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FUNKtastic
10/26/2007 9:33pm,
I want to start by admitting this thread may already have been posted but I couldn't find it through the search (more on why/how one left) so feel free to call me on it and ignore my post.

I wanted to talk about the expereinces people had leaving their old dojo; in terms of your current relationship with them. I have really left two gyms so far and in considering the contrast of our current relationship, decided to post my experience hoping others would as well.

WT: this was the first MA (aside from my 4th grade year in TKD and a couple of months at Sambo) that I really got into. I think I was there for around half a year and was pretty friendly with everyone there. I had to leave because I made my school schedule around the set class times (after being assured they would stay as they were) only to find out a week in that they had changed. Because it was impossible for me to keep coming to class unless I went to the late night sessions and came home at 11-12 p.m, I informed my instructor I could no longer attend. My contract (4 month and then you pay by month if you like) had already expired so leaving wasn't much of an issue. In fact I tried to come in several times to talk to the head instructor but unfortunately he was not in, an assistant instructor who was an awesome guy assured me I should talk to the head guy and expressed a hope that we could work something out. I honestly liked the place but the email I got back was along the lines of "o.k" followed by a sales pitch for private classes.

Later I emailed a person with whom I enjoyed a great rapport during and after class to invite him to hang out with me. He promptly replied, happy to hear from me, and when I emailed him back what classes I was now attending I have yet to hear from him (it's been a month). Another person from said gym that I emailed never replied.

Both guys not responding can be a coincidence, I wouldn't rule it out. Or it could be a general "he couldn't stick with it" attitude which is also possible. Still I thought the dismissal of "ok" buy some privates was a bit strange since we are always very friendly with eachother during and after classes.

Judo: I left once again because of scheduling. BJJ offers a wider range of time slots and is closer to school. If my schedule permits Judo after graduation, when I start work but won't be burdened by college homework, I would be glad to do both. My instructor is great, he has produced and is producing Olympic-level atheletes and had no problem with my cross training in BJJ. He personally wasn't interested in BJJ since his classes focus on an equal amount of ne-waza as randori (and are twice as long as my BJJ classes) so his opinion was always - do it if you want, I like Judo but it can only help you. He has many students who also wrestle, do JJJ, BJJ, etc. and remains an inspiration to me b/c despite a severe shoulder injury he has made it to nearly every class to teach (he has several black belts including a 5th Dan former Olympian who can fill in) and in fact teaches for free (the only money I payed was to the school which rents out the space). His continued dedication and love of the sport; so much that he braves an injury to teach free of charge warrants immense respect on my part.
The owner of the gym, also a student going for his BB, is still in contact with me despite the fact that I had only gone for a year. He regularly inquires how my training is going, encourages me to come in whenever I have time to train (understanding about my schedule he didn't make me pay for the month before the end of my contract), and has expressed a desire to come to my BJJ comps.

I realize that despite the love instructors have for their art, it is a business for most and though the "customer" is owed a level of curtesy, there doesn't have to be much more. Still, the contrast between and "ok" and a continued interest in a former student has made an impression on my, I was hoping others would share the experience they had with their former instructors after leaving a school.

gangrelchilde
10/26/2007 9:38pm,
Don't speak to anyone from my old kwoon. Left after I blew out a knee, then took up bjj. Due to legal issues outside my control I have to maintain limited contact with the instructors, but my personal trainer called them a few weeks ago trying to drum up business for the gym and when he realized it was my old kwoon he dropped my name to not-so-good of a reception. Apparently someone on staff is a tad bitter. *shrug*

SFGOON
10/26/2007 9:40pm,
That just tells you who has a real interest in teaching and developing other people, and who's just in it for a buck.

Sight unseen I bet your WT instructor is a bit of a sleaze.

FUNKtastic
10/26/2007 9:52pm,
Don't speak to anyone from my old kwoon. Left after I blew out a knee, then took up bjj. Due to legal issues outside my control I have to maintain limited contact with the instructors, but my personal trainer called them a few weeks ago trying to drum up business for the gym and when he realized it was my old kwoon he dropped my name to not-so-good of a reception. Apparently someone on staff is a tad bitter. *shrug*

Would you be willing to elaborate on the legal issues?



The WT instructor was always very nice in person...I can honestly say I heard him give a less than stellar description of maybe 2 students who had previously left though for reasons within their control. I don't consider this to be out of the ordinary, some students really do come to a gym with a sense of entitlement. Still the email threw me off like crazy.

JohnnyCache
10/26/2007 10:14pm,
That just tells you who has a real interest in teaching and developing other people, and who's just in it for a buck.

Sight unseen I bet your WT instructor is a bit of a sleaze.

I bet the nearest moose has hooves...

Lampa
10/26/2007 10:24pm,
The best gym I ever went to I had to leave because of scheduling issues. I wasn't there for a really long time, so I doubt they remember me too strongly in any way, now. I just learned a lot per time that I put in. Moreso than anywhere else.

I do feel guilty for leaving because the coach did his job the best anyone could expect. I should probably try to track down someone I trained with there and just ask how things are.

I think a lot of folks percieve their relationship with their old instructor to be worse than it is. I mean, the example I gave is on the extreme end, but I do feel like someone who probably only remembers me in the way that he'd recognize me if I said hi somehow feels slighted by my actions.

partyboy
10/26/2007 11:05pm,
my favorite kung fu teacher and I used to work on shootfighting and rolling during a lot of our sparring sessions while the other students were doing forms and pseudo-kickboxing each other... we both kind of got fed up with kung fu so he's giving up his BB to start BJJ classes with me as a white belt

Yrkoon9
10/26/2007 11:19pm,
Creonte.

EternalRage
10/27/2007 12:49am,
I want to start by admitting this thread may already have been posted but I couldn't find it through the search (more on why/how one left) so feel free to call me on it and ignore my post.

I wanted to talk about the expereinces people had leaving their old dojo; in terms of your current relationship with them. I have really left two gyms so far and in considering the contrast of our current relationship, decided to post my experience hoping others would as well.

WT: this was the first MA (aside from my 4th grade year in TKD and a couple of months at Sambo) that I really got into. I think I was there for around half a year and was pretty friendly with everyone there. I had to leave because I made my school schedule around the set class times (after being assured they would stay as they were) only to find out a week in that they had changed. Because it was impossible for me to keep coming to class unless I went to the late night sessions and came home at 11-12 p.m, I informed my instructor I could no longer attend. My contract (4 month and then you pay by month if you like) had already expired so leaving wasn't much of an issue. In fact I tried to come in several times to talk to the head instructor but unfortunately he was not in, an assistant instructor who was an awesome guy assured me I should talk to the head guy and expressed a hope that we could work something out. I honestly liked the place but the email I got back was along the lines of "o.k" followed by a sales pitch for private classes.

Later I emailed a person with whom I enjoyed a great rapport during and after class to invite him to hang out with me. He promptly replied, happy to hear from me, and when I emailed him back what classes I was now attending I have yet to hear from him (it's been a month). Another person from said gym that I emailed never replied.

Both guys not responding can be a coincidence, I wouldn't rule it out. Or it could be a general "he couldn't stick with it" attitude which is also possible. Still I thought the dismissal of "ok" buy some privates was a bit strange since we are always very friendly with eachother during and after classes.

Judo: I left once again because of scheduling. BJJ offers a wider range of time slots and is closer to school. If my schedule permits Judo after graduation, when I start work but won't be burdened by college homework, I would be glad to do both. My instructor is great, he has produced and is producing Olympic-level atheletes and had no problem with my cross training in BJJ. He personally wasn't interested in BJJ since his classes focus on an equal amount of ne-waza as randori (and are twice as long as my BJJ classes) so his opinion was always - do it if you want, I like Judo but it can only help you. He has many students who also wrestle, do JJJ, BJJ, etc. and remains an inspiration to me b/c despite a severe shoulder injury he has made it to nearly every class to teach (he has several black belts including a 5th Dan former Olympian who can fill in) and in fact teaches for free (the only money I payed was to the school which rents out the space). His continued dedication and love of the sport; so much that he braves an injury to teach free of charge warrants immense respect on my part.
The owner of the gym, also a student going for his BB, is still in contact with me despite the fact that I had only gone for a year. He regularly inquires how my training is going, encourages me to come in whenever I have time to train (understanding about my schedule he didn't make me pay for the month before the end of my contract), and has expressed a desire to come to my BJJ comps.

I realize that despite the love instructors have for their art, it is a business for most and though the "customer" is owed a level of curtesy, there doesn't have to be much more. Still, the contrast between and "ok" and a continued interest in a former student has made an impression on my, I was hoping others would share the experience they had with their former instructors after leaving a school.
I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it.

I can understand when they get bitter, they put time and energy into you and then you leave, and that can often be seen as "You're not as good as these other people, so I'm gonna go learn from them." At the same time, you know what's best for you and what you want to do, what you can afford, and how much time you can devote to it - which leads to travel issues in your case.

It's not like you're jumping around learning different schools' techniques and then entering a major tournament (styles don't even overlap in that case). And if they pull that honor or loyalty bullshit, that shouldn't make you feel bad either, because it's not like you're going around talking **** about your former schools or keeping students from going there.

You did your best to keep up relations, if they don't reciprocate, just move on, not worth the worry and stress.

attakmint
10/27/2007 3:24am,
you could do worse, i studied under Rudy Abel.

HonkyTonkMan
10/27/2007 6:09am,
I left my old TKD school because suprisingly enough it was a McDojo. I found one that wasnt so I joined. It is closer to the house and a better training environment (though it is leaning towards McDojo daily)

The old instructor saw me at a tourney and wouldnt speak to me or my kids. My son took TKD from this guy and loves him. It really hurt the boys feelings because he didnt understand.
So I said something to the guy. His attitude changed prety quick. At least towards the kids.

Oh well, **** 'em...they teach TKD.

gangrelchilde
10/27/2007 6:33am,
Would you be willing to elaborate on the legal issues?


It had nothing to do with my leaving. The teachers aren't pervs, no one has been molested, raped, or abused in any shape, way or form. Trust me, your kids are safe.
It involved someone who did something outside of class and unrelated to the school. Other than that, no, I actually cannot by order of my boss. I only mentioned it to elaorate a bit on the fact that there were things outside of my control which precipitated my leaving the studio. It's not like I just woke up one day and said "oh well, I hate Kung Fu so I'm quitting after three years of training and instucting."

Ragnarok2006
10/27/2007 6:38am,
One of my old TKD instructors drinks in my bar. I had a chat with him recently about my Judo and wanting to enter for a full contact kickboxing match. We ended up discussing it and he said:

"So what happens if someone lands a spinning heel to their opponents temple and they die?"

I just told him that doesnt actually happen and that people arent that fragile and he just shrugged and nodded his head. He's spent 20 years being taught all about how deadly TKD strikes to pressure points are and I guess in some part of his brain he knows its **** really. He's a great guy though.

My other TKD instructor just hates me because as one of his blackbelts I wasn't supposed to be vocal about his kid blackbelts and stupid prices.

sempaiman
10/27/2007 9:10am,
It usually doesn't work out when student leaves to form own school. They talk BS on how they want the students to learn and spread the art, but when one takes them up on it, they turn weird and the break- up is not cordial.

Ke?poFist
10/27/2007 10:58am,
I try to avoid the politics. Obviously I am on non-speaking terms with my old Kempo dojo, but some people have come and gone from my Jiu-Jitsu place, and as long as they get on the mat and train, I'll still talk and be on good terms with them.

FUNKtastic
10/27/2007 8:20pm,
I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it.

I can understand when they get bitter, they put time and energy into you and then you leave, and that can often be seen as "You're not as good as these other people, so I'm gonna go learn from them." At the same time, you know what's best for you and what you want to do, what you can afford, and how much time you can devote to it - which leads to travel issues in your case.

It's not like you're jumping around learning different schools' techniques and then entering a major tournament (styles don't even overlap in that case). And if they pull that honor or loyalty bullshit, that shouldn't make you feel bad either, because it's not like you're going around talking **** about your former schools or keeping students from going there.

You did your best to keep up relations, if they don't reciprocate, just move on, not worth the worry and stress.

I see where you are coming from but it wasn't a matter of anyone putting time an effort into me, I paid and was taught, this wasn't the kind of place that had people practicing and rolling after class with people around you could ask stuff. Not that it was discouraged, it just didn't happen much. Plus I was always the one volunteering to help with random stuff around the gym and the reason I left wasn't even that my schedule changed, it was that the schedule I was led to believe would be in effect (and changed my schedule to work around) was abandoned within a week of me starting school.

I don't expect more from them, I am a paying customer and I ceased to be one, I'm sure the schedule shifting as it brought more money to the place and didn't affect most students. Noon classes wasn't the bread and butter since most of the suits came at night, my problem was the shift in which days were noontime. The only thing is comparing the two places I left, I noticed one was much more interested in keeping up a rapport where as the other's communication with me once I left was limited to a private lesson sales pitch.

So I was wondering what kind of interaction other's have with former schools/mates.