View Full Version : Help me attend the "tournament" of doom!

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Wounded Ronin
6/20/2004 4:37pm,
OK, guys. I am faced with an extremely amusing problem and since I can't think of any solutions I figure I can ask you guys for advice.

Some of you may be familiar with the most ridiculous and stupid "martial arts" tournament known to man: http://wmacf.20megsfree.com/

It is supposed to be held next year in mid-April in Timmins, Ontario, Canada.

Now, I actually went and signed up for this tournament because at the time I was living in New York and someone from Boston was offering to drive me up. I figured it would be hilarious to go to the tournament and watch people try to hock ki techniques at each other.

But, it looks now like I'll be in New Orleans, Louisiana in April of next year and I'd be busy doing graduate work in Public Health. So, I'm not really sure if I'd be able to make it to said ridiculousness fest.

But, it would be really nice if I could figure out a way to get there. I mean, whatever happened it would be a story that I could tell to all my friends and relatives for the rest of my life. Think of how incredibly funny it would be to tell again and again to new people.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to an economical and quick way to get from New Orleans to Timmins and back? Or, better yet, does anyone living in the New Orleans area also want to go to this "tournament" and give me a lift as well?

Thank you very much for any and all suggestions and help.

6/20/2004 4:42pm,

Ahahahaha, yeah you definitely need to be there. Sorry I can't help. I have to practice my "Advanced Ki Blast" now.

6/20/2004 5:16pm,

I would hope so.

::What to do with Ki Balls:: The most abvious is to make a ki blast. But most beginners can't do this yet. Another thing to do with it is to heal. If someone is hurt, make a ki ball and put it over their body. Push the ki ball into their body, willing it to heal them. Concentrate on it healing them. Ki balls can also be used to form many techniques.


::Visible Ki Ball:: Start focusing on your Tan Tien. Visualize it as a green ball of energy inside of you. Visualize it glowing as you move it to your chest. Move the energy into your arms, then to your hands. Now Force the energy of out your hands and form it into a ball. This is hard since Ki is pure energy and energy is hard to give a color. You can try any color but i find green is the easiest.

Why does it have to be green? Why not blue, red or black?

::Inner Flame:: ::Inner Flame::
If you only use Ki for this technique you can really hurt yourself. Go to a place with LOTS of Mana. Then use the Ki flame technique to power up. Even out your energy around your body. Then move the Ki into your skin. Make it hot by visualizing it getting hot, but still focusing on the Ki. Make it as hot as possible. Also try to make it not burn you.

AHHHHHHH!! It burns!! :eek:

::Burning Knuckle:: ::Burning Knuckle::
Stand in your fighting position. Draw the hand that you are going to attack with back. Now perform a ki flame power up. Force ALL the energy in the flame into your hands. Let the flame expand a little and engulf your entire hand. In your mind it should look like your hand is on fire. Focus behind your opponent and attack. Once contact is made, let the flame go as a blast. Turn your knuckle a little. Even after you've made contact, still try to reach the air behind the opponent. WARNING!: THIS ATTACK WILL CAUSE VOMMIT OF BLOOD AND CAN EVEN PARYLLIZE! USE AS A LAST RESORT!

Surely hitting someone in the stomach repeatadly would produce the same result?

::Multi Convergence:: ::Multi Convergence::
This is a technique designed to allow the practicer to create spiritual replicas of one's self. This is accomplished by shaping your ki into the form of yourself. Stand is a postured position, legs at shoulder width. This time, feel the ki move inside of you. Draw in more ki to add to it, but don't let it come outside of your body like a ki flame. Once your body is full of ki, start to make the ki move faster and faster throughout your entire body, untill it's going so fast, it(in your mind) doesn't look like it's moving at all. Now, step to the side, and visualize that energy seperating in half from your body. There should now be a model of yourslef molded by ki next to you. Move it like you would a ki ball. As long as you concentrate on it, it will not dissapear.


::Sonic Boom:: ::Sonic Boom::
Stand in a postured position, with your arms by you sides. Begin to collect ki in your fist. Gather as much as you can in them. Clench a fist, and focus on your opponent. Bring your arms up to chest level, and lock them so that your right fist is inside of your left elbow, and the left fist outside of your right elbow, with your elbows pointing out. Send the two ki balls circulating through your arms, into your chest, then back into your arms. Keep the ki balls inside of your arms circulating untill the loose their form and just become two masses of ki. When they gain much momentum, extend your arms and let the twp masses come roaring out through your hands. You should visualize it as a shockwave, tearing through everything. Doe this blast about 2 feet from the opponent.

When did he make the transition from dragon ball to street fighter?

6/20/2004 5:27pm,
What planet do these fuckheads live on?! Seriously, I'd love to meet one of these retarded loser fucks. They'd make for a great psych eval.

6/20/2004 6:18pm,
Originally posted by Te(V)plar
What planet do these fuckheads live on?! Seriously, I'd love to meet one of these retarded loser fucks. They'd make for a great psych eval.

Ours, unfortunatly.

meh. A psych evaluation would probably only tell us what we already know: Delusions brought on by watching too damn much dragon ball Z.

6/20/2004 6:22pm,
LOL! You know they're dangerous when they have DMX "Party Up" transformed into MIDI music and placed on the front page. *dies of laughter*

6/20/2004 6:25pm,
I left the comment "Your site sucks...ki blast my balls bitch"...hopefully they'll get the message.

6/20/2004 6:28pm,
Originally posted by The_Ghost
I left the comment "Your site sucks...ki blast my balls bitch"...hopefully they'll get the message.

6/20/2004 11:25pm,
::Muscle Bulk::
This is quite powerful. Channel a high amount of Ki to your muscles around your body. Visualize your muscles obsorbing the Ki and becoming larger as you flex. Know your limits! This technique can break your bones if you make your muscles too big. I learned that the hard way.


-You must be 13 or older to be able to participate.

Thank god, if they made it 16 years or older 99% of their fanbase wouldn't be able to fight.

Wounded Ronin
6/20/2004 11:57pm,
Is there anyone in Louisiana who would want to see this spectacle and who would be willing to drive me?

6/21/2004 12:02am,
Surely SOMEBODY is going? I would love to see video...

6/21/2004 1:52am,
If you go, would you try to engage them in any kind of sparring?

Wounded Ronin
6/21/2004 2:01am,
Well I did sign up to enter the tournament, so yes, I would.

6/21/2004 3:17am,
I believe the fact that they have an Add for Alex Chiu (http://www.alexchiu.com/) speaks volumes for their credibility.

Darting Fingers
6/21/2004 3:29am,
Do these guys smoke opium before they do tournaments or what?

6/21/2004 3:51am,
Guns and cutting weapons forbidden. But an aluminum baseball bat will be legal.

They will be projecting KI balls. I will be swinging for the fence. Wonder who would win?