All right, let's go over this guy's training schedule.
-One lap in the pool. Start off with breast stroke, don't have enough upper body strength to get proper height, quit and do front stroke, lazy backstroke on the way back. Get out of pool and flash abs.
-Water break, put on sponsor gear.
-Pan shot on wall of trophies, insinuate they're all won by the guy. They're not.
-Medicine ball drills. Wear spandex pants for maximum efficiency.
-Treadmill time. Mention to pretty girl how tight abs are feeling today.
-Shadowbox like a 6-year-old boy who just finished watching Ninja Turtles.
-Punch dummy in between throwing medicine ball. Wait for viewer to question what it's for before immediately dropping to push-ups because that drill was boring.
-Crunches. Mention to trainer how tight abs are feeling today.
-In the laboratory, do leg lifts without keeping ass in seat to bolster ratings and downplay lack of increase in strength. Emphasize with tiger face.
-Listen to coach somewhere in a park. Stretch provocatively, then check watch to subtly indicate he's talking for too long.
-Sprint up six stairs. Another six stairs. And again. And again. And again. And again.
-Do the Can-Can over hurdles.
-Continue dancing around and over hurdles.
-Play hopscotch with hurdles.
-Leg lifts. Spandex pants increase dick-grinding into seat efficiency by 20%.
-Deadlift. Drop weights like a douchebag.
-Put retarded amount of weight onto bar for squats. Get halfway into motion, realize leg tendons are snapping and get out of it. Make tiger face to cover shame. Do again at urging of trainer. Drop weights again like a total douche.
-Swing legs up and down from boredom.
-Hammer row standing up. Destroy point of exercise by pushing with the help of legs.
-Swing legs in the air some more.
-Hyperactive dips. Don't complete a single good rep.
-Climb up sides of pull-up bar to look cool. Do pull-ups.
-Ride motorcycle to another bad 80s song.
-Punch the air with buddies. Half-ass punches while they try really hard.
-Switch legs around over and over in deep stances while punching, ignore possibility of ever fighting a wrestler.
-Do same combo to spastic buddy multiple times.
-Focus mitts to reinforce combos used to beat on compliant friend. Don't forget to tell editor to use slow motion for JUMP KICK!
-Punch heavy bag. Don't wear gloves or wraps because they're for pussies.
-Make white belt mistake and lower hands while kicking.
-Punch wall makiwara without any rotation in the arms or hips.
-Do kata similar to bodybuilding posing. Mention to buddy how tight abs feel today.
-Let buddies punch stomach. Flinch on every hit.
-Kick pad. More slow motion.
-Flash abs. Get in tub. Mention to trainer again how tight abs feel today.
-Get creepy rubdown.
-Have someone else ice shoulder. Tell him to switch shoulders, using opportunity to sneak in intimate touch. Mention how tight abs are feeling today.
Sounds like a winner to me.
Sure, most of the other sports like boxing, muaythai, kyokushin really have and train anti-wrestling moves, especially since they don't ignore possibility of suddenly fighting a wrestler in their sport.
Originally Posted by helmutlvx
:D I love your objective and informative post, cause obviously he is a douche and his training is ALL in that montage with music, entertaining.
get over yourself :D
Last edited by aznraven; 8/10/2010 11:24pm at .
I love the way how during all those flurries the "victim's" head never snaps around.
Funny how this guy trains harder then most of the people that post here.
Yeah, training hard to be a spazzy mega-douche.
Originally Posted by Squerlli
Seriously, a lil' fella like you could mop the floor with this guy. Hell, even Sirc could beat him.
Originally Posted by Kid Miracleman
Yeah people who do sports karate aren't worth ****, especially if they train hard for it. Plus it's also not MMA so that's another stupid thing about it.
People who train hard to do gymnastics are also ****, because an MMA guy could kick their ass.
Oh look isn't that cute Squirelli has entered his newest phase.
Originally Posted by Squerlli
At first I thought you had a good point. Then I realised that I was wrong because this is Bullshido, which is about good martial arts, wherefore we should expect the perspective here to be about evaluating things qua martial arts. I think gymnastics are ****, if you present them as martial arts (Gymkata notwithstanding…). Notice how people don’t seem to post about gymnastics here, or speedskating, or hockey, or any other sport—even if they do take enormous amounts of talent, skill, determination, and hard work.
Originally Posted by RealManOfSteel
In a different context, this guy is surely more of an athlete than virtually anyone on these boards. But qua martial artist; qua fighter?
Yea, sports karate tournament are somewhat like fencing tournaments, they aren't about combat fighting. Simply displaying of skills of what is thought of as important, like what Maofas said in another thread.
Guys being to beat him up does not disqualify his skill in his sport. He is a sportsman, an athlete.
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