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View Full Version : 30 minutes ago, almost got into an altercation. Went as well as it could have.



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atomicpoet
3/24/2012 1:56pm,
I walked into a KFC just now to order a sandwich, and the moment I stepped inside, one of them said, "Hey, that's the guy who's always in the KFC."

Never having met them in my life — and having never stepped inside a KFC in months — I probably looked at him with a confused expression.

"What do you want?" he asked me as I paused.

"Nothing," I said.

"Ha!" he began taking on an aggressive demeanour, "That's what I thought."

I realized he was trying to get something out of me, and I began considering my options.

The guy was short, stocky, and wore glasses. I could tell he hadn't showered in a week. He has mustard stains on his clothes, and when he walked close to me, I could smell booze from the night before. There was no question I could take him on — if it had to come to that.

His friend, on the other hand, was different. He was tall and rangy, and looked like the smarter of the too. It also knew if in any violence happened, he'd be a part of it.

I ordered my food, then stepped back. I took it easy, sipped my tea, and continued to mind my own business — not saying a thing.

Shorty, though, decided to turn around and stare at me. I tried being friendly. I asked him how he was doing. He didn't reply, opting instead to pull up a chair beside me and continue staring at me.

So asked him, "Hey, would you like this other chair for you friend?"

"No," he laughed, "You can sit here if you want to."

I wasn't having any of it. So I moved over, and decided to leave the chair open for his friend.

His friend then sat down, and they both continued staring at me. I continued to sip my coffee, never giving them eye contact for a single moment.

Shorty walked over to me, laughed in my face, and said, "I could totally kick your ass."

Once again, I didn't say a single thing to him, continued to sip my tea, waiting for my order to finish.

Finally, the KFC girl let me know my order was done. I grabbed my sandwich, and just as I left, Shorty said to his friend, "Don't worry, we'll go after him in just a moment."

I left the premises, fully expecting both of them to come right out. I was fully ready to engage if I had to, and had all the confidence in the world that I could at least hurt Shorty.

But, neither one of them followed me out.

Frankly, this whole thing went about as well as it could have. I have no idea why both of them wanted to cause trouble with me. I also have no idea why neither of them tried to do what they said they were going to do.

ZenMMA
3/24/2012 2:08pm,
I don't mean to be rude, but you did just waste 2 minutes of my life here.

Can you at least include a picture of a semi naked woman at the end of the story so people dont feel so robbed?

slamdunc
3/24/2012 2:29pm,
I guess Vancouver is a bit rough. Our KFC is full of retirees, none of which want to engage. Our drunks hang out in convenience stores and try to pick fights there.

PizDoff
3/24/2012 2:33pm,
I fixed your thread title from "30 minutes ago, almost got into an altercation. When as well as it could have. " to "30 minutes ago, almost got into an altercation. Went as well as it could have. "


Did you know in Hong Kong a coffee / tea mix is a popular drink? Yuanyang, Yuenyeung, Yinyong.

Devil
3/24/2012 2:40pm,
Just another Saturday night in Vancompton.

Jim_Jude
3/24/2012 5:07pm,
I fixed your thread title from "30 minutes ago, almost got into an altercation. When as well as it could have. " to "30 minutes ago, almost got into an altercation. Went as well as it could have. "


Did you know in Hong Kong a coffee / tea mix is a popular drink? Yuanyang, Yuenyeung, Yinyong.

Should have changed it to "30 minutes ago, two homeless guys were fucking with people at KFC and my imagination got the better of me."

It is Fake
3/24/2012 5:17pm,
I don't mean to be rude, but you did just waste 2 minutes of my life here.
This tells me you post and don't read any of your own threads.

HereBeADragon
3/24/2012 5:26pm,
Very strange story. Normally drunk grungy people are so agreeable!

JingMerchant!
3/24/2012 5:29pm,
Did you know in Hong Kong a coffee / tea mix is a popular drink? Yuanyang, Yuenyeung, Yinyong.This is... just... just... Horrifying!!!

Tranquil Suit
3/24/2012 6:01pm,
I walked into a KFC just now to order a sandwich...
That was your first mistake right there.

TaeBo_Master
3/24/2012 6:16pm,
In fact, 30 minutes ago you did get into an altercation (albeit a really boring and pansy-ass one). An altercation is a verbal disagreement, and contains no physical violence. What you really meant was that a couple of teenage punks wanted to intimidate you for kicks, and in your imagination they might actually have taken it somewhere.

altercation |ˌôltərˈkā sh ən|
noun
a noisy argument or disagreement, esp. in public

atomicpoet
3/24/2012 6:29pm,
In fact, 30 minutes ago you did get into an altercation (albeit a really boring and pansy-ass one). An altercation is a verbal disagreement, and contains no physical violence. What you really meant was that a couple of teenage punks wanted to intimidate you for kicks, and in your imagination they might actually have taken it somewhere.

altercation |ˌôltərˈkā sh ən|
noun
a noisy argument or disagreement, esp. in public

There was no verbal argument. I kept to myself, and was as agreeable as possible.

Also, they weren't teenagers. They were old grungy dudes in their 30s.

For the record, I completely agree this is a stupid thread. Felt the need to vent and I have no idea why I did so here. I already asked the moderators to delete this.

Tranquil Suit
3/24/2012 6:35pm,
It's cool. I liked reading yet. Just another example of dumb ****.

Devil
3/24/2012 6:41pm,
Were they wearing hoodies?

Vince Tortelli
3/24/2012 6:49pm,
I am intrigued. Who this apparent doppelganger of yours who "is always in KFC?" Why are these two old men out to get him? What could have brought this short stocky man and his tall, intelligent looking friend togather in this quest for vengeance? I feel as if I read one paragraph in the middle of a Joe R. Lansdale story, and now I will never find out the backstory or the denouement.

atomicpoet
3/24/2012 6:58pm,
Were they wearing hoodies?

No, the short guy was wearing old jeans, a business jacket with mustard stains, a baseball cap, had two weeks growth of facial hair.

The tall guy was wearing a grey tracksuit.

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