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afronaut
1/28/2005 4:07pm,
This was posted by that weeine Tourist, who feels the need to mention how butch and biker-y he is like teenage boys need to mention how many chicks they've scored with.

In a thread RE: improvised weapons


I agree with using your boots. If I could only choose one, I would choose my Harley boots over a knife. Then again, there is sharp metal on my Harley boots that is more dnagerous than a knife.

Come to think if it, my Harley boots are the most beautiful thing in the world. Except my Harley. Harley. Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap.



Don't forget items that have have weight for blunt trauma. Most furniture is good, and keeps the aggressor at bay; if he can't hit you, he cannot hurt you, and basically his black belt holds up his pants.

He's totally right. Heavy objects make great weapons. Last week a Black Guy was staring at one of OUR women and I hit him with a gravel pit.

And the black belt diss? What the hell?


I also like coffee pots. If you get attacked in a diner, smack your opponent with a glass coffee pot, either the black rimmed one or the orange rimmed one will do. Nothing stops a guy faster than shards of glass in burning blisters.

The average PB member will spend time pondering the following questions:

What if I get attacked in a diner? What if I can't get to my three guns and 12 knives? Can either color coffee pot be used?

Tourist is here to help.


An aggressor knows pool cues are good for hitting. Fool him, poke him in a soft spot.

Or eviscerate him with withering rhetoric. That hurts too.


(The information offered here is for recreational purposes only, and does not reflect the editorial policy of The Retired Motorcyclists of America or the Southwest Agave Cactus Producers. Although the thought of some caffeine burnt townie with blue chalk on the front of his Dockers after being jammed in the 'nads does invoke a humorous image.)

I beat up college boys. Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Onny
1/28/2005 4:22pm,
I made one post on that forum. it was in a thread entitled "The Hypocrisy Of Michael Moore". In it, Phil called Michael Moore "torpid". I posted and said that you could hardly describe Michael Moore as being in any way "apathetic" (for this is the meaning of torpid). Phil replied that he meant that he was big and fat, "like jabba the hut".

..

I declined to comment. But Christ, I was tempted.

Scrapper
1/28/2005 4:26pm,
I really hate the Tourist.
The sad irony is that I am wearing Harley boots right now. Perhaps I should go see him and "improvise?"

Seriously, if there is one PB member I would love to throwdown with, it'd be that guy. Mostly becasue I am friends with a TON of bikers, and he is exactly the type of guy they all HATE.

Poop Loops
1/28/2005 4:43pm,
If you have time to get to a coffee pot during a fight, then you must be fighting crippled 5-year-olds.

PL

Phrost
1/28/2005 4:45pm,
My father-in-law is an old-school, ex-Vietnam vet Biker. I've never once heard him try and talk about how tough he is, much less in relation to anything to do with being a biker or bike culture.

Wounded Ronin
1/28/2005 4:48pm,
But he did talk about how it's important to always be thinking about quick access to the coffee pots when you go to the diner, right?

Chronomorte
1/28/2005 4:58pm,
Why am I suddenly reminded of:

Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress (spitefully): You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.

cue - PE grabs the orange coffee pot and slays everyone heroically

bwerb
1/28/2005 5:01pm,
There is a great quote from a Harley Davidson Executive in "Results Based Leadership" (I'm sure you all subscribe).

"What we sell is the ability for a 43 year old accountant to dress in black leather, ride through small towns and have people be afraid of him."

That pretty much sums up the bullshido quotient.

afronaut
1/28/2005 5:29pm,
I really hate the Tourist.
The sad irony is that I am wearing Harley boots right now. Perhaps I should go see him and "improvise?"

Seriously, if there is one PB member I would love to throwdown with, it'd be that guy. Mostly becasue I am friends with a TON of bikers, and he is exactly the type of guy they all HATE.

He's begging for a trolling.

RoninPimp
1/28/2005 6:36pm,
I still say this is the wannabe phemomenon. Whether your talking RBSD, TMA, yuppie Harley riders, volunteer firefighters, aux police, Civil Air Patrol. Mostly harmless geeks. Sometimes they even do something positive, but mostly they just play pretend.

Didn't every neighborhood have one of the geeks with a scanner in their ear trying to direct traffic around the car accident or house fire? Mine sure did. Maybe it's just a Bawlmer (Baltimore) thing...

SamHarber
1/28/2005 6:57pm,
**** em all. I made one post, describing the British attitude to guns and the reasoning behind it, and the fuckers deleted it within minutes.
Amusingly, I'm not actually anti-gun for americans.
I just don't think they can handle dry sarcasm well.

JohnnyCache
1/29/2005 3:36am,
Oh, of course, the idea that British people might have an opinion about British law isn't objectivist, Sam. Besides, British people can't do nuttin in the street - they ain't got no eyebrows or glasses.

lifetime
1/29/2005 6:53am,
This strangely reminds me of the time that one of the people here suggested blinding attackers with table salt.

Jekyll
1/29/2005 7:11am,
I made one post on that forum. it was in a thread entitled "The Hypocrisy Of Michael Moore". In it, Phil called Michael Moore "torpid". I posted and said that you could hardly describe Michael Moore as being in any way "apathetic" (for this is the meaning of torpid). Phil replied that he meant that he was big and fat, "like jabba the hut".

..

I declined to comment. But Christ, I was tempted. You were both wrong. Sorry.

Still at least you're not a fat hypocrite.

Definition

torpid [Show phonetics] (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?dict=CALD&key=83885&ph=on)
adjective FORMAL
not active; moving or thinking slowly, especially as a result of being lazy or feeling like you want to sleep:

Lampa
1/29/2005 1:18pm,
I would like to note how amused I am by the specification that both the orange and black rimmed coffee pots will do. This implies extensive testing in breaking both colors over people's heads to see if the same results are produced.

"Day 6: The color of the plastic between the spectrum of black and orange has had little effect on the results. However, yellow rimmed pots of hot coffee has caused a significant amount of subjects to report feeling "refreshed" and "invigorated" by the experience. Further study is required."

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
1/29/2005 3:47pm,
Day 6: The color of the plastic between the spectrum of black and orange has had little effect on the results.

There is no black on the spectrum of visible colors, so you can't say "Between the spectrum of black and orange.".

Silly goose.