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matzahbal
6/27/2003 12:03pm,
June 26, 2003 - Hawaii - Police responded to a disturbance today after the clerk, Daniel LaRusso called in to report a fight at the 7-11 he was working at. A fight broke out between sixteen-year-old girl Rebecca Smith and a unidentifiable male.

According to clerk LaRusso and other patrons of the convenience store, an altercation broke out when a very effeminate male voice screamed out "I wanted the last donut" after Smith took it out of the display case.

"We heard 2 people talking very sternly, and then all of a sudden I heard very shrill screaming," said a patron who didn't give her name "I thought, 'My stars that grown man is attacking a small girl', and when we turned and looked we saw the girl launch a round house kick to the man's nose that brought him to the ground, oh, blood was everywhere. Me and my son were both shocked to find that the screaming was actually the man."

According to the police report, Smith stated that she did indeed take the last donut from the display case and was on her way to check out when a man stopped her. She claims that he said he was a world renowned SCARS fighter, and that he was taking a break from posting the most ridiculous stories he can find on the internet that have anything to remotely due with a martial artists or a discription of a martial arts move, and then demanded she hand over the donut. When she commented on how truly sad that was he got frustrated and started to scream and advanced on her.

"I didn't want to hurt him" Smith said, "after all, I do hold the advance belt rank of Camouflage from my local Tae Kwon Do school. But after he scratched me with his finger nails I felt it that I had to protect myself, so I kicked him." Smith then told us that after the assailant got his balance back he started to scream and cry "I know SCARS, I know what the navy seals know" while flailing his arms in the air. Then the man picked up his purse and ran out of the store. Police weren't able to get a clear description of the man because of all the mascara that was smeared on his face from the blood and tears.

Police won't be falling up with charges since the stores video tape clearly show the man attacking Smith first and she decided not to press charges herself.

"But some apes they gotta go, so we kill the ones we don't know" - 'Ape shall never kill Ape' by The Vandals

Edited by - matzahbal on June 27 2003 12:05:55

Fisting Kittens
6/27/2003 12:08pm,
Daniel LaRusso???????? God what a wuss. You'd think the karate fucking kid could have handled it.

---------
Shut up and train

gojuJKDdude
6/27/2003 12:18pm,
Very good matzah!! You had me going for a while.

PizDoff
6/27/2003 2:59pm,
ahhahahahahhahahaha!!!!!

--
Hard work, Patience, Dedication.
http://www.fightauthority.com/

Balloonknot
6/27/2003 3:02pm,
See my scars story also.... Word up matza!!

Mr. Nice Guy
6/27/2003 3:37pm,
Those damn donuts, they'll get you into trouble every time....

MrMcFu
6/28/2003 4:32am,
oh that is good . . . . I can't stop laughing

http://www.zanshin-dojo.de

Jamoke
6/28/2003 11:24am,
i have to say MATZ, as much as i cant stand you, you out did yourself on this one. not bad.

"When attacked insult, and insult to kill"

ClintEQ
2/04/2004 9:48pm,
This is classic. Why was the thread so small?

Jenfucius
2/04/2004 9:56pm,
that was hilarious!!!

Shuma-Gorath
2/04/2004 10:07pm,
Yay for forum necromancy!

I picked it up at the Daniel LaRusso bit.

Pandinha
2/04/2004 10:16pm,
Excellent. Well done.

FingerorMoon?
2/04/2004 10:47pm,
Silly stylist.

Prone
2/05/2004 3:01am,
ROFL, camouflage belt: classic

MrMcFu
2/05/2004 3:30am,
Damn I'm glad I bought that zombie back . . . I always wondered why noone busted on this one.

TaeBo_Master
2/05/2004 3:59am,
Heh I also picked up the gag at the mention of Daniel-san.

And in regards to the camo belt.... sadly some TKD schools actually DO have a camo belt. When my friend took ATA TKD he had one... far as I know it's still in his closet.