View Full Version : Brokeback Mountin'

Pages : [1] 2

7/13/2007 3:20pm,
"First they grappled each other, then they grappled each other's hearts"


The morning air in Wyoming was thick with dew. Jack Tryst sat in his car, sipping coffee from a Gobble D's cup as he waited in front of the Jeriko Valley Fight Academy. His karate instructor, Dan Nolan, had referred him to this new dojo. Professor Nolan was moving out of town, and taking The Hopping Dragon Karate school with him.
"He's good with beginners." Dr. Nolan had said of the Jeriko Valley instructor. Jeriko Valley was a winding hour's drive from Jack's home town, but O'Dai Soke Nolan had assured Jack that it was worth the drive.

The rumbling of an engine drew Jack's attention to his rearview mirror. An antique black Ford was pulling into the parking lot. It coasted to a stop in the parking space next to his car and went dead. A strapping young man in a cowboy hat stepped out from behind the wheel and high-kicked the truck.
"Piece of ****!!" he yelled, adjusting his belt and his hat. Jack stepped out of his car and poured out his coffee onto the asphalt before tossing the empty cup back into the car. He glanced at his watch. It was 9:22.

"Hey there." Jack said, hoping he'd timed his greeting right.
"Howdy." the other guy said.
"You waitin' on Carlos?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Yep." Jack said, shielding his eyes from the sun. "Name's Jack...Jack Tryst."
He extended his hand across the hood of his car.
The other guy leaned across and shook Jack's hand. "Pennis Del Mar." he said.

Instructor Carlos Caballero arrived in his early 80's beige Mercedes-Benz just after 10:00. He stepped out of the car with a subtle flare, the kind that healthy, energetic people possess. He was short but stocky, with a dark complexion and a handlebar mustache that reminded Jack of the old 70's porn stars.

"H'lo. How're you? My name eez Carlos. I am de ZzJoo-ZzJitsoo eenstructor. Please, come een." He said in his smooth Brazilian tongue as he walked towards the door with a key in one hand and gym bag in the other. Jack and Pennis grabbed their gym bags and followed their new instructor inside.

The inside of the dojo was spotless and neat. A large portion of the floor was covered by blue jig-saw mats with a small square of red mats in the middle. Dummies lay in a neat stack in one corner, and large mirrors covered the walls on both sides of the floor. Brazilian and American flags hung from the ceiling.
"You can get suited up in de back." Carlos said, pointing to a door in the far corner of the room before disappearing into what Jack guessed was the dojo office. On the locker room door, a small plastic diamond made up to look like a yellow road sign said "Grapplers Only" and had a symbol of two men grappling on the ground. Jack smiled in amusement as he pushed through the door into the locker room.

Inside the locker room, fresh paint and metal gleamed. The signature musk was only faint, and for that, Pennis was grateful. He always fought nausea when he was in the well-worn locker rooms where legions of sweaty males had come and gone. A few posters adorned the ends of the locker rows, secured with scotch tape. Roice Says: Kracie Jiu-Jitsu is de best loomed over the head of a glaring Roice Kracie with his hands on his belt in one poster.
"Looks like somebody pissed in that guy's wheaties." Pennis said with a chuckle.
Jack glanced at the poster and grinned. His eyes met with Pennis's for a moment, and quickly fell away as he stepped out of his jeans.

7/13/2007 3:23pm,

Scuffling and grunting echoed off the dojo walls as several pairs of kimono-clad partners were free-rolling away the final thirty minutes of class. Among them were Jack and Pennis, who were engaged in a heated battle for a submission. Jack's full guard kept Pennis at bay, and Pennis made several attempts to pass and gain side control. The struggle continued for another ten minutes until Jack ended it with a triangle choke. They were about to roll again when Carlos summoned them to his office. They both looked at each other and shrugged. They left behind a sweat pool on the mat as they disappeared into the office.

"Come een, boys. Put some newspaper down before you seet in my chairs, though." Carlos said as he settled behind his desk.
A stack of old newspapers stood next to the coat rack. Jack and Pennis grabbed a few newspapers and carefully arranged them in the seats. They then straightened their kimonos and sat. Sweat dripped from both of them.

"I've been watching you boys," Carlos said. "and I've seen some amazink progress over the last few months."
"Thank you sir." Jack and Pennis said almost in unison.
"How would you boys like me to sponsor your attendance at a camp?" Carlos asked as he flipped through a file folder. He pulled out two fliers and pushed them across his desk towards Jack and Pennis. He watched their faces light up as they took the fliers.

"Wow. Roice Kracie is hosting a camp? I'll be damned." Jack said as he stared at the flier with wide eyes.
Pennis said nothing, preferring to internalize his excitement.
"Jes he is, and I'm thinking if I can get you guys in there and get you some good training, I can put you een da tournaments and stuff, no problem." Carlos said.

Pennis chewed on his bottom lip, lost in thought. He snapped to after a few moments.
"So how long is this little camp?" he asked.
"It will be for one week."
Pennis nodded his head in solemn approval.

"So what you theenk?" Carlos said with a grin. His mustache, which he had trimmed a week before, now fanned out with his smile.

"I can go, I dunno about Del Mar over here." Jack said.

Pennis rubbed his chin.
"Let me talk to my wife. I'll get back with ya on this one tomorrow. How's that?"

"Sounds good to me..." Carlos replied, still smiling.
"You boys are gonna love it."

7/13/2007 3:28pm,
oh noes.

i know where you're going with this.... but still wanna read more because of the BJJ flair.





7/13/2007 3:33pm,

Pennis tossed his bag into Jack's trunk and pulled down the lid. Jack was propped against the car, his cowboy hat tilted over his face to shield it from the rising sun. "We better hit the road pretty soon if we hope to get there by eleven." Pennis said.

The drive was a mostly silent one. The flatlands rose into mountains, and dry shrubbery grew green. Streams burst from the mountain side and hammered at the helpless land below. Jack drove with roaming eyes as the car creeped around sharp curves and up steep grades. "This is beautiful, man." he said repeatedly. Pennis kept mostly quiet.

They pulled through the camp gates with forty-five minutes to spare. A few cars were already warming in the parking lot, dew still clinging to their sides. A large metal building stood surrounded by an army of pines. A small winding trail led further into the woods.
"Check this place out..." Jack said. " We can go hikin' when we're done training!"
Pennis said nothing, only nodded his head slightly. They parked and got out, then dug out their bags and headed inside the metal building.

It was immediately apparent once they were inside that the building wasn't originally intended to be a dojo. In all actuality, it had probably been a camp unit or conference center. Jack noticed a thick stack of folded tables in one corner. On the far end of the building, a kitchen area sat unlit. The entire floor was covered with fresh new jigsaw mats. A few men stood talking, their gear bags at their feet. An official-looking guy in a button-up polo held a clipboard in his hand as he jotted down whatever a tall skinny boy was telling him. He took notice of Jack and Pennis and immediately broke away from the skinny boy and walked over, hand outstretched.

"Hi, guys. Randall Ricky!" he said, shaking their hands.
"I'm Jack."
"Pennis Del Mar."

Randall perked up at their names. "Oh, yeah! You're Coach Caballero's guys." he said. "Well, you're early, but we have a lot of people that should start trickling in here real soon. You guys just make yourself comfortable, and when everybody gets here, we'll take you all on a little tour to show you where you'll be sleeping and whatnot."

People soon began pouring in, just as Randall had predicted. At 11:30, Randall called roll, and lead them out of the building and down the path, where he showed them the bunks. "They're not the Hilton, but the closest hotel is forty-six miles from here." he said with a grin.

At noon they ate, and free-time took up a couple of hours after that. By 2:15, they all filed into the building and kicked off their flip-flops at the door and tightened their uniforms. Several men stood on the mats in their kimono, looking primed and ready. Jack immediately recognized Roice, who was admittedly taller in person. The men all greeted the camp-goers and asked them all to sit on the mat. Once everyone was seated, Roice spoke.

"Good afternoon!"
Everyone echoed him.
"I would like to welcome you all to my camp. I understand some of your instructors are sponsoring you, and some of you poor souls are footing the bill yourselves." he said. A few chuckles sounded in the crowd.
"Nevertheless, " he continued. "you are here. You are here because you want to learn everything you can about Kracie Zzjoo-Zzjitsoo and be a great fighter, or maybe become a zzjoo-zzjitsoo instructor yourself."

After a nearly twelve minute speech which included an opportunity for questions, Roice started the session. it would be another four hours before he was finished.

7/13/2007 10:26pm,
"Pennis tossed his bag into Jack's trunk " funniest line in the history of human innuendo

Don Gwinn
7/13/2007 10:56pm,
fes, have you read the "Diary of a Teen Ninja?" It was a lot funnier than this and led to the "Diary of a BJJ Teen"--also a lot funnier than this.

7/13/2007 11:07pm,
fes, have you read the "Diary of a Teen Ninja?" It was a lot funnier than this and led to the "Diary of a BJJ Teen"--also a lot funnier than this.

yeah. i'm actually a HUGE fan of Shin's work. read the Teen Ninja series (i'm following the new entries closely)....

and read the College Samurai diaries..... heartbroken when Shin let sumbuddy else take over the work. :(

i've read the BJJ Teen Diary and ADORED it... but isn't that GoldenJonas's work?

7/14/2007 1:02pm,
Is that all.....What's the punchline???

Roidie McDouchebag
7/14/2007 4:53pm,
FRAT, I would at least need to know it was funny from the description to read all that ****.

7/14/2007 8:19pm,
I liked the teen samurai one best. I cant get th3e concept of "The Love Kiai" out of my head

7/16/2007 2:58pm,

Jack and Pennis were given kitchen duty that night after the barbecue chicken dinner. Jack put away all the condiments and leftovers while Pennis took care of the trash. When it was all done, they sat and rested.
"Hell of a day." Pennis said.
Jack sighed heavily. "Got that right. Great day."
A sly grin crept across his face, and he looked at Pennis sideways. "You wanna roll?"
Pennis raised an eyebrow. "Now? Are you crazy? I'm fuckin' sore as hell from the four hours that damn machine in a gi put us through."
Jack stood up and faced him. "Well...if you can't hang..." he began.
"Oh don't you start that, you know I could tap you out in my sleep, Jack Tryst!" Pennis said.
"Bullshit you could!" Jack crowed, backing up, readying himself. "Come get you some, boy! I'll get an armbar on yer ass before you can spell Kracie!"

Pennis shot out and took Jack's legs. Jack hit the mat with a thud and they began to fight. Jack put him in full guard and held on as Pennis looked for an opening. He pushed back and attempted to pass the guard, but Jack held him tight. After several attempts, Pennis finally passed the guard and Jack ended up on his stomach. They paused for a moment.

Jack looked back at Pennis, and hooked a thumb into the waistband of his pants, pulling them down. Their eyes met. Pennis held up his palm and spat into it.

Sleep came late.

7/16/2007 2:59pm,
More Chapters to come...stay tuned.

Carpe Noctem
7/16/2007 6:56pm,
"and held on as Pennis looked for an opening"

Just wanted to quote that for brilliance.

7/16/2007 7:16pm,
omg.... this is gold.

i'm blushing.

7/16/2007 7:33pm,
hey fes, for some reason I thought you were an australian....

7/16/2007 7:37pm,
hey fes, for some reason I thought you were an australian....

i get that often. it's the accent.