Categories: BS Health News

Don’t Get Burned by BS “Eclipse Glasses”

The solar eclipse is happening August 21st and people are cashing in… at the expense of your eyeballs. Without proper eye wear, you can easily damage the sensitive rods and cones of the eyes. And because your retinas have no pain receptors, the damage to your eyes might go unnoticed until it’s far too late:

When a person looks repeatedly or for a long time at the Sun without proper protection for the eyes, this photochemical retinal damage may be accompanied by a thermal injury – the high level of visible and near-infrared radiation causes heating that literally cooks the exposed tissue. This thermal injury or photocoagulation destroys the rods and cones, creating a small blind area. The danger to vision is significant because photic retinal injuries occur without any feeling of pain (there are no pain receptors in the retina), and the visual effects do not occur for at least several hours after the damage is done [Pitts, 1993].

Artist’s recreation of what it’s like to burn out your retinas… if you’re a vampire living in a cartoon fantasy land with a buddy who has a kickass dog bro

Unfortunately, the scale of anticipation for this rare event draws assholes looking to make an extra buck off the unwitting. Literally anyone with cardboard and tinted plastic can slap together some “eclipse glasses” and sell them to the public, but that’s not much better for protecting your eyes than looking between your fingers or wearing 3D glasses like you’re a cool kid douchebag from the 1950’s.

Fashion trends come and go, but you can always spot the d-bag by his idiotic choice in sunglasses

 

“It’s all nonsense,” said Mark Margolis, of NASA-approved Rainbow Symphony. “There are a zillion companies putting out the same product and they all have different names. And this isn’t because I don’t want competition in the marketplace. We’re oversold and on backorder. It’s not my motive to keep competitors out of the market.”

Protect Your Peepers

Here are the NASA-approved manufacturers of safety glasses for the eclipse:

More Info

Nasa’s Solar Eclipse Website

Best sites in the US for watching the eclipse:

Residents of some of these towns might opt for going without eye protection to due to the local scenery/fauna

Share
Published by
Phrost

Recent Posts

These Heroes Just Pulled Off the Greatest Academic Hoax of the Modern Age

It's 4 AM CST as we're typing this, and in a few hours a lot of people are going to…

2 weeks ago

People who think this way are more prone to believe Conspiracy Theories

...and as the saying goes, sometimes the reason is because you're stupid and make bad decisions. A recent study out…

2 months ago

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: How the Internet Ruined Politics

The year was 1993. All jeans were "mom jeans", and Saved By The Bell was still poisoning the minds of the…

2 months ago

No Reasonable Person Would Believe What Alex Jones Says, say Alex Jones’ Attorneys

Leonard Pozner is the father of a six year old named Noah. Noah was murdered in his classroom in 2012.…

3 months ago

How to Argue Like a Badass, Not a Dumbass

Everyone hates those "One Simple Trick...!" articles. But some things really are simple. If you want to lose weight, you…

3 months ago

This Article Proves I’m Right and You’re Wrong

After extensive research backed by longitudinal meta-analysis and careful cross-sectional population sampling, a team of academics and scientists have recently…

5 months ago