View Full Version : Aleksey Vayner, t3h d34dl3y?

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10/22/2006 9:47pm,
He attached a video to his resumes..its been leaked

His resume:

And in the news
Even Forbes

I guess to most it wasn't his martial art claims that caught so much attention...

But some of this is great.

Martial Arts Instructor/Trainer 2002 present
Taught internal martial arts; student won Korean Nationals Tai-Kwon Do Championships
Assessed and treated injuries of muscular-skeletal nature with Chinese medicine
Fixed injured backs of 5 athletes on the Yale Varsity V8 Crew squad which won national finals

Martial Arts - Tai Chi Chuan master; Shaolin Kung Fu 8th Dan 2001-present
Self-Defense - Teach day-intensive workshops for women (Columbia NYU, Yale, FIT) 2004-present

Powerlifting - 1650lbs leg press (2005), 495 bench press July 2006

I love some of the entries on Wikipedia, they sound like Chuck Norris jokes..


10/22/2006 9:50pm,
I read through an article on him in Ivygate, a student e-zine. Someone posted a comment that -- before getting cut from the tennis team on the second day -- he had claimed to have killed something like 12 men in the caves of Tibet. This cat is beyond pathological.

Good times.

10/22/2006 10:09pm,
Yep, all on Wikipedia, normally I would totally think it was a parody..or some quack..but, with this guy, hes definatly the quack..and I think he claimed these things, lol.

# e claimed that he "is one of four people in the state of Connecticut qualified to handle nuclear waste".
# He was employed by both the Mafia and the CIA during his childhood.
# He gave tennis lessons to Harrison Ford, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jerry Seinfeld. He further claims to have won two games in a tennis match against Pete Sampras.
# He is a specialist in "Chinese orthopedic massage."
# The Dalai Lama had apparently written his college recommendation.
# He must register his hands as lethal weapons at airports.
# He has killed two dozen men in Tibetan gladiatorial contests.
# He claimed to be "an action star, an espionage expert, and a professional athlete. He would be on the C.I.A. firing range one day and at a martial-arts competition that took place in [a] secret system of tunnels underneath Woodstock, New York."

Sorry, forgot the IvyGate link.

Doctor X
10/22/2006 11:28pm,
. . . he had claimed to have killed something like 12 men in the caves of Tibet. This cat is beyond pathological.

Come on! I mean, like, who has not done that?


P.S. Seems like this clown should prove easy to debunk. Tennis records are kept, people do not have to "register their hands at airports"--what do they do? Put them in mittens for the duration of the flight? Confiscate them? "I am sorry, Sir, you have to put your hands in the checked-luggage."--I think he just does not expect people to contact the publicists of the likes of Harrison Ford and Pete Sampras to challenge all of this balloon juice.

10/23/2006 5:48am,
I once had a friend in one of my college classes that swore his cousin, who had a black belt in TKD, had to register with the state and carry around a license because of his 'deadly weapon' status.

I photoshopped him a phoney license for fun. Apparently the laws have changed in cincinatti recently. : )

Doctor X
10/23/2006 5:54am,
A few years ago, I was at a grading where the wife of one of the participants was a sheriff's deputy. We really . . . really . . . wanted to tell the new shodans they had to immediately go to the station to register their hands.

If she was on duty . . . maybe . . . otherwise a bunch of pissed-off deputies would have probably arrested them for stupidity.

I have often wondered the source of that urban legend.


Doctor X
10/23/2006 6:22am,
Hrrmm . . . take a moment to :hijackp: . . . Google-Fu!!

In the United States, UK, and Canada, one does not have to "register his hands":

Debunked: Boxers are required to register their hands as "lethal weapons."

Research has failed to reveal any statutory, regulatory or other requirement that boxers -- or anyone skilled in martial arts -- "register" their hands or any other body part as "lethal weapons" in the U.S., UKoGBaNI, Canada, or any other common law nation. However, a criminal defendant's experience in boxing, karate, or other forms of hand-to-hand combat may be relevant to determining various legal issues.

Legal Beagles (http://tafkac.org/faq2k/legal_2007.html)

A poster on a forum offers:

Nowhere in the world, except Okinawa, did a martial artist have to register their hands as lethal weapons. For a short time after WWII, Marines that were taking martial arts on Okinawa had to register their hands in an attempt by the military to keep these Marines from getting into fights in the bars. It didn't work, and was discontinued after just a few years...but the myth perpetuates.

Karate Forums (http://www.karateforums.com/archive/o_t/t_18070/do_black_belts_have_to_register_themselves_as_weap ons.html)

Here is an earlier reference to this:

I have read in martial arts history works (I think references by Bruce Tegner in one of his many books, and/or "John F. Gilbey", psuedonymous martial arts folklore writer) that the idea of "hands registered as lethal weapons" derived from American servicemen on Okinawa after WW II studying karate in large numbers - some of these gentlemen were enthusiastic brawlers, and the Occupation began to "register" American karate students to reduce the number of incidents.

While it is certainly true a trained boxer can be charged with "Assault with a Deady Weapon" while unarmed, and so in many states can anyone who kicks to the head (the law derives from when a head-kick, by definition, implied the kick-ee was already prone...), I have never seen a verified case (other than the occupation of Japan) where any sort of registration system of unarmed skill was in place. I would be VERY interested in a documented contradiction. In the absence of that, you can safely treat the statement "his hands were registered as lethal weapons" as a picturesque exaggeration akin to "he kicked like an Arkansas mule". Remember, even lethal weapons are rarely registered as lethal weapons.

Carol Edwards (http://listserv.muohio.edu/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9907e&L=archives&P=398)

So I call "Bullshit" on this guy's claim. Besides, how would an airport know he was "t3h d34dly?" Probably, was yelling it at the top of his lungs.


10/23/2006 6:49am,
Professional boxers must only register with their state boxing commission. It is an occupational license and must be accompanied by their doctor's statement of fitness. As stated earlier, it is not because they are "t3h d34dly".

10/23/2006 9:22am,
As I recall retired Mossad folk in Israel have to register with their local law enforcement. Which I suppose perpetuates T3h [email protected] Mossad image. This is an unconfirmed statement, I can't find anything via Google to support or deny it.


Doctor X
10/23/2006 5:07pm,
Are retired Mossad public? Methinks that would be a stupid idea.


10/23/2006 7:01pm,
I'd read about this guy, but thanks for posting the video (which I could never be bothered to look up). All I can say is


What an asshat... I almost vomited after only 2 mins of it. Is he really stupid enough to think that a top notch financial firm is going to be impressed by that steaming pile of crap? They should find whoever leaked the video and give them a medal because they've guaranteed that this retard won't be handling any of our money anytime soon.

Video resume... god. He's actually lucky anyone looked at it, because anyone sending in an 11 page cover letter should pretty much expect to be immediately discarded, unread.

Sam Browning
10/23/2006 7:40pm,
I doubt it, even when retired, Mossad case officers have been known to help out their old institution. While there may be a note of their status in their military records to explain why they are not to be called up on reserve duty, there is no way they would be stupid enough to have such a security breaking rule. BTW "By way of Deception" which is the autobiography of a Mossad officer does not mention such a rule.

Incidently I also posted a note on the Ivygate website to pitch my services in case this asshole actually sues.

Sam Browning
10/23/2006 8:32pm,
http://www.ivygateblog.com/blog/2006/10/lord_of_the_lies_aleksey_vayner_outdoes_himself.ht ml#comment-1201

Provides a list of his own martial arts claims.

10/23/2006 9:29pm,
My other exposure to western
medicine is through my brother who is the head of pediatrics at
Columbian Presbyterian hospital in NYC.

Seriously, how stupid do you have to be? I keep waiting for the "HAH! YOU ALL HAVE BEEN PUNK'D!" But I feel it will never happen..seriously..is anyone going to Yale or close? Lay a smackdown on this guy? I would pay money for this..get everything on film..plz..


I think this guy is perfect for handling nuclear waste. Who wants him procreating the race. :lol:

I wonder if its viral marketing for some sorta Borat movie type thing..I read that most people didn't know Borat was a made up character..

10/24/2006 9:05pm,
Finally had an opportunity to watch the vid.

Total douche, full of ****, and it looks like he tied his "BB" incorrectly.

I will award a cookie to the first member of Bullshido who kicks his ass and videotapes it, 2 cookies if they do a monologue at the beginning of the vid in a Vayneresque fashion.

That is all.

10/24/2006 10:48pm,
I saw your post on Ivy Blog Samuel. Do you think that they could make a case for "fair use" since it's a nonprofit site? Or does ridicule take it too far such that the courts may still find that its an infringement of Alexey's image?