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Ippatsu182
12/16/2004 7:56pm,
I thought it'd be fun to make some lymrics with a bullshido flair.

Here's an example:

There once was a kid named Fred,
Who never did what he said.
He started a RBSD school,
Because he thought he was cool.
But now our little friend is dead.

I'll start, someone else come up with the next line, please.

"I once knew a small judo player."

The Wastrel
12/16/2004 8:56pm,
Limerick. Like the county in Ireland.

Judah Maccabee
12/16/2004 9:34pm,
Dux was an immodest man
Portrayed by the actor Van Damme
But then Busman M.C.
Made it plain to see
That all of his past was a scam

supercrap
12/16/2004 9:36pm,
Wow, what a coincedene.

I'm currently in the process of whipping up a sonnet about our friend phil.

Give me a moment.

Chushin Ryoku
12/16/2004 10:04pm,
I think I beat you to it Supercrap (not a Sonnet though). Here it goes....

He is prattling his martial rant to secure his riches
And throughout the tangled websites of deceit
We are aware of Phil Elmore’s empty tirades
Resounding despondently in our threads replete

The red waves of mist spray upon me
A twisted face lying underneath my feet
And rip from Phil Elmore’s smothering girth
Blood and bone that sat in fleshy lair
And feed him to the homeless of the street

PizDoff
12/16/2004 10:23pm,
um.........no.......


Edit: Then again he asked for 'Lymrics '

Judah Maccabee
12/16/2004 10:39pm,
Phil Elmore says most arts are weak
But his own will make you freak
With an assorted medley
Of movements so d34dly
Like the dreaded arched eyebrow technique!

http://www.philelmore.com/images/phil-tie-index.jpg

Equipoise
12/17/2004 12:25am,
Haha! These are getting humorous.

Phrost
12/17/2004 12:28am,
A haiku:

:phil:
I do not fight fair
Concealed tomahawk sheath
Scalping the homeless

supercrap
12/17/2004 12:35am,
Once upon a time, in internet land,
There was a man with hams for hands
His beard was small and his eyebrow large,
At night, he bit the pillow and dreamed of 'Sarge'

He hoped for the day when he'd shoot his gun,
At a gay, a black or a homeless bum.
Or preferably all three, all rolled into one,
as long as he got to shoot his gun

He rips his pants during daily activities,
not once but twice in the course of festivities
A rip on the seam that joins his pants,
Exposing the vent from which he writes his rants

He likes to train as if it were real.
A knife in one hand, the other, crumbed veal.
He trains with his sifu in the art of wing chun,
but if things got heavy he'd just whip out his gun.

He is a real tough guy, always ready to fight,
except on Wednesday, Tuesday and Monday night,
Busy on Friday too, and Thursday's out,
Can't make it at the weekend, there will be no bout!

He hides loaded guns in his grandma's house,
but cried like a baby when he sat on a mouse,
He's happy with himself because he created 'something',
funny, that's just what I thought before I finished flushing

supercrap
12/17/2004 12:37am,
My eyebrow is raised
Like always
regarding the blade's reflection

Judah Maccabee
12/17/2004 1:48am,
Maybe I try too hard.

(sung to the tune "Roll Out" by Ludacris)

Eyebrow!

[repeat 6x]
Eyebrow! Eyebrow! Eyebrow! Eyebrow!

[chorus - Eyebrow! in background]
I’m in my mid-40s, cock-trapped
Me and my stories, forgot that,
They trollin on PB, on my nutsack
So much funny, you can’t top that

I’m in my mid-40s, cock-trapped
Paranoid phonies, you can’t stop that
We holdin fists of keys, with a dropped hat
Look out poor bunnies, we gonna shoot that

Now where’d I get this hatchet and a holster with it?
If you don’t like my forums, you can just quit it.
Who them dark-skinned men goin on a cruise?
Man I ain’t got a damn clue, nothing better to do
If you’re breakin the rules, I ban you and your views, whewwwww!
Tell me who’s your Sifu man, mine is so damn good
He’d take your Sifu, boy. and bend him over the hood
”What in the world is in that bag, what you got in that bag?”
A couple a cans a tear gas, I’m doing a good ass job of just lyin to me, cryin to sleep

[chorus]

”Man, that stain don’t come out with soap, where in the **** did you get it? “
For eighty-thousand bucks, man, Sifu can shoot it and spread it.
”You must have shrooms on your sack, ’cause you got flannel to the ceiling"
And the bigger the crap, the bigger the reelin
All the money I’m stealin, the less I’m appealin
Losin, cruisin, and boozin out bruisin
”Now who’s that whacked-out **** packin knives in heels?
Three handguns, six knives, her case is on appeals?
What in the world is in that room, what you got in that room? “
A couple a gats, a couple a knives, a houseful of rats I eat with some chives
Now it’s time to choose

[chorus]

”Are you all insane, just real lame, or you just come unknitted? “
Playstation 2 up in the attic and you’re manly-titted
Is your wife the handgun, or your porno mags?
Your head’s startin to sag, while getting bagged, by Bullshido till you’re waving double white flags
Now tell me who’s your housekeeper and does she run from your house?
From Pringles crumbs and guns, and a latex spouse?
What in the world is on your face, is that eyebrow replaced?
You big fat disgrace, your whole site should be erased, wait to take place at a similar pace”
So shake, shake it

[(chorus) 1/2x]

(fade)

Dr. Fagbot Q. MacGillicuddy, PhD
12/17/2004 5:42am,
Haha! These are getting humorous.

"getting"

SLJ
12/17/2004 7:58am,
There once was a man named Elmore,
Who's bullshitting rants were a bore.
One day for fun, he shot off his gun,
And mucked out all over the floor.

JohnnyFive
12/17/2004 8:30am,
Oooh, let me try:

Phil Elmore thinks he's very tough,
Always deadly, ready, well-armed and rough,
So he posts pictures of himself with knives,
And the gun he carries when he drives,
We're just glad none of them are in the buff.

JohnnyFive
12/17/2004 8:33am,
There once was a small judo player,
Who when fighting big people didn't care,
He said the other guy might be fat,
And can beat me on the mat,
But last night? His wife? I laid her.