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  1. battlefields is offline
    battlefields's Avatar

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    Australia, Land of Oz
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    Posted On:
    8/25/2010 11:56pm

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    DerAuslander is correct and I also agree that sexual assault on ANYONE is disgusting. Some of the dispute comes from certain groups looking to further an agenda, where women are informed during the gathering of information that sexual assault can include times where the woman has simply regretted sleeping with a man.

    As a friend told me recently, there are three types of lies in this world, little white lies, big black lies and statistics.
  2. patfromlogan is offline
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    Heavyweight

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    Hilo Island of Hawaii
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    Posted On:
    8/26/2010 12:07am

    supporting member
     Style: Kyokushinkai / Kajukenbo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    first to those who haven't read the whole thread (do so), my daughter was attacked. He failed. She's a black belt in karate.

    Quote Originally Posted by DerAuslander108 View Post
    Just so you gentlemen know, while I abhore & am disgusted by any attempt to sexual assault any woman...the 1/4 & 1/3 of all girls/women/chromosome statestics are widely disputed.
    I don't doubt it, but I seem to be able to find lots of footnotes to support stuff like these:

    * 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
    * Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
    * An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

    http://www.darkness2light.org/knowab...atistics_2.asp

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape

    http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/ace/prevalence.htm

    the darkness to light sources read like the below and there are lots..
    Wyatt, G., Loeb, T. B., Solis, B., Carmona, J., & Romero, G. (1999). The prevalence and circumstances of child sexual abuse: Changes acros a decade. Child Abuse & Neglect, 23, 45-60.

    Trocmť, N., & Schumaker, K. (1999). Repor ted child sexual abuse in Canadian schools and recreational facilities: Implications for developing effective prevention strategies. Children and Youth Services Review, 21, 621-642.

    Finkelhor, D., Hotaling, G., Lewis, I.A., & Smith, C. (1990). Sexual abuse in a national survey of adult men and women: Prevalence, characteristics and risk factors. Child Abuse & Neglect, 14, 19-28.

    Abel, G., Becker, J., Mittelman , M., Cunningham- Rathner, J., Rouleau, J., & Murphy, W. (1987). Self reported sex crimes on non-incarcerated paraphiliacs. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 2(1), 3-25.

    Bolen, R. & Scannapieco, M. (1999). Prevalence of child sexual abuse: A corrective meta-analysis. Social Service Review, 73, 281-313.
    "Preparing mentally, the most important thing is, if you aren't doing it for the love of it, then don't do it." - Benny Urquidez
  3. jake8267 is offline

    Featherweight

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Illinois
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    55

    Posted On:
    8/26/2010 8:19am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Not Currently Training

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I understand that the 1/4 to 1/3 stats are disputed. The problem with these stats is that you cannot rely on attacks reported to police are minimal compared to the number that actually occur (the exact percentage of under reporting is debated, but the fact that these attacks are under reported has close to 100% acceptance). Some groups say the numbers are higher and some report them as lower - basically the 1/3 is used as a compromise / average.

    Also, while we seem to be focused on rape (worst case I know) the fact is that more people than not face violent crime (in the US) so preparing your children to take care of themselves (when old enough to be by themself) is simply the responsible thing to do.

    I agree that paranoid is not the correct word choice here - aware or realistic would be much better choices.
  4. Mo_Fo is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    8/26/2010 11:18am


     Style: BJJ, Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'm sorry ...I don't think I would want to tell my daughter afterwards that I'm sorry something happened but I never helped her learn self defence because the statistics were with her. However, if I had her learn self defense and she never have to use those skills to defend herself, I will be a very happy Dad. Better safe than sorry, in my humble opinion.
    I have a great place my little girl trains at, she loves it, we don't push it- there are those days she doesn't want to train (don't we all have those days) and we don't make her go. Then a coupld hours later she gets bummed she didn't go. She gets to roll with other little girls, and for her birthday last year (5) all she wanted was a pink booster seat and a pink gi (she is quite the princess). The instructors are adults (a very solid lineage black belt as well as the blue belt assistants that work with him), in fact the professor is also one of my professors in the adult classes.
    Oh, and she has been at it now for over a year and a half. The professors are waiting until she is 6 to give her her yellow belt. It's awesome.
  5. Petter is offline

    12th level logic wielder

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    Vancouver, BC
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    Posted On:
    8/26/2010 2:10pm


     Style: BJJ, judo, rapier

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_Fo View Post
    I'm sorry ...I don't think I would want to tell my daughter afterwards that I'm sorry something happened but I never helped her learn self defence because the statistics were with her. However, if I had her learn self defense and she never have to use those skills to defend herself, I will be a very happy Dad. Better safe than sorry, in my humble opinion.
    Moderation is key. I donít think anyone here has ever argued, or would ever argue, that knowing some solid self defence is a bad thing. The people cautioning against paranoia are (at least in my case, and I suppose in most or all) cautioning against paranoiaóby all means prepare your children for the real world, but at the same time be aware of media bias and the disproportionate effect of horror stories: E.g., let your kid do judo, but donít make her grow up thinking that every stranger is a predator, and donít forbid her from ever walking more than half a block from her home. To make my point clear with a reductio ad absurdam, I think it would be better to be a happy, well-adjusted person with a 10% risk of eventually becoming victim to violent crime, than a person who is completely risk-free but lives locked up in a safe room.

    Everybody dies eventually; itís good to stay safe, but you have to weigh risks and benefits. Gotta enjoy the ride while it lasts, after all; you only live once.

    And keep in mind, too, as has already been pointed out, that most violence, especially sexual violence, done to women, is not perpetrated by strangers, but by family members or spouses. Thus, it may be more important to raise a child who is confident, open, and honest (so you know at once if someone around her is behaving inappropriately), and as an adult has the psychological fortitude to refuse to put up with any **** from a partner.

    Once again, no one is saying itís anything but a good thing for people to know self defence, women especiallyóonly, keep a sound perspective grounded in reality.
    [ petterhaggholm.net | blog | essays ]
    [ self defence: general thoughts | bjj: ďdonít go to the groundĒ? ]
    ďThe plural of anecdote is anecdotes, not data
  6. Mo_Fo is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    8/26/2010 4:13pm


     Style: BJJ, Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Petter View Post
    Moderation is key. I donít think anyone here has ever argued, or would ever argue, that knowing some solid self defence is a bad thing. The people cautioning against paranoia are (at least in my case, and I suppose in most or all) cautioning against paranoiaóby all means prepare your children for the real world, but at the same time be aware of media bias and the disproportionate effect of horror stories: E.g., let your kid do judo, but donít make her grow up thinking that every stranger is a predator, and donít forbid her from ever walking more than half a block from her home. To make my point clear with a reductio ad absurdam, I think it would be better to be a happy, well-adjusted person with a 10% risk of eventually becoming victim to violent crime, than a person who is completely risk-free but lives locked up in a safe room.

    Everybody dies eventually; itís good to stay safe, but you have to weigh risks and benefits. Gotta enjoy the ride while it lasts, after all; you only live once.

    And keep in mind, too, as has already been pointed out, that most violence, especially sexual violence, done to women, is not perpetrated by strangers, but by family members or spouses. Thus, it may be more important to raise a child who is confident, open, and honest (so you know at once if someone around her is behaving inappropriately), and as an adult has the psychological fortitude to refuse to put up with any **** from a partner.

    Once again, no one is saying itís anything but a good thing for people to know self defence, women especiallyóonly, keep a sound perspective grounded in reality.
    Well said and I agree. We are on the same page it seems.
    I also keep "bug-out-bags" for each member of my family in case a natural disaster ever occurs, but I'm not somebody who checks the USGS site every other hour. It's just a matter of being prepared to deal with situations if they did arise rather than wishing afterwards that you had. It's not being paranoid, just prepared. Yes, you are very correct, moderation is key.
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