of the more serious training schools before signing up. It may not be what you are looking for.

Have you tried looking for partners in the school you are attending that feel the same way? Thats what I did. I do have to spar people that are smaller , younger, female and what not, however, I use that time to work on my evasion. Then when I get to spar my buddies we go about 75%.

Make sure its ok with your instructor first. If it isnt then it isnt what you are looking for and move on. You have to do whats best for YOU.

Smoot
11/02/2007 9:38pm,
Thanks for replying so quickly- I expected to wait days... and it's solid info, too.

I haven't trained for a while (hence "lapsed") - I lacked enough money, time, or good local instruction- but at least 2/3 of that seems to be clearing up.

Back then, I had a serious mental block about "hitting girls" (it wasn't a PC thing), but if the choice is to fight or be an inert punching bag, I guess I'd better learn to either hit back or start charging for it. :)

Feryk
11/05/2007 5:28pm,
Back then, I had a serious mental block about "hitting girls" (it wasn't a PC thing), but if the choice is to fight or be an inert punching bag, I guess I'd better learn to either hit back or start charging for it. :)

Go see a girl Muay Thai fight and tell them you think they are too delicate to hit...I dare you.:5football

LI GUY 1
11/05/2007 6:52pm,
Where ar e you located, some can offer opinions on schools for you or let you know of some you may not be aware of.

Askari
11/05/2007 6:56pm,
*(and yes, random lapel grabs are about the millionth thing you'd need to worry about. It's not like I wear suits with lapels in the first place, and there's better things to do than 'counter' it. I get that. Just so you don't have to tell me. :) )
Why would you think this?

Having seen about a million bar brawls, they all look like hockey fights and involve lapel grabs and wild swings.

So its probably a good idea to learn to defend against it - so learn Judo.

Smoot
11/05/2007 8:29pm,
Go see a girl Muay Thai fight and tell them you think they are too delicate to hit...I dare you.

It's not a delicacy thing, and I wrote that I mean to get over it... what's your point, again?

(ETA: That was taking you a bit over-literally- yeah, MT people hit hard. Gotcha. )

Smoot
11/05/2007 8:36pm,
Why would you think this?

Having seen about a million bar brawls, they all look like hockey fights and involve lapel grabs and wild swings.

So its probably a good idea to learn to defend against it - so learn Judo.

Oh, I agree. Maybe I should have elaborated:

If I get you, what you mean is the "I grab onto your shirt or jacket, sort of using it to haul you around or tie you up so I can beat twelve varieties of crap out of you" lapel grabs.

What I was being McTaught was counters to "I'm just going to stand here, in a particular way, grab your lapels with both hands and do nothing else, so you'd better do a sort of arm-weave to break the hold, instead of, say striking or applying a headlock or something" lapel grabs.

Taking and noting your recommendation for Judo, though. Thanks!

Smoot
11/05/2007 8:48pm,
Where ar e you located, some can offer opinions on schools for you or let you know of some you may not be aware of.

Cape Cod, MA. (Yeah, yeah- "mean streets of Kennedyville". ;) )

There's a gym that teaches Poekelan Tjiminde (sp?), a KM place somewhere, a bunch of guys informally doing BJJ (not a school- just Brazilian guys working here, so far as I can tell), and a place that seems to teach Bando, but that's all I've seen personally.

I'm really just getting my feet back in- more of a fact-finding thing right now, than anything else, but any information is welcomed. Thanks!

golsa
11/05/2007 9:52pm,
hmm none of that looks especially promising. Bando is a great art, pretty much MT with head butts, but with small time arts like that it can be hard making sure your instructor is actually qualified. At least with say MT you can verify that they hold an instructor certificate with TBA or some such organization. I know absolutely nothing about Pukulan Tjiminde, but surely it would have the same problem as Bando with finding a good instructor. Of course with the issues KM has with its instructor certifications you may well be better off with the other two.

LI GUY 1
11/06/2007 12:26am,
The one KM school I have seen is great for self defence. They kickbox, grapple, multiple opponents and weapons sparring, along with the standard set self defence techniques and blocking drills etc.

GIJoe6186
11/06/2007 1:00am,
What you want is guys who train hard and realistically. You can usually find this in any full contact school.

Most schools that do full contact training are full of guys, not kids and women.