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HAPKO3
6/26/2003 1:53pm,
DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - 25 June 2003


KUNG FU LION -- Unconfirmed Darwin Award

1980s, Australia | A rather impressionable student of kung fu listened
with rapt attention when his instructor dramatically informed the class,
"Now that you have reached this level in your training, you can kill wild
animals with your bare hands!"

The martial arts trainee took the statement as gospel, and headed to the
Melbourne zoo to test his mettle with the wildest animal of all: the lion.
In the dead of night, he slipped into the zoo, leapt into the lion
enclosure, and challenged a suitable king of the jungle in combat.

He would probably have lost a one-on-one fight, but he never got to try.
His naive fight plan didn't account for the enthusiasm of the lion's pride
for a tender intruder; nor did it give sufficient weight to the
possibility
that his instructor didn't konw what the hell he was talking about.

Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands -- the following
morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly in his fingers.


------------------------
I remain, Hapko3

PizDoff
6/26/2003 2:10pm,
omg don't tell me you subscribe to that crap?

--
Hard work, Patience, Dedication.

www.despair.com

Balloonknot
6/26/2003 2:12pm,
Now if Kungfoolss posted this I could see a point.

PizDoff
6/26/2003 2:26pm,
"omg don't tell me you subscribe to that crap?"
btw a lot, rather probably most of the stuff on the website is made up bullshit, not even amusing

--
Hard work, Patience, Dedication.

HAPKO3
6/26/2003 2:28pm,
Osiris, off course it's bullshit.

I still find it rather amusing, though...

------------------------
I remain, Hapko3

PizDoff
6/26/2003 2:34pm,
http://www.ebaynham.com/Merchant2/graphics/skbl_sm.gif


:)

--
Hard work, Patience, Dedication.

SifuAbel
6/26/2003 5:25pm,
If this is true , I have only one hope..........
............that he didn't breed.

TheHungsta
6/26/2003 5:55pm,
i wanna see a BJJ fighter or an MT fighter fight a lion... lol. Wrestling with lions... that would be entertaining.

MuayThaiBri67
6/26/2003 6:04pm,
i wanna see a BJJ fighter or an MT fighter fight a lion... lol. Wrestling with lions... that would be entertaining.

Ok.......I'll fight a lion, but you didn't say I had to use Muay Thai. So I'll use the ancient martial art of Gun-Fu for this situation.

Sensei Mak
6/26/2003 6:26pm,
same thing happened to me once

Mr. Nice Guy
6/26/2003 10:52pm,
Osiris:
"Thats bullshit. Arms and hands only? Lions eat bone?"

Yeah, they can, especially nice, tender modern human bones. Their jaws are powerful enough to crack them into a coarse powder. The long bones especially contain some very nutritious material, marrow and calcium carbonate, which a large cat's digestive tract can melt down pretty easily.

I'm not saying that the story isn't bullshit, but a pack of very large carnivores (lions, tigers, grizzly or polar bears, the biggest sharks, etc.), sometimes even one if it was really big and really hungry, could completely consume an average sized human.



Edited by - Mr. Nice Guy on June 26 2003 22:55:29

Kungfoolss
6/27/2003 2:20am,
i wanna see a BJJ fighter or an MT fighter fight a lion... lol. Wrestling with lions... that would be entertaining.


Years ago in Japan, some judoka flipped or threw a bear that had surprised and attacked him, after tossing the bear off him twice, the bear ran off into the woods. I imagine the bears in Japan aren't nearly as large as their counterparts in America or it may have been a juvenile.

Kungfoolss
6/27/2003 2:26am,
DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - 25 June 2003


KUNG FU LION -- Unconfirmed Darwin Award

1980s, Australia | A rather impressionable student of kung fu listened
with rapt attention when his instructor dramatically informed the class,
"Now that you have reached this level in your training, you can kill wild
animals with your bare hands!"

The martial arts trainee took the statement as gospel, and headed to the
Melbourne zoo to test his mettle with the wildest animal of all: the lion.
In the dead of night, he slipped into the zoo, leapt into the lion
enclosure, and challenged a suitable king of the jungle in combat.

He would probably have lost a one-on-one fight, but he never got to try.
His naive fight plan didn't account for the enthusiasm of the lion's pride
for a tender intruder; nor did it give sufficient weight to the
possibility
that his instructor didn't konw what the hell he was talking about.

Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands -- the following
morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly in his fingers.


I'm not so certain if this story is BS or not, I posted a similar post in the past covering this exact same incident. Albeit, without the gory details. I believe it stated the individual was mentally unsound.

Kungfoolss
6/27/2003 2:55am,
This incident can't be substantiated or perhaps it's just an internet rumor, but knowing stylists as I do, I suspect there must be some semblance of the truth here (as was reported in the "Those Wacky martial artists" thread)-

The Nature Documentary

The vast difference between the post-modern virtual concept of the big cat and the real thing was made obvious to television cameras at The Royal Melbourne Zoo, when a car company arranged as part of a publicity event to place a new model car in the lion enclosure.

However a collision between our hyper-real concept and the actuality of the lion occurred as the lions began to tear at the car, removing the bumper bar and puncturing the thin metal body of the car with their diamond sharp teeth. The image of a heavily damaged car complete with the feline perpetrators left us asking, “If that is what those creatures can do a car, then what damage could be done to the human anatomy?”

This was not the first time there had been such an impact between the hyper-real big cat and the reality of life in this lion enclosure. Several years ago a young man scaled the walls of the enclosure in an attempt to confront the lions in unarmed combat. The individual believed that he was a Ninja warrior, a member of the Japanese order of assassins which has taken on iconic standing in popular culture. The Ninja is an ancient emblem of the detached individual, operating on the dark periphery of society, and has gained a cultural resonance
with some young detached individuals in the West. Here were two hyper-real concepts, the symbolism of the Ninja and the mighty lion synthesised in a tragic accident, which ended with the death of a marginalised and disturbed young man.

SLJ
6/27/2003 3:17am,
I'll bet that's true.

lol, what a nutter.

----------------------------------------------------------
Space may be the final frontier,
But it's made in a Hollywood basement.

Stold3
6/27/2003 3:27am,
It's a shame nature didn't give humans big pointy teeth and sharp claws--Oh wait, nevermind, nature gave humans sub machine guns and rocket propelled grenades.