View Full Version : Martial arts spoiler alert!

Pages : [1] 2

1/10/2011 7:50pm,

Unrivaled groundfighting BJJ

Good stand up grappling and cheap Judo

Fantastic striking Muay Thai

You're gay every martial art

Holy Moment
1/10/2011 7:54pm,
Pffft. This analysis is better:


boxing= best knockouts

tae kwon do= best kicks

sambo= best counters

greco roman wrestling= best grapples

ninjitsu= best techniques

wushu= most balanced

muay thia= most powerful

karate= best karate chops?

tia chi= best mental stability

jeet kune do= total style

*kung-fu*= all of these put together

just a food chain that i made up with martial arts styles. some styles i didnt put in there becuase i didnt have anything for them. tell me what i should and shouldnt have done.

1/10/2011 9:08pm,
Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?

1/10/2011 11:09pm,
Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?


five character limit.

1/11/2011 3:37am,
The David Attenborough version

Unrivaled groundfighting:


Good stand-up grappling:


Fantastic Striking:


You're gay:


1/11/2011 8:19am,
The David Attenborough version

You're gay:



1/11/2011 5:36pm,
Pffft. This analysis is better:


This was on the same page

My Martial Arts Chain:

Boxing= Best Punching

Muay Thai/Kickboxing/Kyokushin= Best kicking and striking other than punching.

BJJ/ Sub.Grappling( Sambo, Judo, Shootfighting, Catch, etc.)= Best submissions, controling, ground strategy.

Freestyle/Collegiate Wrestling= Best Lower Body Takedowns, positioning.

Greco-Roman Wrestling/Judo( Sambo, etc.)= Upper-body takedowns, throwing.

MMA/Vale Tudo/Pankration/ Shootfighting= All of these put together. Great competition.

Firearm Training= Best Weapons.

Taekwondo= Big variety of wimpy kicks.

Ninjitsu= Live action roleplaying.

Jeet Kune Do= Bruce Lee wannabes.

RSBD= Defense against supernatural beings.

Aikido= Best defense against compliant attackers who want to kill you by grabbing your wrist.

Sumo= Praise to Yarbrough!

Wing Chun=Theories over proof.

Holy Moment
1/11/2011 6:35pm,
Praise to Yarborough!!!


1/11/2011 9:41pm,
Taekwondo= Big variety of wimpy kicks.

Yep. A thousand different ways to wave your foot through a beautiful arc in empty space.

1/11/2011 10:07pm,
Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?

Yeah dude, ever try Chin-Na?!

Where's Kyo in all this? :(

Holy Moment
1/11/2011 10:08pm,
I have to be honest, I wrote the second list on that Bruce vs. Jackie page. It was a few years back when I really had a gong ho attitude about confronting every bullshidoka that crossed my path.

Back when Bruce vs. Jackie still had an active community, it was an awe-inspiring purveyor of both hilarity and retardity. If any one of the old members started posting here, he'd immediately be written off as a terrible troll and probably get banned after spamming the board out of frustration. I make it a point to dig up a gem from it wheneve I can:


you guys are dumb. in game of death, do you know the huge black guy, that did kick. and had a leg reach of 7 feet. and bruce did infact beat him in the movie, and also in a sparring match in real life. his name was kareem abdul jabar. they named a type of steel after that guy. and ppl say that if he was a boxer he would quickly beat mike tyson. and mike wouldnt be tall enough to bite his ear off, lol. so theres your answere, bruce beat a guy that can beat mike tyson, and he beat him in real life too. bruce also did boxing. bruce would do 9 punches in 1 second, there were times when he was really energetic, like super energetic, where he can do 10 per second. he aslo can do the 1 hit knock out punch, that only the biggest boxer can do at times. so theres your answere, bruce would win.

1/12/2011 2:09pm,
I can actually hear my brain cells dying as I read that.

Holy Moment
1/12/2011 3:28pm,
I can actually hear my brain cells dying as I read that.

Yeah, I know. It's kind of like someone's popping bubblewrap inside your skull. Here's some more to help us die quickly so we won't have to live as vegetables:


First of all boxing isnt that good. All u people out there always saying that boxers have stamina, so do martial artists. They dont sit there thowing their punches as slow as possible, they practice on their speed also. Im in Martial Arts, and ive seen boxers challenge the teachers....trust me, boxers stand no chance. Go do urself favors and get books on Bruce Lee and read em. Bruce would destroy Ali.

There were almost two hundred comments on that page, and I picked the one above completely at random without reading it. Odds are it's completely retarded, but I'll only know after posting it.

1/12/2011 3:42pm,
"Best of the Best 2" is all the evidence I need...


Clearly demonstrates the truth of this!

1/12/2011 3:44pm,
"Best of the Best 2" is all the evidence I need...

To clarify, Best of the Best 2 is all the evidence I'll ever need of anything, ever.

twisted mind
1/12/2011 4:25pm,
I can actually hear my brain cells dying as I read that.

My thoughts exactly.

Since the Bruce Lee angle has arisen in that awful paragraph, I give you this: