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TekkaMaki
11/18/2005 9:23pm,
So, I think it's unfair that only this Clausen character gets to have his own virtual "full contact no holds barred" tournament. In fact, I feel hella left out. So I want one too.

As 327th degree grand master and founder of the Hadouken Ryu Karate Do, I had to defend my honour in the recent event. Yep, sure did.

Over the course of three days I defeated over seventy-five opponents.

Among my tougher opponents were a crack addict, a bear, a hippo with emotional problems, a Ford F-150 and a 40th degree black belt in the art of smith and wesson.

The crack addict felt no pain, even when I unleashed my patended Ninja Death Poke. I defeated him with a side kick to his knee, which snapped his leg in half.

The bear tried to ground and pound me, but luckily, as we all know, groundfighting has no base in reality. Luckily, as soon as his knees touched the ground, he exploded.

The hippo tried to take out his anger at his parents on me. Caught inside his huge, crushing jaws I had no choice but to teleport out of his mouth using my magic powers and poke him in the eye. This eye poke rendered him defenseless, and he rolled around on the ground clutching his face while his corner threw in the towel.

Finally, in spite of suffering seven gunshot wounds, I was able to take out the S&W master with a jump spinning outside crescent kick. this only worked because he was riding a horse at the time.

The rest of my opponents were simply fodder for my unbeatable chi blasts.

Among my injuries were a busted tooth from a well placed finger strike, a bruise on my nose from a punch and a broken leg. Luckily, using my karate powers I was able to fight even with this injury.

Go ahead, discuss.

Arde
11/18/2005 9:47pm,
I don't know whether to feel sorry or be scared of myself that I got tingled by the avatar.

albert
11/18/2005 9:49pm,
Uh...that looks like that pro-wrestler (http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=273041) from Hustle about to set up a Hard Gay Triangle Choke on the little girl.

Chuanfa Tom
11/18/2005 9:50pm,
what's the punchline?

Azteca
11/18/2005 9:55pm,
I shall discuss once I stop laughing.

Arde
11/18/2005 10:00pm,
Yikes....now that's just creepy.... Rocky Horror Picture Show creepy.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
11/18/2005 10:16pm,
a Ford F-150

Aw! What a cute little truck!

xingyifa
11/18/2005 10:35pm,
I would like to state that had I been present at this tournament of craptastic disaster, my kung fu chi powers would have defeated your wimpy ninja powers. In fact, I probably would have gotten no touch KO's on the bear and hippo, while the crappy ford would have been choked out (darth vador style) sometime during the first round.

so ummmmm.... BJJ wins again!

TekkaMaki
11/19/2005 2:31pm,
Uh...that looks like that pro-wrestler (http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=273041) from Hustle about to set up a Hard Gay Triangle Choke on the little girl.

Indeed, it is. HARD GAY FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

You have this article to thank. (http://http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher86.html)

SFGOON
11/20/2005 2:20pm,
When you fought the hippo, did ninjas come rushing to his defense, wailing hard on guitars? I've heard somewhere they do that.

Azteca
11/20/2005 2:28pm,
Hey TekkaMaki did you use the LARP or D20 system to wail on your opponents?

TekkaMaki
11/20/2005 3:55pm,
When you fought the hippo, did ninjas come rushing to his defense, wailing hard on guitars? I've heard somewhere they do that.

The ninjas had hardcore guitar skills. One of them did a solo that nearly exploded my head.

Luckily, I was able to deflect the sonic waves with my magic chi powers and cause his head to explode instead. It was amazing.

TekkaMaki
11/20/2005 3:57pm,
Hey TekkaMaki did you use the LARP or D20 system to wail on your opponents?

Because I am a lv. 99 ninja all my attacks do 9,999 HP of damage. Especially since I have my ultimate weapon and an accessory which gives me +40 strength.

And my limit break hits 25 times.