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View Full Version : Stupid things you used to believe about martial arts




Colin
5/11/2011 11:26pm,
I used to believe that Aikido had a 'ground game'.
(necro posting is ok in this forum, right?)

yli
5/12/2011 10:08am,
1.) That western boxing was useless because you didn't get to kick people.

2.) That WTF TKD was great for self defense.

3.) That krotty had nothing worthwhile in its curriculum (true to a certain extent if you learned from a McDojo).

4.) That judo was useless in a fight.

5.) That grappling in general was useless in a fight.

6.) That spinning back kicks were very useful in fights

7.) That you could successfully defend yourself against knife, stick and gun attacks empty handed if you were l33t enough.

8.) That western fencing was useless in a modern day setting.

9.) That _ing _hun was useful because Yip Man and Bruce Lee practiced it.

10.) That people who wore TapouT gear represented the highest level of MMA skills (I'm sorry, I really am.)

Zerstörer90
5/12/2011 12:37pm,
1.) That wristlock throws work against someone of your same skill level.

2.) That groundfighting was simple and ineffective against a competent fighter.

3.) That grappling wasn't a good idea in a real fight, because it often leaves you vulnerable to d34dly techniques (elbow to the back of the head, larynx crushes, neck breaks, etc.)

4.) That all TKD kicks were practical and effective against all kickers and strikers.

5.) That Steven Seagall had dignity and/or skill in martial arts.

6.) That aikido's suwariwaza was an effective groundfighting strategy

7.) That internal martial arts offered a more skillful method of fighting than "hard style".

8.) That I couldn't be tapped out by someone 70 lbs lighter than me and a foot shorter.

9.) Ninjas exist, and they will **** your **** up if you doubt their abilities.

10.) Magic pants are worth the 6-10 years of continuous uninterrupted LARPing.

11.) That Aikido's sword techniques represented "how a samurai used his sword"

12.) That you didn't have to be in good shape to be good at martial arts.

13.) That O'Sensei dodged bullets (sorry about this one, couldn't tell you now what was going through my head)

14.) That Qigong could make me invincible, or nearly enough to be able to fight crime and break open a bank vault with my bare hands (only mostly kidding here)

15.) That people who did "competition" martial arts didn't understand the realism of a real fight, and that they needed to learn teh d34d1y in order to even remotely competently defend themselves against the weakest of attackers. (This one was choked out of me last night.)

16.) That Aikido actually addressed the problem of multiple attackers, rather than running away.

I could go on and on, but I'm sure it's all been said already.

yli
5/12/2011 2:19pm,
10.) Magic pants are worth the 6-10 years of continuous uninterrupted LARPing.


But...but...Magic Pants man. Come on. I'd LARP the **** out of any martial art if they gave me a pair of cool looking parachute pants.

southstarfist
5/12/2011 7:08pm,
I used to believe that streets of rage 2 on the megadrive/genesis was effectively a sim.

I used to believe that judo was just about throwing people and was therefore easy, **** and boring.

I used to regret not having stuck with my crappy, rainbow fest of a TKD McDojang, when I was a nipper... because if I had then I would - at the time of wistful reminiscence - been an almighty, fighting god of unparallelled proportions.

Child blackbelt = stone killer/bully proof/fanny magnet (the king of ****, to our American friends).

I believed that martial arts were cool and would impress girls if they found out I trained.

ninjas.

shaolin monks.

fireballs.

levitation.



Nuff said.

Sang
5/12/2011 7:40pm,
"Size doesn't matter" was the biggest phallacy I've had to come to terms with over the years.

jdempsey
5/14/2011 5:37am,
haha, he said phallusy

farwalkermoon
5/15/2011 1:06pm,
I used to think everything my instructors said was true.
I used to think that I did not need to know any grappling because I had been taught so well I would never be taken to the ground ( boy did I find out different)
I used to think that wrist locks worked every time I want to apply them
I used to think I could apply an effective arm lock on anyone at any time
I used to think I would never get cut with a bladed weapon because I knew all the defenses against such attacks or so my first instructor told me

yli
5/15/2011 8:40pm,
11.) That the three section staff was extensively used by l33t kung fu masters as an effective killing tool on the battlefield and on the street.

12.) That Muay Thai consisted primarily of flying kicks and flying elbows with the occasional backflip throw (thanks Tony Jaa!).

13.) That Tony Jaa was an elite fighter.

14.) That Jackie Chan was an elite fighter.

15.) That Bruce Lee wasn't the ****.

16.) That Joe Lewis was/is a bitter old man (oh...wait, that's true.)

17.) That nunchaku were banned because they were highly effective at hitting people.

18.) That kung fu was automatically the best style of martial art because it had the longest history.

19.) That there were fistfights in prison (someone was trying to sell me Jailhouse Rock material).

20.) That the teachings of Ninjutsu, silly chi teachings aside, would be worthwhile to some degree.

Katriona1992
5/15/2011 11:23pm,
I used to believe the flying kick pwns all. Enough said.

RumPIrate
5/23/2011 3:05pm,
When I was six, saw a girl break cement blocks in a karate demo at our school fair. When I went home, she was chilling at my kitchen counter with my babysitter. I thought she was a super hero in the flesh.

I thought all fights were stand up

I thought shomenuchi/judo-chop was a real technique

I thought striking was wrong and technically inferior to grappling in all ways

I thought my tai sabaki would be slick enough to unbalance trained opponents

I thought street fights were a genuine measure of my skill and not a series of inexperienced punks, blowhards and children picking fights

excludedmiddle
5/23/2011 3:31pm,
11.) 15.) That Bruce Lee wasn't the ****.

And I used to believe that Bruce Lee had actually been in a fight. Also that that mysterious, undefeated British high school boxing champ, Gary Elms, actually existed and was soundly defeated by Bruce Lee's Wing Chun.

Larus marinus
5/23/2011 4:21pm,
And I used to believe that Bruce Lee had actually been in a fight. Also that that mysterious, undefeated British high school boxing champ, Gary Elms, actually existed and was soundly defeated by Bruce Lee's Wing Chun.

That boxing on TV would be better if there were energy bars/health points at the bottom of the screen so I could tell who was winning (this was when I was about 4/5 - remember asking me dad).

Evilenzo
7/11/2011 4:31am,
For about six weeks I let myself be convinced that Aikido could work against an uncooperative opponent.


Aaaaaah, another one of those masters who understand an entire MA in a few weeks. Speaking of which, i tought i could understand something other than basic movements in a couple of weeks. After all, how complicated can martial arts be compared to intellectual pursues?

I also tought that any MA would contain elements for dealing with any situation, to create a complete fighter. Cue to me becoming a Shotokan practice dummy, a Mata Leon victim and a Judo side control (please forgive me, I don't know the correct name) laughing stock.

excludedmiddle
7/11/2011 3:56pm,
i tought i could understand something other than basic movements in a couple of weeks.

Oh come on. You should at least be able to get some basic movements down after a couple weeks. If not, what the hell have you been doing in that time?

Evilenzo
7/12/2011 1:53am,
There are LOTS of basic movements...

I always demand too much from myself, i don't settle with "get some basic movements" i don't want them to look half-assed. Luckly, my goofiness is not paired with the tendency to rage-quit!