View Full Version : Ninja Training Videos

1/27/2005 9:35pm,

I didn't install the active-X program to run the actual videos but these look like they could be entertaining.

Some descriptions:

Hand Claws: At some point in their life, every single Ninja will go flying up the trunk of a conifer tree and fire an arrow into another man's eye. These are for that.

Ninja Patch: If a Ninja doesn't have one of these, he's full of **** (not a ninja) so don't listen to him or be scared of fighting him.

A Ninja won't kill people with this. He'll use it to shoot an arrow attached to a rope, then climb to where the people are, then kill them.

Evolution can't keep pace with the Ninja. Instead of waiting millions of years to grow his own special foot claws, he straps on artificial ones right fucking now.

Let's just say that if a Ninja starts swinging this thing around, in a pet store for instance, every single pet would be killed in five seconds.

1/27/2005 9:57pm,
Acrobatics, dead patterns, XMA bullshit, and some rock climbing. None of those fucks could kill time, let alone anything else.

I didn't se anything in those vids that your local TKD school couldn't do jsut as well.

Wounded Ronin
1/27/2005 11:18pm,
Dude, it's a joke site.

Breakfast Fox
1/28/2005 1:40am,
The acrobatics were pretty cool...

1/28/2005 10:07am,
I have to admit, that stuff looked like fun! Rock climbing, scaling walls, zip line, attacking unarmed sentries. It looks like it would be a happy time ninja fun camp!

1/28/2005 10:18am,
"Take a Trident. Shrink it down. Then make the thing in the middle longer. This is a Sai. It can be used defensively, or shoved right into someone. "

On the one hand, I appreciate that their school goes out rock climbing, does rope courses, etc, but some of the stuff in those videos looked very unsafe and dangerous for the students (yellow-belt being strung up a tree with no safety harness or net, for example). Hope they signed a waiver!

1/28/2005 10:47am,
That whole site is fucking hilarious. As an endangered species we should all read it. Shame that people are doing the nija thing for real though - good old Rick Tew.

Wounded Ronin
1/28/2005 4:59pm,
My most favorite moment out of all those Rick Tew videos is the part where the two ninjas jump off of the wall and confront the guy in that mililtary-looking uniform. The one ninja throws some powder which dosen't even reach the uniformed guy. Then, instead of the uniformed guy, like, drawing his weapon and shooting the guy who tried to throw powder multiple times as would realistically happen, he steps back a long distances and raises his hand high so that the second ninja can run up and tap him from behind, making him fall down dead.

The thing is that there's such a time delay between when the ninjas jump down and when the second ninja taps the guy in the back that it's ridiculous. Like, if you had a pistol you'd have time to empty your whole magazine into the first ninja.

1/28/2005 5:17pm,
Agreed. They should have jumped right on him or at least right behind him. Still probably
would have gotten shot, and if the guard had an automatic weapon, I think he could have
plugged them both and made a hell of a lot of noise, thus ruining the ninja-ness of the
whole thing.

1/29/2005 12:24pm,
i love this site. thank you.

1/29/2005 1:14pm,
You can't look in a Ninja's medicine cabinet because they will bleed you right there on the bathroom tile if you do. But if you could, this healing lotion would be in there."

My favorite quote from the site.