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View Full Version : Going To Start BJJ (From Home) With My Girlfriend, Any Advice Getting Started?



Jim Giant
5/31/2016 2:05pm,
A while ago I was asking for self defence advice for my disabled girlfriend:
http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=125545

We've decided to start learning BJJ. We're going to learn from home for a month or so for a few reasons.

1. I'm very short of money till next month

2. I'd like to see if she's able to stick with it before joining a club.

3. She's going to need a lot of 1 on 1 time to figure out what she can and cannot do. I'd rather work with her by myself for a little while and figure out what her options are and what her limitations are rather than burden this all on to our instructor.

We both have prior experience with Judo and advanced powerlifters.
She's 5'3, 180lbs
I'm 6'4, 230lbs

We've just started going throught the material here:
http://www.beginningbjj.com/BJJ%20Roadmap%201.3.pdf

Is this information quality? Any other resources you'd recommend or other advice for training at home?

DCS
5/31/2016 2:20pm,
We both have prior experience with Judo
How much?

Have you trained BJJ before?

ermghoti
5/31/2016 3:11pm,
Um. At most, do judo newaza, implementing BJJ rules and goals. Given the size differences, neither of you will get much from pure rolling, so maybe just drill. Get in grappling shape until you can get training might be the most realistic goal.

ChenPengFi
5/31/2016 3:29pm,
That sounds like a very bad idea.

goodlun
5/31/2016 3:58pm,
We've decided to start learning BJJ. We're going to learn from home for a month or so for a few reasons.


Don't!!!



1. I'm very short of money till next month


This is a valid reason but not at the same time,
Do you have mats at home?
Do you have a copy of http://www.amazon.com/Jiu-Jitsu-University-Saulo-Ribeiro/dp/0981504434
Do you have a copy of http://www.amazon.com/Brazilian-Jitsu-Blue-Belt-Requirements/dp/B001ADKATC
Do you have a copy of http://www.amazon.com/Brazilian-Jiu-Jitsu-Submission-Grappling-Techniques/dp/1931229295

These thing especially the mats cost money



2. I'd like to see if she's able to stick with it before joining a club.


Is she interested or is this something you are pushing on her?
Why did she quit Judo?
Has she even tried the free trial at what ever BJJ gym?
You can always find a place that doesn't have a contact making quiting not a big deal.
A big also, WTF man, seriously how is she going to know if she will stick with it without getting a preview of what it really is.
You two putting on pajamas and rolling around isn't the same AT FUCKING ALL of going to a gym.
The two are night and day.
She might not enjoy working with you the same way she might with a quality instructor and other people her size, other women, or you know in a facility with fucking mats. All you are likely to do is dissuade any interest she might actually have if she has any at all.
or
On the other hand she might get to the gym and its one of those places that is creepy towards women or the instructor and her might not vibe or what the **** ever.
The gym it self is such a HUGE part of the equation that this point make 0 fucking sense.



3. She's going to need a lot of 1 on 1 time to figure out what she can and cannot do. I'd rather work with her by myself for a little while and figure out what her options are and what her limitations are rather than burden this all on to our instructor.

**** you **** you **** you, and seriously **** you.
You are not in a position to figure out ANY of that ****.
How about you let the guy who is a professional work with her and figure that **** out.


So in other words DON"T FUCKING DO IT.

ChenPengFi
5/31/2016 4:02pm,
Spend the time making more money and pay for legit classes for her.

goodlun
5/31/2016 4:51pm,
Here read this

http://breakingmuscle.com/brazilian-jiu-jitsu/surviving-socially-the-beginner-phase-of-bjj

This will I hope help you grasp why its silly to see if someone will stick with something without the actual pressures of that thing.

Jim Giant
5/31/2016 5:16pm,
Ok, I'll save up and we'll start properly next month, hopefully sooner.

Jim Giant
5/31/2016 5:23pm,
Thanks for all the info. Is there anything worth doing in the mean time?

BKR
5/31/2016 5:24pm,
Thanks for all the info. Is there anything we could be doing in the mean time?

Exercise of some sort, healthy diet ? 5'3 and 180 sounds a bit on the heavy side.

Jim Giant
5/31/2016 5:33pm,
Exercise of some sort, healthy diet ? 5'3 and 180 sounds a bit on the heavy side.

She wants to lose another 25lbs but she's doing pretty well. 15lbs down in 8 months while getting stronger.

goodlun
5/31/2016 5:45pm,
Thanks for all the info. Is there anything worth doing in the mean time?

Yes make sure this is something SHE actually wants to do and that its not something you are pushing her into do to your own insecurities.

Exercise wise I suggest swimming, lots and lots of swimming.

Nutcracker, sweet
5/31/2016 6:19pm,
...
We're going to learn from home for a month or so for a few reasons.
...
We've just started going throught the material here:
http://www.beginningbjj.com/BJJ%20Roadmap%201.3.pdf

Is this information quality?

(emphasis mine)

For a month or so, I don't see any problem with trying some of these things at home. If you come back and say you've signed up for Gracie University, rather than attending a real school, then maybe I'll take issue.

Kesting has decent material. It's not going to turn you into an uber-elite BJJ player, but it's far from the bottom of the barrel, imo. I believe he has a significant Judo background, as well as being a BJJ black belt. You could do worse, but don't believe for a second that you're going to be good just because you follow his online instruction. You've been around here long enough to have learned that there's more to either art than just replicating what's in the videos.

BKR
5/31/2016 6:23pm,
She wants to lose another 25lbs but she's doing pretty well. 15lbs down in 8 months while getting stronger.

Good for her, then !