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Wounded Ronin
2/06/2005 10:48pm,
Today, I resolved to go outside and wander around the French Quarter and see what Mardi Gras is like there. In the interests of being an economical rebel, rather than get ripped off at the bars I got a sandwich and some malt liquor from a grocery store and spent less than 5 dollars on refreshments for the evening. Booyah.

Anyway, Bourbon Street was greasy. You could slide you foot back and forth across it and it would feel slick. Beads were all over the ground, and drunken tourists were everywhere. On one end of Bourbon street was even a cluster of gay clubs. They had muscular barechested men and such flamingly gay music that I had to repress the urge to burst out laughing.

There were many women (and men) flashing in order to get cheap 2 cent plastic beads thrown down to them. There were also lots of cops everywhere who were apparently there to stop fights and things like that but who didn't seem to care about flashers. Some of the flashers were plump middle aged people, and some were younger. Some people must be really repressed because they were way too serious about videotaping the breasts and flopping penises. I simply was gently reminded that breasts are fun objects. I think that it's important to approach them with a degree of philosophical detachment so as to best enjoy them while appreciating the humor and absurdity of the situation.

At one point a drunk middle aged overweight female tourist stumbled and started to fall. I was right next to her, so reflexively I caught her and prevented her from hitting the ground. Then, I tried to hoist her back up, but she was too heavy! I was surprised, because when I used to play judo I didn't really have any problem pulling people up after throwing them. Considering I could successfully help people up who weighed like 250 pounds, she must have been in the 300 pound range. To be fair, I was also in an akward position on slippery ground, which also made it harder. After about thirty seconds of my not being able to lift her back to her feet, her friend came and helped me, and we were able to tilt her upright again. She gave me a hug.

I also took the time to chat with two fundamentalists. Fundamentalist christians were all up and down Bourbon street, going on about fornication, hell, and Jesus. I asked one why he felt that Bourbon street was evil, given that it's essentially a giant banal tourist trap. He replied saying how commercialism, drunkenness, and breasts are evil. Furthermore, he told me that every year women get "raped in the alleys" and people are so drunk they "fall off the floats" and die. That dosen't sound too factually likely, considering how cops are all over the place, there aren't very many alleys in the French Quarter, and how I have never even heard of a single parade-related fatality involving drunk people falling off of floats. At this point I politely excused myself.

The other fundamentalist I chatted with was a guy who had a sign saying that he would interpret dreams. I decided to have a little fun and approached him asking him if he was a Freudian or a Jungian, waiting for a chance to rhetorically bust his chops by busting out the Jung quote where he calls dream intepretation for the general public "pure foolishness". But he told me that instead he was all about interpreting dreams in a Biblical way, just like Daniel. I nodded politely and he went on for a while telling me about how the bible is true and so on, and after a while I politely excused myself.

Then I got tired, so I went home, but decided to write this up.

Te No Kage!
2/07/2005 10:56am,
funny, I forgot about the fundamentalists.... were they carrying big crosses like they normally do?

Wounded Ronin
2/07/2005 1:21pm,
funny, I forgot about the fundamentalists.... were they carrying big crosses like they normally do?


Heh heh heh, you bet. One was even doing a Jesus-bearing-the-cross pantomime with his.

katana
2/07/2005 1:45pm,
Way to economize on the refreshments BTW. You should really try out a handgrenade next time and chase it down with some hurricanes. That should keep you going all night.

Say, you didn't happen to see a 140lb bouncer there dodging bottles and throwing toughies around while running between five different strip clubs did you?

Te No Kage!
2/07/2005 2:24pm,
I really like hand grenades, and you really can't go to the French quarter without going to Pat O'Brien's and getting a hurricane

Wounded Ronin
2/07/2005 3:19pm,
Way to economize on the refreshments BTW. You should really try out a handgrenade next time and chase it down with some hurricanes. That should keep you going all night.

Say, you didn't happen to see a 140lb bouncer there dodging bottles and throwing toughies around while running between five different strip clubs did you?

I guess I'll save up a little and splurge for the handgrenade and hurricanes, since you recommend doing that.

And the funny thing is, I was looking around for Dan Webre but didn't see him. What with all the cops around, I don't think he'd really be able to get away with eyeball ripping and crap like that on Bourbon STreet even if he were there. :laughing7

jaychiu
2/07/2005 3:27pm,
I love how the Fundamentalists signs of "Repent!" have to compete with the signs for "Big Ass Beers!" on Bourbon Street.