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Kengou
5/08/2006 7:55pm,
I get home from BJJ class tonight (yay I'm hardcore) and there's a message on the answering machine. This guy says he represents Grandmaster Christian Harfouche, and I was referred to him as a martial artist, and to call him back. I'm thinking "wtf?" so I give the guy a call.

I asked him how I got referred to him or by whom, and he said he didn't know by whom, but I was on some referral list. He says he's a "Recruiter" for his organization. He then starts talking to me about Shorite Ryu Taijutsu, which of course Harfouche founded and is the grandmaster of. He asks me if I crosstrain, and then told me how Shorite Ryu is the "style of styles" and that it is a combination of many other martial arts. He listed Karate, Taekwondo, Budo Taijutsu, Chinna, and Kyokushin (he pronounced it Kai-oh-ku-shin) among other styles that make up the curriculum for Shorite Ryu.

At this point I'm trying not to let him hear my muffled laughter through the phone. I have actually heard of this guy before. He has an ad in Black Belt Magazine (which thankfully my subscription just ran out on). Obviously that can't be good. So I ask them how they train (standard Bullshido questions). The guy says they train sending out DVD sets so that people can train at home, "hopefully with a partner," and earn a nationally accredited black belt ranking. He never talked about anything like training methods (i.e. sparring, live rolling, conditioning, etc.) He also mentioned that some big name martial artists were affiliated with his organization. The only one I recognized was Carlos Machado, with whom Harfouche is apparently training right now. Yeah, I was surprised too.

So this guy is still trying to recruit me, right, so he says that after I get accredited, I can become a teacher of the style (accredidation is achieved via testing by mail remember) once they establish a dojo in my area. Ubsurd.

Finally we get to the prices. The guy starts going on about how the normal price is $599.99 for the whole set of advanced black belt instructional dvd courses. However, since I'm a special referral I can get it for the low-low price of only $520. Wow what a fantastic deal! And if I acted now, I could get mr. Harfouche's personal library, which consisted of some chinna and karate DVDs as well as the shorite ryu thing. For over $600. I was cracking up at this point (and throughout most of this conversation), but not wanting to be rude, I told him I was interested (technically I was, this was a very interesting if bullshit thing that was happening) but that I wanted more information and I would check out his website. That was the end of that call.

So the website he gave me is http://www.victorioushands.com/vfront.asp?ID=2 I didn't bother searching but I'm going to guess that Harfouche has been discussed here before. If not then have fun guys.

MajinFajita
5/08/2006 7:57pm,
Man, I just got home from work to witness this LOL-acaust...

From the website: Translated as "victorious hands body arts,".....

Enough said.

BoardHitBack
5/08/2006 7:59pm,
So many Grandmasters, so little time.

Testing by mail? Again? How many jokers do this?

Irrelevant...
5/09/2006 12:55am,
i need to get a video camera and some friends together maybe some ninja masks definitly need alot of chi and create and sell a mysterious new style through the mail. for the low low price of $500
if you guys are interested i will cut you a break $499

capnhater
5/09/2006 2:53am,
Wow. Just wow.

Acronym hell. F.I.G.H.T.I.N.G. (Floating, Intercepting, Giving, Holding, Throwing, Invading, Nullifying and Grappling) was funny but by the time he got to S.T.O.P and R.E.AL.I.T.Y. I was ready to puke on my shoes.

I made it halfway through the first of Full Body Boxing videos before I couldn't take it anymore. Just one more guy out to show that anyone can be an asskicker against a slowly moving, non-resistive opponent.

Asriel
5/09/2006 3:13am,
http://www.victorioushands.com/images/h3.jpg

I knew I'd seen this guy before somewhere, then it hit me...

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000399WS.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

HwangJangLee
5/09/2006 9:03am,
hahahaha, there eyes look the same. what a dope.

Bob the Ninja
5/09/2006 11:32am,
I don't know about y'all, but I'd like to train for life and multiply my fighting ability...by at least 4, I think. Don't forget the bonus choking videos. Oh, and you can get it all on VHS for $100.00 less!! What a bargain! I'm in the wrong business...

WunHungLo
5/09/2006 12:15pm,
Isn't that a Shorinji Kenpo getup he's wearing??? Twenty bucks says he refers to himself as a yamabushi, and claims to have learned his skillz from a clan of tengu living on Mt. Fuji.

plasma
5/09/2006 12:22pm,
I don't know about y'all, but I'd like to train for life and multiply my fighting ability...by at least 4, I think. Don't forget the bonus choking videos. Oh, and you can get it all on VHS for $100.00 less!! What a bargain! I'm in the wrong business...

Bob. Please remove Ninjitsu from your Style field. You don't do Ninjitsu.

Bob the Ninja
5/09/2006 1:13pm,
Sorry, but I'm taking classes in Ninjitsu...just started. Should I not put it here? Didn't know, if not.

Scut Farkus
5/09/2006 1:15pm,
Bob-
I'm from your area. Where do you train? Quest Center?

Bob the Ninja
5/09/2006 1:22pm,
Yep, that's it...and you?

Scut Farkus
5/09/2006 1:35pm,
I'm always looking for people to spar and roll with. If you think you might be interested in getting together sometime, PM me and we'll discuss more.

Cymro
5/09/2006 2:05pm,
I smell the beginnings of an NC throwdown.

I wonder if the 'no-call' list rules apply to McDojos...

Scut Farkus
5/09/2006 2:16pm,
Maybe we can hook it up. You in?