PDA

View Full Version : Berserker Viking Arts - New wave of bullshido? (Threads merged)



Pages : [1] 2 3 4 5 6

Backdraft
11/20/2006 5:04pm,
Alright, I'm sorry if this has already been asessed before, I did'nt find anything when I searched for it here.

www.vikingfighting.com

Seems to me like the bullshido hive is looking for a new angle, and this time it's vikings! They even pull the deadly argument, and this gem:



LS: Yes, OK. Speaking of beating people up – you say you can defeat anyone with BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting. Do you really think you can beat any of the professional fighters in the UFC, Pride and K1?

SS: Yes – by Thor! Those guys are just pretty boys in spandex hot pants... They don't know anything about real combat!! In the old days, the berzerkers used to rape guys like that just for fun... I'm joking, but what I really mean is – when was the last time you were attacked by someone dressed in hot pants, wearing leather gloves? And I'm not talking about your wife here! Hahaha...

LS: Well, it hasn't happened yet. So how would you fight a UFC fighter then?

SS: On the street, I'd smash his head in with my warhammer. Or maybe just have my friends surround him and then windmill and stomp him to death.

In a ring, I would cheat. You know – eye gouge, fish hook, hit the throat, bite the groin, stuff like that. A lot of people say that biting doesn't work in combat. Well, ask them again after I've bitten their nuts off! The Vikings used biting a lot – and trust me, it works!

Pretty damn awful, and really, really sad...

Bluto Blutarsky
11/20/2006 5:14pm,
If berserker viking arts involve ingesting of a healthy dose of sleipnier's dung (aka PCP) then they could train them in tiddly winks and the "berserker" would still win.

Axelton
11/20/2006 5:18pm,
sounds like a bunch of medieval reinactors have gotten drunk off their viking kool-aid.

Backdraft
11/20/2006 5:22pm,
Anyone calling themselves Grandmaster Sven S. Svensson cannot be taken seriously anyway.
It Swedish for John Smith Doe...

Dirty Rooster
11/20/2006 5:24pm,
That guy sounds great! He has a real sense of humour.

What's the problem here? (I haven't yet read the website)

Backdraft
11/20/2006 5:26pm,
Well then read the damn website.

Guys, here's a gem for you:


I AM BEST IN WORLD!!! goto top
Post in English >> Simple question from wich I know the dogmatic answer: Yes!

BY THOR!!! IF YOU KNOW ANSWER THEN WHY ASK QUESTION?!!!! TOTAL PATHETIC FOOLS LIKE YOU PISS ME OFF BEYOND NO END!!!!

IF I NOT BEST FIGHTER IN WORLD THEN WHO IS?!!! STEVEN SEGAL?!! OR MAYBE CHUCK NORIS?!! OR PERHAPS SOME PATHETIC MMA "FIGHTER" IN PINK UFC TUTU MAYBE?!!! OR WHO?!!!

I HAVE BEATEN AND HUMILIATE AND SENT TO HOSPITAL EMERGENCY WARD WITH BRAIN DAMAGE EVERY PATHETIC AND WEAK AND SCRAWNY LOSER WHO CHALLENGE AND FOUGHT ME!!! NO ONE HAVE EVER BEATEN ME EVER!!! NO ONE!!!!! EXCEPT MY FATHER BERZERKER SUPREME GRANDMASTER AND BREAKER OF BONES THOR SVENSSON!!!!

BY THOR MY FIGHT RECORD IS 499 WINS AND ONE DRAW AND ONLY TWO LOSSES!!!!

ONE LOSS WAS AGAINST FATHER THOR AND ONE LOSS WAS DISQUALIFICATION BECAUSE I DIDN'T NOT UNDERSTAND PATHETIC RUSSIA CAGE FIGHT RULES PROPERLY ENOUGH!! NO THROAT STRIKE OR BITING TO GROIN ALLOWED!!! RIDICULOUS!!! SO I LOST FIGHT BECAUSE OF PATHETIC RULE AND NOT BECAUSE BAD FIGHTING!!!! BUT RUSSIAN OPPONENT LOST HIS NUT AND GOT MUCH MUTILATED SCROTUM SO IN STREETFIGHT I WOULD BE WINNER FOR SURE!!!!!

IF YOU DONT BELIEVE I AM BEST FIGHTER IN WORLD THEN COME TO SWEDEN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!!! BY THOR I WILL SMASH YOUR UGLY FACE IN WITH MY WARHAMMER!!!! OR MAYBE JUST KILL YOU WITH A SPOON JUST FOR EXTRA HUMILATION!!!!

HAIL THOR!!!

GRANDMASTER SVEN S. SVENSSON

http://www.vikingfighting.com/ForumThread.aspx?tid=247&ps=25


To much berserker mushroom is not good mojo... And these dipshits have a school in the states!

http://www.vikingfighting.com/Schools.aspx

By Jesus! What the ****!?

Backdraft
11/20/2006 5:26pm,
I'm sorry for the double post, computer problems.

Dirty Rooster
11/20/2006 5:29pm,
""Vikings stand and fight because if you run, you'll only die tired"
-- Old viking saying"

From the webpage : proof this is just a mickeytake, and a rather good one.

Let's book grandmaster sven and his warhammer ... only $4000 plus expenses.

"ADVANCED BERZERKER™ 1: Viking Anger Management - How to Build Up a Berzerker Frenzy ($69.95)"

This is great, and it gets better ;

-Defeating punchers, kickers and grapplers

-Defeating men, women, children and old people

-Defeating animals

-Defeating other Vikings

-Defeating the ones who defeat other Vikings

I taste Monty Python ...

Epicurus
11/20/2006 5:32pm,
This site is great comedy, but it shames me to see Vikings associated with this junk. Yet another fighter who thinks that nut-biting and fishhooking will beat a trained fighter in the street...

P.S: Vikings are awesome.

Virus
11/20/2006 5:32pm,
Sounds like something one of us would write for fun. I like it.

Dirty Rooster
11/20/2006 5:37pm,
Hey Backdraft, did you write this one for fun?

Aha! Maybe Epicurus made it ... and he's posting to cover his tracks.

I'm gonna find that school, git me some nutbiting lessons.

Das Moose
11/20/2006 6:07pm,
Um..... just in case...


Are we absolutely, one hundred percent CERTAIN this isn't just a huge piss-take?

Because.... seriously. Vikings. Fucking hell.

Res Judicata
11/20/2006 6:44pm,
It's gotta be a joke.

JP
11/20/2006 6:51pm,
Seems like an awful lot of effort for a joke, at least the forum stuff does....or maybe that's running with the help of gullible people?

Either way its funny as hell and actually kinda depressing. Although the nutbiting and writing in all caps thing is pure gold.

Axelton
11/20/2006 7:00pm,
maybe medieval reinactors decided to make a website about what they do and comedically compare what they do to the UFC? maybe?

shovelbum
11/20/2006 7:22pm,
Nut biters?!:color:

I'm sure nobody here would admit to that being a small target.