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battlefields
6/01/2011 9:57pm,
I was at a concert (I Killed The Prom Queen) the other night with a mate having a pretty good time. The crowd were a younger generation, doing what is known as hardcore dancing which if you are unaware is a cross between slam dancing and metal deathcircle elbow throwing, with bad cartwheels and taekwondo-esque turn kicks thrown in. It is fucking funny watching fists and feet fly that freely without being at a WTF competition.

For someone who was accustomed to metal moshpits and death circles in the 90's where elbows and fists were the order of the day, I quickly adapted to a new feet avoiding strategy: throw more elbows and if I saw someone lining up an athletic kick, shoulder barge them mid air before the feet were able to gain steam. Worked like a charm. I like to think that they realised I had been banging heads for longer than some of them had been forming words and decided not to **** with this awesome metalhead behemoth. It could also be because my mate seemed to lose his mind.

Seriously, about ten minutes into the set a hardcore kiddie was throwing some serious fists out there, wild like they were grenades taped to his hands and he needed to get rid of them. Full arcing swings like a madman on meth simulating a freestyle swimming stroke. He permeated my peripheral vision and I became immediately aware. My mate didn't.

THWACK!!!

Over the sound of the music the sound of this fist connecting with my mates face was either audible, or the shockwave was visible. The stunned look on his face was priceless. The look that replaced it was not. I often talk about the evil that lurks in the hearts of men and that some men wear their heart on their sleeve, well this look was like he had wiped his face with his sleeve and all the evil from his heart was on his face. I think that works, let me know in the comments below.

He turned into the moshpit monster, deathcircles would form and he would run the other way taking out the kiddies like some sort of cartoon, cutting a swathe through the traffic with kids hitting the deathcircles walls and floor with such gusto I was sure there was some sort of special effects being applied between my retina and brain.

Satan hadn't finished with him when the mosh had. Outside there was a rather inebriated young chap who had invited ridicule by being a rather inebriated young chap trying to dance and eventually, by just trying to stand up. This chap was being mildly forceful with his girlfriend, grabbing her face and kissing her, while simultaneously hitting on the chick beside them. It was amusing to watch at first, but my mate became enraged the more he saw him gripping the girls chin. Suddenly he was telling the young man exactly what he thought of this manhandling of his missus while trying to score with another seemingly disinterested chick.

Now, this young fellow was a good 6-7 inches taller than my mate and relatively built, not big, but with a bit of muscle. On the other hand, my mate is a regularly competing BJJ purple and has a variety of other martial arts under his belt. So when Drunk Young Gun decides, "hey, I'm bigger than this dude, I can take him" in his slurred thoughts and says, "yeah, **** you, mate, wanna go" in his slurred words, my mate says, "come on then" and I'm like, "dude, don't kick off now, I'm texting a chick right now and she might be into hooking up later tonight". True story, I was texting a chick.

Anyway, I hoped this wouldn't result in much more than DYG apologising for his behaviour and promising never to do it again, but I am a realist who also happens to be great in bed provided she enjoys light BDSM. As expected DYG throws a punch, I stop my protesting against violence and pocket my phone (just as things were heating up) just in case I need to break it up and let them go at it.

The first several punches from both sides missed, they grappled and went to ground. A security guard approached, but stood there in what had to have been the most ineffectual display of bouncerism I have ever witnessed, I mean, he would not have looked out of place chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!". I heard the group next to me say, "it's like watching little girls fight" when my mate nearly sunk in a RNC. Suddenly the group next to me were experts, "did you see that, he nearly got him in a Rear Naked Choke!"

After a tiny bit more of a scuffle my mate started throwing knees in quick succession. The third one forced DYG to quit quick smart, he sprinted away possibly crying and most definitely nursing facial injuries. The group next to me, the same ones less than a minute before, are idolising my mate, "it was like UFC!" I just shook my head.

We are escorted from the premises. Then my mate says to me, "why didn't you help?" I'm like, "you start a fight, you finish it". He then starts with the hypotheticals, what if his mate joined in? (Then his mate would have a problem) What if he started winning? (Take your beating like a man, he starts stomping then I step in) blah blah blah.

Having not had a fight since I stopped drinking and having only ever really had alcohol fuelled streetfights, this was new territory for me. I wasn't really sure what to do, my mate was in the right, DYG was acting the fool, but I knew he would get beaten badly and I wasn't sure I had witnessed any "abuse" as such, so morally I was conflicted. I didn't have these moral dilemmas while drinking.

My question to you is, when this **** kicked off, should I have let the texting trail go cold with that chick as it inevitably did?

Kickapoo
6/01/2011 10:07pm,
How attractive was she?

Was she hardcore show attractive, or regular person attractive?

DKJr
6/01/2011 10:10pm,
A. Help your mate beat the **** of that punk.
B. Stay out of the fight.
C. Call security like a little bitch.
D. None of the above, take the punk's girlfriend and the texting chick have a threeway in the woods.

Most certainly D.

Ninnong
6/01/2011 11:07pm,
Rather than trying to coerce a girl into bed with an actual conversation, just send a picture of your genitalia. If not confident with your member's size, send a picture of someone else's shlong. She might be a little surprised when she finds out you aren't black but hell, I'm sure you'll manage to have a good time anyways.

Sang
6/01/2011 11:34pm,
You made the right call, your friend was a douche who deserved a beating. A man should be able to have a three way drunken kiss at a gig without some jealous drunken fool getting in his face telling him how to do it.

I hate friends who can't finish what they start. The majority of the fights I got into as a teenager were the result of a certain drunk Irishman who consistently bit off more than he could chew.

Colin
6/02/2011 12:01am,
Sang has the correct. Whether or not DYG was out of line with his girlfriend, your mate had no place butting in. As far as your position on what point should you help him, I think you have a pretty good idea of what responsible means, already.

CheeksWWAC
6/02/2011 1:00am,
Back in New York we had a saying; "Mind your own fucking business," and I was very good at it. Now I live in california and apparently people dont live by the same creedo so after three arrests in five years I dont go to shows anymore. If someone is doing something you dont like but its not hurting you or anyone else, mind your own fuckin business. If you got a problem with the way someone is doing business, its just that...YOUR problem. Pick the fight and finish the fight by yourself. You did right, just dont let your friends get put in the hospital or get jumped, but other than that he struck up the band so its his turn to dance.

Evergrey
6/02/2011 2:10am,
Depends on whether or not she enjoyed some light BDSM. Vanilla schmanilla.

Travis17
6/02/2011 3:02am,
Your friend is a ***** for wanting you to jump in. It was a 1v1 fight. Fair fight. He trains and it's likely the other guy doesn't. Does he actually need more of an advantage?

Obviously this doesn't apply if there are weapons involved or other people jump in, or your friend loses and is about to get seriously injured.

I have to agree with others too. He probably shouldn't have started a fight like that. You can't beat up every asshole in the world.

You had to put the phone up and make sure your friend didn't get hurt. That was the right thing to do in that situation, but I'm sure you already know that.

Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs
6/02/2011 3:28am,
This chap was being mildly forceful with his girlfriend


I read this like, that she didn't like to be treated in such a way.

So your friend was correct in his actions



I'm like, "you start a fight, you finish it". He then starts with the hypotheticals, what if his mate joined in? (Then his mate would have a problem) What if he started winning? (Take your beating like a man, he starts stomping then I step in) blah blah blah.


and you were correct in your actions.
Case closed.

Now I wasn't there, so I can't make a judgement how that DYG was acting with his girlfriend, but I personally consider "mind your own fucking business" attitude the cowards way out, especially if I get the feeling that it (DYG and the two girls in this case) could escualate in something nastier (beating, date-rape, etc...) if noone steps up.

Rzero
6/02/2011 3:38am,
Agree with all above. You did the right thing.

Ignorami
6/02/2011 3:42am,
If your friend needs help after picking fights at metal gigs, he should start fight picking them at Emo gigs and work his way up.

It's no different to any other kind of martial past-time. He was noob-spazzing, and should have started smaller. Whoop a couple of My Chemical Romance fans, build up to some Vaccines, and then start on the soft rock.

****, if he didn't already have the BJJ Purple, I'd suggest getting his eye in at a few Clannad gigs before he even went that far.

CheeksWWAC
6/02/2011 4:19am,
Now I wasn't there, so I can't make a judgement how that DYG was acting with his girlfriend, but I personally consider "mind your own fucking business" attitude the cowards way out, especially if I get the feeling that it (DYG and the two girls in this case) could escualate in something nastier (beating, date-rape, etc...) if noone steps up.

Ok, even though you inadvertantly refered to me as a coward Im not going to get all butt hurt, but I will expound on the statement I made earlier by pointing out that I said "If someone is doing something you dont like but its not hurting you or anyone else, mind your own fuckin business" I didnt take the OP story to mean that DYG was assaulting or seemed a viable threat to the young women, if it was the case then yes, stepping in is warranted. That being said, DYG being a little crass to his woman isn't a rare occurance and speaking from personal experience when you ride in thinking youre the white knight in the situation a lot of times the woman being disrespected by her man will rabidly defend her DYG and you very well might catch some legal trouble or at the very least be removed from the bar/concert for your effort without as little much as a thank you from the girl. Trying to be a violent Dr.Phil doesnt prove you're not a coward, and it definitely doesnt make you seem like a hero. It makes you into an asshole that can't go anywhere because he's looking to beat some idiots ass for any reason and ruin his friends night. The best way to handle the situation in question IMO would have been to bring over two beers for DYG and his girl and ask the girl if she was ok if you thought there was a bad situation happening. For all you know she might have been into some "light BDSM" too. If DYG got all uppity at that point and de-escalation didnt work then **** it, have a go. But publicly **** talking someone that is dealing with HIS girl in front of everyone is inevitably going to end in a fight. Im not afraid to throwdown, but Im long passed the days of being the morality police at bars.

Syphilis
6/02/2011 5:04am,
^^ Pretty right.

Your (Purple) friends way might not have been the DYG + GF's way.


Also, a purple belt that can't submit a regular guy, drunk or not. For shame.

Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs
6/02/2011 6:38am,
Ok, even though you inadvertantly refered to me as a coward Im not going to get all butt hurt, but I will expound on the statement I made earlier by pointing out that I said "If someone is doing something you dont like but its not hurting you or anyone else, mind your own fuckin business" I didnt take the OP story to mean that DYG was assaulting or seemed a viable threat to the young women, if it was the case then yes, stepping in is warranted. That being said, DYG being a little crass to his woman isn't a rare occurance and speaking from personal experience when you ride in thinking youre the white knight in the situation a lot of times the woman being disrespected by her man will rabidly defend her DYG and you very well might catch some legal trouble or at the very least be removed from the bar/concert for your effort without as little much as a thank you from the girl. Trying to be a violent Dr.Phil doesnt prove you're not a coward, and it definitely doesnt make you seem like a hero. It makes you into an asshole that can't go anywhere because he's looking to beat some idiots ass for any reason and ruin his friends night. The best way to handle the situation in question IMO would have been to bring over two beers for DYG and his girl and ask the girl if she was ok if you thought there was a bad situation happening. For all you know she might have been into some "light BDSM" too. If DYG got all uppity at that point and de-escalation didnt work then **** it, have a go. But publicly **** talking someone that is dealing with HIS girl in front of everyone is inevitably going to end in a fight. Im not afraid to throwdown, but Im long passed the days of being the morality police at bars.

Did I quote you in my original post? No, than I wasn't talking to you or over you.

That's the benefit about using quotes, you can give an opinion or start a conversation/discussion on a forum.

Like I said before, I wasn't there and can't therefor judge on the situation that was present at the time or the way to de-escualate the situation ( walk away, joke, beer, fist in face).
I made a comment on "the mind your own business" attitude that I have witnessed in person from people used to rationalize not stepping up when seeing behaviour that isn't acceptable in our society.

I have never met you in person, so I don't know if you are a coward or not and therefor I can't and won't pass judgement on that fact and since you have never met me, you can't be sure if I am an asshole or not.

Tom .C
6/02/2011 6:57am,
I just can't find the morality question hidden anywhere in that story. Is this a trick question? If it is, my answer is 14. As for your friend, cudos to him for controlling the behavior of everyone around him. Someday he may become a super hero or buzz killer or the dickhead that people used to claim "was harshing their mellow" or something like that..