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View Full Version : Some drunk walked into my house at 3AM



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SFGOON
10/29/2007 2:41pm,
So there I was, no ****. I don't remember much until I got to my bedroom door and noticed the air pressure was off when I opened it - I didn't get that "whoosh" which meant that a door or window was open which was NOT the case when I went to bed. BAAAAAAD news bears... I froze for a second and heard some movement which scared the **** out of me. I went and collected my sidearm, sans ammo, and made my way to the living room. As I rounded the corner I saw a man in his forties, obviously drunk or stoned, and very confused.

I watched him for a few seconds and he definitely didn't have a single functioning brain cell. Standing in my living room, staring off into space, looking around like "where the **** am I?"

Partially covered by the corner (he had not noticed me drawing down on him with an empty pistol,) I hissed at him to get his attention without waking my wife who was asleep in the next room. His eyes bugged out and he started walking backwards, out my open sliding glass door where he tripped and fell ass over teakettle down two steps and onto a concrete patio. He got up and ran - into a tree - then got up again and ran off. I cleared my flat to make sure he didn't have any friends waiting in the dark then went back to bed.

The moral of the story is - lock your fucking doors.

So - that was my evening :phil2: did you guys do anything exciting?

cyrijl
10/29/2007 2:43pm,
YOU DON'T LOCK YOUR DOORS?

I think I need a gun. all I got is a hatchet.

Carpe Noctem
10/29/2007 2:50pm,
So...you didn't lock your door and had an unloaded firearm?

Having a blonde moment, were we? ;)

Odacon
10/29/2007 2:58pm,
Unlocked doors? Whats all that about?

Matt W.
10/29/2007 3:01pm,
You "hissed"??? Lol. Okay, Mr. Elmore.

partyboy
10/29/2007 3:02pm,
Unlocked doors? Whats all that about?

It's a back door in (i'm assuming) Seattle, WA... ****, how many other doors do you think old man willy tried before he found SF's unlocked?

Kintanon
10/29/2007 3:03pm,
Only place I ever locked my doors was in whitebread suburbia in baltimore. I didn't even have to lock them in the ghetto apartment complex I lived in. Since it was a dealer complex no one messed with ****. Freakin suburbanite kids will steal your ****...

Chizilds
10/29/2007 3:09pm,
Whats with the "Sans ammo" part.... what if he had a gun "CON" ammo...... were you gonna throw your piece at him?

AMH
10/29/2007 3:49pm,
So...you didn't lock your door and had an unloaded firearm?

Having a blonde moment, were we? ;)

Touché
I ALWAYS lock my doors. Always, no exceptions.
And as for as the unloaded gun goes: you mind as well just keep a baseball bat in the house because if you get caught off guard than all the unloaded gun is good for is a club.
But on the up side: Major congrats on keeping your bearing when you had a bead on this guy. Excellent self control. Kudos!

DerAuslander
10/29/2007 4:13pm,
So - that was my evening :phil2: did you guys do anything exciting?

Just a bunch of drama due to a love triangle that came to light when certain people slept with the wrong people at a party on Friday...

My roomate (a Marine who should know better), constantly leaves the front door unlocked, where I find it unlocked in the morning when I leave for work...:XXspam:

Goju - Joe
10/29/2007 4:26pm,
Get a dog

Sam Browning
10/29/2007 4:39pm,
But would Phil Elmore have done?

SFGOON
10/29/2007 5:00pm,
Get a dog

I found out just how worthless my lazy good for nothing beagle was last night. When I was out looking for burglars he jumped up on the bed and fell asleep on my pillow.

I live in Bellevue - an affluent suburb of Seattle. Not a lot goes on around here, but that doesn't excuse my stupidity.

If I was a bachelor, it would have been funny to me and I might have treated the guy to some naked BJJ. With my bride in the next room, dreaming of Linens 'n Things it was seriously unfunny.

Phil Elmore would have done the same as me, but with a DE .50 with a laser sight and a bayonet. He would have peed too.

Lu Tze
10/29/2007 5:05pm,
No he wouldn't, he'd have fled to his fucking panic room and stayed there for 4 months. On his return to the world he'd then write a 18 page long essay describing his harrowing encounter with the brutal, crazed, heavily armed psychopath who broke into his home using demolition charges.

Edit: Honestly, do you know your neighbours well? It sounds to me like one of them, or a friend who stayed over, got confused and stumbled into the wrong house on the way back from a night on the piss. Happens all the time.

SFGOON
10/29/2007 5:11pm,
That's what I figured - the guy looked confused as ****. It's the only reason I let him go.

Sam Browning
10/29/2007 5:19pm,
You could have always hit him with a kettle bell, it would have been a documented win for systema.