View Full Version : Help! My niece wants to join a McDojo

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12/23/2004 10:22am,
I need some help. My precious 10 year old niece told me today that she wants to take TaeKwonDo. When I asked her why she told me that her friend Nicole does TKD and she is almost a black belt. I told her to come take the kids class at my school and she asked if she could get a blackbelt. I told her after a lot of hard work and years of practice she could. She then said, "well Nicole got hers in two years." I don't know what to tell her. Can someone please help me?

12/23/2004 10:24am,
She's ten. She shouldn't be doing the martial arts if she doesn't understand their significance...

But since saying no to kids doesn't work anymore, tell her that it's not about the belt and all that blah. She might just listen. Failing that at least find her a WTF school that does a lot of kiddie sparring. It's way better than any point sparring shite.

12/23/2004 10:26am,
Tell her friend Nicole to come to your school for a day. Bring your niece. Nicole can spar one of your BBs.

Peter H.
12/23/2004 10:29am,
Call Christopher Walken and have him talk to her.

No, really, let her. So what if she gets a meaningless TKD blackbelt when she is 12? Keep her on the right track, let her know that the blackbelt, while worked hard for, does not equate to the ability to fight or defend herself.

Let her do it, but don't let her ego inflate about it. Lots of people start at McDojo's and go on to better things.

12/23/2004 10:33am,
Tell her she can train in TKD as long as she learns some phat triX for self defense.

12/23/2004 11:09am,
Some excercise is better than no excercise.

I'm seeing this as a competition between your niece and her friend Nicole. Your niece wants what Nicole has - a BB. And she wants it ASAP to be on the same level as Nicole.

If you sell your place as "better", that she'll be one-up on Nicole somehow, then you might be able to have her avoid mcdojo-ism.

I'd try "Well the reason Nicole can get a BB in two years is because [TKD sucks? TKD only deals with kicking? insert reasonable answer here - but she will quote it] while where I go we do so much more fun stuff...blah, blah, blah."

Just my 2 cents.


Oh, and you can use the inquiry method to find out why she wants to go there and take TKD. Maybe it's just to hang out with Nicole. Keep asking "Why" and get her to explain herself. You then might have something to use to steer her away from the place.

12/23/2004 11:13am,
Two very viable solutions here....

Let her go to TKD and get a decorative black belt, just make sure she understands EXACTLY what it represents.


Try to sell her on the quality of training at a more realistic school. Being a badassmofo is always cooler than being fashionable. (hard to sell to a girl, tho.)

12/23/2004 11:22am,
aren't people here always bitching about 10 year old black belts, including myself? why is it being promoted here? isn't this the problem with tkd that's always harped on?

12/23/2004 11:36am,
Here's a thought. Since it will be her PARENTS paying for the classes, explain to her PARENTS the pros and cons of her decision. Let them know what they are in for (testing fees every 2 months, uniform fees if they push new uniform with every belt, over priced BB testing fees) Break down financially. Have her friend see your school as well. If all else fails, let her do it anyway, would you rather she not have any knowledge or some knowledge? Better yet, why don't you train her?

12/23/2004 11:37am,
the point isnt the black belt .... thats nothing more than a trophy on the wall or a cheerleading medal ...

the point is getting your niece to ...

1. excercise ...

2. achieve something through regular attendance and build good personal habits ...

it is MUCH better to have a dedicated person take TKD ... than someone who really isnt into it take BJJ ...

some girls dont like sparring or rolling with sweaty boys ...

12/23/2004 11:47am,
Thanks for all the input. The problem I have is I know she would have a much better time at my school but as Jaychiu said she wants what Nicole has. My sister kind of left it in my hands as she has no knowledge in this area. I am glad she is showing interest in MA and I don't want to turn her away from it. So as much as it pains me I am thinking now maybe I should let her start the TKD at her friend's McDojo and hope that I can turn her interest as soon as possible. It sounds like a few of you agree with this way of thinking but I feel that I am supporting McDojoism which is just wrong to me.

12/23/2004 11:47am,
Most 10 year olds just want to try stuff out. Chances are she will loose interest in wanting a black belt in less than 3 months. If she sticks with it then you can sell her your school later.

12/23/2004 11:47am,
judo's always great for kids...

sorry. bored at work. brain melting. all i can come up with...

Sam Browning
12/23/2004 11:56am,
To be sneaky, I would come at her from an unexpected angle in the conversation.

a) Do you want to train with Nicole, or do you just want the belt?

b) If she says she wants the belt I would obtain a BB via mail order, hand it to her and say sweetly, now what did that accomplish?

c) More relevantly you can ask her, so why does Nicole want to train, self defense, sport, ect since she seems to be making the decisions here?

I know, I probably shouldn't have kids.

WingChun Lawyer
12/23/2004 11:56am,
If itīs in your hands, just talk to her honestly and as one person to another, not as a grownup to a kid. Tell her it will be ultimately her decision, but explain her what she will get out of TKD, what she will get out of your school, and what is the meaning of a blackbelt.

Then ask her what are her goals. If she couldnīt care less about MA or self defense and she just wants to be where Nicole is, well, cīest la vie.

Deadpan Scientist
12/23/2004 11:58am,
Tell her she will be able to beat up Nicole and take her boyfriend after 3 weeks at your school.