View Full Version : Phil Elmore: Zombie Defense Expert

7/09/2007 9:27pm,
While I realize that I'm automatically biggest loser of the forum for even reading this, I was checking out the Zombie Squad's forums at zombiehunters.org and found a forum entitled Kung Fu is made for anti ZB (http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=18645) . Looking for hilarity, I scrolled down about five posts and who did I see? The Almighty Voice of Reason in zombie combat who breaks it down for our unfortunate noob. I of course don't approve of following people outside the bounds of Bullshido to ridicule them actively, but my god, look at what our constant derision has reduced this once proud martialist to.

As an aside, if anybody can figure out how to apply MA to slowing Zack's inexorable advance across the face of the living earth, surely it is us and not the Zombie Squad, right? I think we've finally found the one scenario in which all those TKD one-steps that culminate with a kick to the head of an opponent moving at 1/4 speed works exactly as intended.

7/09/2007 9:31pm,
I did it already...

7/09/2007 9:32pm,
Posted on this? Damn, I searched the threads for Zombie Squad to no avail. I now concede t3h fail at posting new threads.

7/09/2007 9:33pm,
No not exactly I wrote a thread about dealing with the living dead



In addition I have spent the last year researching and theorizing about how to survive a zombie uprising. With this in mind I plan to add all my newfound knowledge to my thread right before Halloween. My thread shall crawl from its grave to terrorize the boards one again!


7/09/2007 9:44pm,
I shall contribute when I see it. After playing Dead Rising for the past few weeks I find myself looking for things to bash a zombie with every time I walk into a hardware store. But now all I'll be thinking about is, "Oh no, what if Phil Elmore is somewhere doing the same thing?"

Fantasy Warrior
7/09/2007 9:46pm,
Why do I get the feeling Phil is the only adult poster on Zombie squad who is actually serious about anti-zombie tactics?

7/09/2007 10:10pm,
Why do I get the feeling Phil is the only adult poster on Zombie squad who is actually serious about anti-zombie tactics?

He may be an adult according to his birth certificate but his mentality is far from it.

Fantasy Warrior
7/09/2007 10:31pm,
Which one's playing the role of the zombie?

And why is he wearng black jeans this side of 1995???? Plus jeans must be damn sweaty for a physical activity like martial arts... no wait....

7/09/2007 10:39pm,
Exactly, Kickcatcher. Physical activity? They have probably held that pose for the last ten minutes, just feeling how each other's carpals are aligned and contemplating the stillness of the lake or whatever it is you're supposed to meditate on at times like that.

After reviewing Olorin's excellent halloween thread, I may have to retract my critique of Phil. His improvised ballpoint pen stabs to the eye and walking arsenal fashion statement may be just what the doctor ordered.

7/10/2007 12:21am,
Why do I get the feeling Phil is the only adult poster on Zombie squad who is actually serious about anti-zombie tactics?

That's why he developed his whole "Street Sword" style: so he can effectively chop off Zombie head ... :qleft2:

7/10/2007 12:42am,
Olorins zombie thread is one of the most perfect of all the internet's wonders

7/10/2007 1:29am,
Phil is my hero:
note my street armor, street sword, raised eyebrow and pastey arm. Start saving your money for my upcoming book: Street Speargun.

7/10/2007 1:33am,
The thread shows one perfect truth. Praticing with aliveness will do nothing to help you survive. True combat mastery requires drills performed with....Undeadness.