PDA

View Full Version : How to pimp your black belt.



Pages : [1] 2 3 4 5 6

Virus
10/17/2006 4:48am,
Ok this could very well turn out to be a total "sirc" thread but it's worth a shot. Come up with ways, either real encouters or joke stories about how to make damn sure everyone knows that you have a black belt. For starters, the subtle suggestion can be worked into a general greeting when you meet someone new, such as;

"Hi, I'm Bob"
"Hi, my name's Jim. cough cough black belt cough"

Another alternative is to deliberatly ensure that you belt is hanging out of your gym bag that you take to work, this way someone is sure to walk behind you and say:

"Hey, you've got something hanging out of your bag"

to which you reply;

"Oh, that's just my black belt..yeah...got a black belt you see..."

Another tried and true method is to simply print your buisness card accordingly:

Jim Smith
Charterd Accountant
4th DAN BLACK BELT!!!!!

One final method is for when you are filling out important personal details on documents. When you fill in your name and the form asks you to tick one; "Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr" Simply draw a big line through them all and write "SENSEI" in big block letters.

On a serious note, this guy who works at one of the company's my workplace deals with signs all his work related emials with the signature "Sigma 6 Black Belt" LOL I just heard about that today. Another thing is a bujinkan dude I know used to train with a sensei who requested to be called "sensei" even outside of class in a social setting. I wonder if he makes reservations under that name?

Doctor X
10/17/2006 4:56am,
I saw a girl--I am not making this up--on a campus wearing regular clothes--not "workout clothes"--wearing a black belt.

I am not making that up.

--J.D.

P.S. Yes . . . she was cute.

P.P.S. We will need "pimped out" black belt pictures!!

LolodesBois
10/17/2006 5:08am,
Was the belt of any use for her ?

I mean was it used to close a jacket in which case it could of been that she just grabed the first belt she found...just trying to find a rational explanation.

People who insist on being called sensei need to be shot, I called the japanase teachers sensei but my teacher both in aikido and Yoseikan I call them by their first name and when I was young it was just 'sir'....

Doctor X
10/17/2006 5:24am,
Was the belt of any use for her ?

I mean was it used to close a jacket in which case it could of been that she just grabed the first belt she found...just trying to find a rational explanation.

Seriously . . . there was none. No rational reason whatsoever. Regular pants . . . t-shirt . . . black belt.

I was at a party . . . Christmas party . . . where dojo members refered to each other as "sempai" and "kohei." Yeah. Not making that up either.

Now . . . since:

:needpics:


I think think we can start it off with one of my favorite misuses of a black belt:

http://skepticalcommunity.com/phpbb2/uploads/fatboy.jpg

Corset

--J.D.

LolodesBois
10/17/2006 5:34am,
I had the sempai kohai thing too it made me laugh and cry at the same time.

Why don't People realise by now that japanese words are very dependant upon context and therefore should not use them outside of the dojo ?

Doctor X
10/17/2006 5:55am,
Because they are LARP'rs. They really want that artificial affirmation.

For example . . . this, according to Adidas, is the:

http://www.challengermartialarts.com/adidasgrandmaster.jpg

Grand Master Uniform

I guess there is quite market of Grand Masters!

Lots of Grand Masters on this site--check those stripies:

http://www.choikwangdo.com/newzealand_auckland_graham_lockhart_.jpg

http://www.choikwangdo.com/images/gallery/Whitfield.1.jpg

--J.D.

LolodesBois
10/17/2006 6:12am,
Hey maybe we should design a soke uniform, their's quite a market for those too !

We could have a 'aproved by the McDojo Association' logo on it ;-)

Doctor X
10/17/2006 6:41am,
I have suggested that Phrost can add to his Bandwidth and Cigar Fund by selling "Official Bullshido Black Belt" and "Sifu" and "Soke" certificates.

He can even print them off of a cheap printer/Xerox like Coda's. Put some beer glass rings on them and cigar ash burns.

All names spelled wrong.

Here is:

http://www.jukoshinryu.com.mx/noticias/eventos/imgs/shihan/soke-y-shihan.jpg

Soke and His Shihan

Searching for Sokes tend to just bring you to the World Head of Family Sokeship Council (http://www.bushido.org/whfsc/)!!!

Has someone informed the Japanese governing bodies of their nefarious plans?!! For some strange reason, it is involved with the "International Martial Arts Hall of Fame."

. . . which is just gold for Pimped Out Black Belts . . . er . . . belts . . . of . . . Grand Mastery!:

http://www.bushido.org/whfsc/sid.jpg

http://www.bushido.org/whfsc/rial43.jpg

Guess Who?!!

http://www.bushido.org/whfsc/qpic52.jpg

Yeah . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . BJJ'rs will whine . . . but . . . okay . . . have to admit they have cool belts! IF you are going to pimp, pimp with style!!

--J.D.

RDRR
10/17/2006 7:05am,
Maybe she was warming up for training? Can't do that without the dobok.

Soju_King
10/17/2006 7:18am,
http://www.oldpinetree.com/Dojo/images/exam3_full.jpg





http://www.alljapankarate.com/albums/album01/black_belt.gif

Chili Pepper
10/17/2006 9:16am,
On a serious note, this guy who works at one of the company's my workplace deals with signs all his work related emials with the signature "Sigma 6 Black Belt"

I can understand that, in the same sense that one might put other qualifications in one's business email sig (MBA, etc.). It's just a really stupid name for a program.*


*for those who haven't heard of it before, Sigma 6 is a quality-control program, akin to ISO 9000 ("Proudly making sure mistakes are done the exact same way every time!"). You can be certified to either a 'green belt' level or 'black belt' level.

GoldenJonas
10/17/2006 9:24am,
I can understand that, in the same sense that one might put other qualifications in one's business email sig (MBA, etc.). It's just a really stupid name for a program.*


*for those who haven't heard of it before, Sigma 6 is a quality-control program, akin to ISO 9000 ("Proudly making sure mistakes are done the exact same way every time!"). You can be certified to either a 'green belt' level or 'black belt' level.

Wait, so this guys business card is referirng to an IT certification and not an MA rank?

Carrera26
10/17/2006 9:30am,
Not at IT certification, but a certification in a business management process. They are actually quite hard to get, and having something like that in your job title really can open doors. Don't really know just how useful and viable it is, but there you go. Kinda like having an MBA from a corporation instead of an actual school.

Asriel
10/17/2006 9:40am,
I had the sempai kohai thing too it made me laugh and cry at the same time.

Why don't People realise by now that japanese words are very dependant upon context and therefore should not use them outside of the dojo ?
I asked my Judo instructor whether I should call him Sensei and he told me "You can call me whatever you want, you can call me prick if it makes you happy" :icon_chee

WorldWarCheese
10/17/2006 9:46am,
I asked my Judo instructor whether I should call him Sensei and he told me "You can call me whatever you want, you can call me prick if it makes you happy" :icon_chee

The new dojo sensei scares the ever lovin' **** outa me so I call him sensei or sir, but old sensei back at home? Old Geezer works. :icon_salu

sochin101
10/17/2006 9:49am,
I had the misfortune to be acquainted to a black belt who was in our organisation, and from our town. He occasionally came to gradings, classes and seminars ( never sparred, was loathe to demonstrate techniques - too deadly? Perhaps) and was known lovingly <cough> as the ginger ninja.
He'd always wear the same thing... gi bottoms (black with white stripes down the leg), black belt and loose-fitting top with elasticated waist. His m.o. was always the same. He'd tuck his black belt up under his top and his gi bottoms looked enough like normal athletic pants as to not arouse interest. So, wherever he was, he was fully disguised... until he could be sure there weren't any threats to his manliness.
After he'd established the bar/shop/school/bus stop was threat free, he'd release the ends of his belt, hook his thumbs in that shiny silk bad boy and put his "yeah, I'm a black belt" face on. Ass-hat? Yeah, utterly. Effective belt pimpage? From his perspective, totally.