View Full Version : Aikido intstructors dating students, getting them pregnant, etc.

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7/25/2007 5:24pm,
So I do a search on Aikido instructors dating students, and I find this long thread. Apparantly many people have problems with their Aikido instructors dating and hazing sex with students, among other things...

I can see where someone might meet and fall in love with one of their students or employees, this can happen in any setting. What I was concerned about, and have experience with, is an instructor who has, over the course of several years, gotten involved with more than three of his students. This person was chasing me around for a while, then backed off, saying "oh, no, I can't date my students." Then I left, but on fairly good terms. Since then,he has gotten another student pregnant and is now living with her. We are talking about a 4th dan getting involved with or making passes at several 5th and 6th kyu students. He has no women students above that rank because they all leave. After I left, I found out he had gotten another student pregnant before, and that several other students had quit because they felt this person was coming on to them. Obviously, this has a negative effect on those students. I have been very angry since finding out that my experience with this person was part of a pattern of behavior, and that I was lied to. It's left alot of others (former students)feeling angry and powerless. I have heard that he is telling people that I (and others,including the one he is living with) were pursuing him! I really hope this is an aberrant situation and that there are no other dojos like this, that's why I am asking. I have found a new place to practice, thankfully.
Here's another good one:

I have trained in or visited dojos with instructors of the following caliber:

Probably Alcoholic - Drank before class. Of course, it was just a glass of wine as it was explained to me. Besides, no Japanese sensei ever suffered from this problem.
Pot Smoker Ė Stoned while teaching the class.
Pedofile Ė Shares his name with a famous author and the dojo is not 2 miles from where I grew up. Imagine hearing from your mother, ďAikido was in the newspaper today.Ē
Womanizer Ė Man is a legend in the aikido community and the practice is a running joke.
Klickstein was before my time but given my track record Iíd have found my way there as well.

Another instructor of mine fell head over heels over a student but there was just one small problemóthe studentís girlfriend was in the class. Fortunately, Iíve never had a physically abusive sensei.

Some of these people are folks that I called sensei for many years. I predict in one case and know for certain in four others that the senior people in the dojo (including me) knew about the problems while they were going on. Only once, as far as I know, did someone say anything to the sensei about it. And the only reason there was because Iíd gone through it before and couldnít accept the thought of someone getting hurt because of the instructorís hobby. Also, I was new to the dojo and didnít have much investment in it, so if I got thrown out it didnít matter. Even with all that, it was very hard to have this discussion.

I would suggest a book called the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini in regards to why this sort of behavior happens. He goes into why people would accept this sort of behavior and the structure of a dojo is an ideal breeding ground for it. The short version is that you are part of a community that has embraced the practice; senior people have invested substantial time in that community; itís difficult to admit you made a bad decision, particularly once youíve made the time investment; and the instructor is usually a charismatic authority figure with some extraordinary skills that you want.

Another problem is that we are a community that often doesnít listen to its beginners and guess who will be not only the first to get hit on but also the first to notice the issue for what it is. Those very individuals often looked at as a dime a dozen. Iíve often wondered how many people came into those dojos, looked around, and said ďholy ****!Ē while running for the exit. Itís usually the beginners or those outside the situation who recognize it for what it is.

I've said enough. I hope others have things to add. Are aikido instructors just a bunch of perverts, criminals, pedophiles, cult leaders, etc destroying our communities?

tkd panda
7/25/2007 6:00pm,
Are aikido instructors just a bunch of perverts, criminals, pedophiles, cult leaders, etc destroying our communities? Quite possibly however peverts tend to look for jobs ware they can get regular contact with they're victims alot like some of the kids krotty/TKD teachers being paedophiles.

7/25/2007 6:56pm,
I totally didn't read that post, but I gotta say this isn't an Aikido thing. This happens far too often frankly. And its pretty much every style.

Fantasy Warrior
7/25/2007 7:07pm,
In his biography Geoff Thompson says that he was sexually abused by his Aikido sensei as a kid on a training camp. Wearing skirts, fancying boys, maybe there's a link?

7/25/2007 9:25pm,
LOL does this happen a lot then? Faaaaking hell

7/25/2007 9:33pm,
Are aikido instructors just a bunch of perverts, criminals, pedophiles, cult leaders, etc destroying our communities?

Yes. All of them. Way to bust that secret wide open Horatio, nice catch on a nearly 7 year old post.

7/25/2007 9:36pm,
So the Aikido instructors are like some kiddie fiddling ninja cult? All of them?

Fantasy Warrior
7/25/2007 10:19pm,
Not this Sensei!

7/25/2007 11:18pm,
I think this is just underreported, as in Aikido they train without resistance, and you cannot fight back like a normal person would. This type of training situation is very conducive to sexual assaults. Anyways, I just found this on google images

Fantasy Warrior
7/25/2007 11:21pm,
Doesn't Aikido even teach you to become one with your attacker?

7/26/2007 12:12am,
I lurked on the rec.martial-arts news group for a while before joining up here and it's a meme there that all TKD instructors are pedophiles. So like elipson said it happens in all styles.

7/26/2007 6:42am,
Not this Sensei!

Not a pedophile, but a wife beater.

7/26/2007 6:56am,
I know this is mostly a joke thread but I do have some personal experiences to share.

When I was in ke?po it was rumored that both of the female brown belts were sleeping with our Sifu which would facilitate their escalation through the ranks with a quick stop prior to reaching black belt. Seriously, in less than a year they were brown belts which is just below black but never got to the "pinnacle."

You know why they never got black belt? Well besides the fact that outside Sifus would have to test them, he also pulled a ninjer and ran off.

He left his wife, whom he was cheating on with the aforementioned brownies, and moved out of state location unknown.

However we do know that he took his adopted daughter with him. Yea, he left his wife to have a romantic relationship with his adopted daughter who had just turned legal age.

His name is T.J. Langlois, if anyone knows him PLEASE let me know he owes my family a **** ton of money for unfulfilled training obligations.

7/26/2007 8:45am,
I don't know why, but there is just some karma that they stopped at brown belt.....

7/26/2007 9:36am,
I've heard some pretty messed up stories about Aikido instructors first hand from people who knew them. Being an art of peace and blending and love and whatever doesn't really exclude them from being regular people.

7/26/2007 10:10am,
Come on.... this happens a lot?