Categories: Fake News News

Alex Jones’ Legal Strategy: It’s All An Act

Conspiracy theorist and Super Saiyan, Alex Jones, is getting divorced. His wife–who we’ll call “Chi Chi” in both a half-assed attempt to protect her identity and run the Dragonball reference into the ground–seems to have gotten fed up with his gravel-throated, ranting nonsense and paranoia and is taking a ride on a cloud to planet Namek.

Too much? Well at least it didn’t take us 30 episodes to get to the point.

Image almost courtesy of Infowars.com. Sorta. Who gives a shit?

Mrs. Jones claims her husband’s on-air persona is no different than their family life.

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

“I’m concerned that he is engaged in felonious behavior, threatening a member of Congress,” she said, referring to his recent comments about California Democrat Adam Schiff. “He broadcasts from home. The children are there, watching him broadcast.”

Jones Defense?

In order to refute accusations of Jones’ antics reflecting on his ability to be a responsible parent, his attorney, Randall Wilhite, stated in a pretrial hearing that Jones is a “performance artist”, and that judging him based on his performances on InfoWars “would be like evaluating Jack Nicholson based on his interpretation of the Joker in Batman”.

So there you have it folks, Alex Jones, darling of the tinfoil hat brigade and “friend” of President Donald Trump, is a performer, and possibly minor super-villain.

Come to think of it, he does kinda look like Majin Buu…

Read more about this via the Austin-American Statesman.

 

What the hell’s with all the Dragonball Z references anyway? Oh, here:

View Comments

Recent Posts

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: How the Internet Ruined Politics

The year was 1993. All jeans were "mom jeans", and Saved By The Bell was still poisoning the minds of the…

2 weeks ago

No Reasonable Person Would Believe What Alex Jones Says, say Alex Jones’ Attorneys

Leonard Pozner is the father of a six year old named Noah. Noah was murdered in his classroom in 2012.…

2 weeks ago

How to Argue Like a Badass, Not a Dumbass

Everyone hates those "One Simple Trick...!" articles. But some things really are simple. If you want to lose weight, you…

1 month ago

This Article Proves I’m Right and You’re Wrong

After extensive research backed by longitudinal meta-analysis and careful cross-sectional population sampling, a team of academics and scientists have recently…

3 months ago

Bare-knuckle Boxing Returns to the United States

After 130 years, the state of Wyoming has decided to let boxers "knuckle up", under the old school, but arguably…

3 months ago

Old School Karate? Cobra Kai’s Fangs Examined

The 1984 movie The Karate Kid was a stereotypical coming-of-age story that was once embraced by a generation without question.…

3 months ago