View Full Version : Insight from a madman

7/02/2003 12:49pm,
I guess before I begin this story I should warn you that this is a complex narrative. It weaves throughout time, forwards and backwards, ultimately culminating in an insane frenzy of a climax.

My story begins in February. I was coming home from karate when I realized my car was nearly out of gas. Still in my gi, I decided not to risk it and pulled into the nearest gas station. No big deal, I figured. You're just going to go in, hand him a twenty, and leave. So I go into the gas station and encounter a scraggly Indian/Arabic man behind the counter. I hand him the money, he assumes a karate stance and screams at me. God. You're so fucking hilarious. You should get your own column in the Free Press. You could do observational humor like Dave Barry!

So I'm turning to leave, and he calls out after me "Hey, hey, what you do?"
"Ahh, karate. What kind of karate?"
"*nods* Hey, hey, they teach Judo there?"
"You sure? I did judo, a lot of throwing..."
At this point the gentleman begins to describe Judo in great detail, running through a checklist of Judo attributes just to be ABSOLUTELY SURE that what I was doing was not, in fact, Judo in a clever disguise.

The conversation was creepy and surreal enough to keep me away from that gas station for a while. But guess whose car was running on E last night? Yeah, that's right. Bonus points for guessing who nervously approached the gas station hoping that crazy had the night off, and who ended up being very disappointed.

Our conversation started basically the same way (apprently he didn't recognize me), but this time he gave me a little advice, and I will cherish this for the rest of my days:

You know what is best? The best thing you can do? Kung-fu. For, for your-self...body, your spirit, helping your mind...best thing you can do.

Thanks, Crazy Man, and Godspeed.


7/02/2003 1:03pm,
Excuse me but why is he such a crazy man? It sounds like he kinda liked you and wanted to get a little romo.

On another note, you walk around with your GI on? That's kinda funny, it's like when I see all the Mommies bringing their kids to Karate classes.

Edited by - balloonknot on July 02 2003 13:04:24

7/02/2003 2:22pm,
boyd, you are so full of shitt it's cumin out ya ears. your a friggin story tella.


you may fool everybody else, BUT NOT ME.

"When attacked insult, and insult to kill"

7/02/2003 2:25pm,
he fooled me...and i am you. But, he did not fool you.

A monk once asked me "Do you like the man?" When i told him i did not understand he repeated. Then he got upset. "The man?" Maybe he means the same man.

Objects in life are closer than they appear

To each according to his need, from each according to his ability...of course, you'll probably have to beat it out of him

7/02/2003 6:05pm,
I told you Balloonknot, I was out of gas. I never change out of my gi because it's comfortable and class ends relatively late at night.


7/02/2003 6:21pm,
i was thinking this would turn out to be some kinda porno

it always is with you Boyd you stud!

Hard work, Patience, Dedication.

7/02/2003 6:39pm,
Me: "Hey man, I'm out of...gas. You think you could fill me up?"

Attendant: "Oh, I've got everything you want right here! *begins fondling phallic-looking nozzle*"

(Gas station attendant pumps my car full of gas; I pay him and drive off)



7/02/2003 7:11pm,
I agree with Jamoke.
You obviously made up the story about walking around in public in your gi, running out of gas and talking to a creepy guy just to make yourself look COOL!

You are not fooling anyone.

El Guapo says, ""You can buy muscles, but you can't buy COJONES!"

7/03/2003 4:55am,
"Me: "Hey man, I'm out of...gas. You think you could fill me up?"

Attendant: "Oh, I've got everything you want right here! *begins fondling phallic-looking nozzle*"


Fighty McGee
7/08/2003 10:20am,
Boyd, walking around in your gi is a sure way to get into a confrontation.

7/08/2003 10:30am,
Sounds very believable to me, I can't see any reason why it would be made up.

Space may be the final frontier,
But it's made in a Hollywood basement.

Geek Kune Do
7/08/2003 11:36am,
you aren't thinking about pulling a Gracie move and beat up the guy.

This was from an old post... you might be a BJJer if..

you beat up gas station workers

"Ya can't play with my YO-YO!!!"