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View Full Version : The worst and/or most memorable injuries thread



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anthracite
8/31/2017 9:15pm,
I'm definitely NOT asking for visual proof, but I'm afraid we're going to need a story on that one.

Had to call my mother to ask how old I was although I remember it vividly. I've always been one to camp out on the crapper. Reading at times until my feet go to sleep. What I was doing at around four years of age I don't know. We had one bathroom in that house. My younger sister who would have been about 2-3 at the time really needed to go. She told me this, in that little girl's gotta pee voice. Nothing. Mom tells me to hurry up, Jana needs to go. Okay Mom. Nothing. Sister starting to cry.

Mom enters with a belt. Now that was probably the first time I'd had a belt pulled on me. I'm sure she wasn't going to hit me as later, the rare corporal punishment was handed out by my dad. Still, apparently her bluff was enough. I bailed. Why I dove for the bathtub beside the toilet I don't know but it was as far away as I was going to get in that small bathroom. My junk got caught against the inside edge of the toilet seat and ripped that baby at the root. Not bad, but enough to bleed profusely. Probably profusely as I was running around the house bleeding on the hard wood floor.

Happens my paternal grandparents were visiting from out of town. Between Mom and Granny Bill (Willie, beloved and called Bill by everyone) they caught me, loaded my wounded self, sister and headed to the pediatrician. This guys seen me before for stitches. I'm active. Mom approaches the office and as quietly as possible explains the problem. I'm seen after a short wait and given four stitches. Whiskers they were called. Only adolescent in the neighborhood with pubes.

Add deer tine to the anus to my list. Not really an injury, no trip to the doctor (probably a good call). Never pretend your father's lawn mower is a dune buggy. Leaning against the handle with a bucket of deer antlers (used for rattling) below is hazardous. You can only lean back so far.

BKR
8/31/2017 10:14pm,
Had to call my mother to ask how old I was although I remember it vividly. I've always been one to camp out on the crapper. Reading at times until my feet go to sleep. What I was doing at around four years of age I don't know. We had one bathroom in that house. My younger sister who would have been about 2-3 at the time really needed to go. She told me this, in that little girl's gotta pee voice. Nothing. Mom tells me to hurry up, Jana needs to go. Okay Mom. Nothing. Sister starting to cry.

Mom enters with a belt. Now that was probably the first time I'd had a belt pulled on me. I'm sure she wasn't going to hit me as later, the rare corporal punishment was handed out by my dad. Still, apparently her bluff was enough. I bailed. Why I dove for the bathtub beside the toilet I don't know but it was as far away as I was going to get in that small bathroom. My junk got caught against the inside edge of the toilet seat and ripped that baby at the root. Not bad, but enough to bleed profusely. Probably profusely as I was running around the house bleeding on the hard wood floor.

Happens my paternal grandparents were visiting from out of town. Between Mom and Granny Bill (Willie, beloved and called Bill by everyone) they caught me, loaded my wounded self, sister and headed to the pediatrician. This guys seen me before for stitches. I'm active. Mom approaches the office and as quietly as possible explains the problem. I'm seen after a short wait and given four stitches. Whiskers they were called. Only adolescent in the neighborhood with pubes.

Add deer tine to the anus to my list. Not really an injury, no trip to the doctor (probably a good call). Never pretend your father's lawn mower is a dune buggy. Leaning against the handle with a bucket of deer antlers (used for rattling) below is hazardous. You can only lean back so far.

Joe you win.

Mods please come up with an appropriate tag for Joe.

Permalost
8/31/2017 11:47pm,
Can't believe I'm the first one to up vote this. Fighting rabid coyotes at what, eleven years old? You are the man.

I remember kicking it in the head, and the impact didn't even make it blink.

PDA
9/01/2017 12:20am,
What's the difference?

Money

Kovacs
9/01/2017 2:16am,
If I'd avoided contact sports, I'd be a lot "healthier". Other than old and persistent injuries, everything still works OK.

Yeah but you wouldn't be the Judo wrecking machine that you are now. It's a funny one. When I was in my twenties I had a desk job and looked like I was a knackered 40 year old. Then I got an extremely arduous outdoors job and I looked like a healthy 20 year old again. Now I'm in the army in my 30's, I look like I'm twenty but feel like I'm 60.

BKR
9/01/2017 10:38am,
Yeah but you wouldn't be the Judo wrecking machine that you are now. It's a funny one. When I was in my twenties I had a desk job and looked like I was a knackered 40 year old. Then I got an extremely arduous outdoors job and I looked like a healthy 20 year old again. Now I'm in the army in my 30's, I look like I'm twenty but feel like I'm 60.

I'm a wrecked, former judo wrecking machine...

I still do Judo and BJJ, but I don't do much wrecking anymore.

I'm 55, and I often wonder how 60 is going to feel...ouch...

Mandem
9/01/2017 1:17pm,
Back when I was doing parkour a guy I was training with tried to jump to a platform, undershot, put a fucking massive dent in his shin, refused to tell anyone because he was worried his mum wouldn't let him train anymore if she found out and ended up in hospital with an infection.