A Moral Dilemma

**Drake LaMancha** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 4:42pm

My fellow bullies I face a moral dilemma, as a member of this comm I am morally opposed to teaching BS martial arts but I believe I could be missing a great financial opportunity. So let me show my plan and you my fellow bullies may pass judgment and help me decide.
First I am going to hire the fat stupid guy from the shopping network sword stabbing, you know the guy who said," I believe we are in need of medical assistance here in thee studio." Or I will just use his style of talking and do the selling myself. What am I selling? you ask, well read the script for the monologue and find out!

I will be in one of those cheesy ma studios with all these asian weapons around me and on a table in front of me will be the collection of vids I will be hawking.
" Hello friends, Are you afraid to go out at night? Do you fear the overwhelming hordes of homeless psychopaths, rapists, muggers, and zombies?! Well you need fear them no more with my new line of products. Yes you can be a street ninjer! Yes a street ninjer, with my vids and products you no longer need to be a pasty faced, doughy fleshed, nerd. NO you can now be a pasty faced doughy fleshed, street ninjer. Imagine the respect you will get learning the ancient Korean ninjer secrets as taught by chozon ninja himself. He will show you the secret arts that kept Korea an independent and sovereign nation for over 2000 years. Do not believe the propaganda spouted by such unreliable sources as history books as you and I both know the truth can be only found on the intrawebz."
We also have the complete collection of Phil Elmore videos and books learn all of his deadly tricks, like strengthening your grip to near superhuman by profusely masturbating or giving handjobs if you can't find your own penor . also learn how to completely satisfy a woman by gathering your belly fat and forming a pseudopenor like master Elmore does for all the women lined up for his definitely alpha male love"
Thhat is all I have come up with at this time but I think this could finally put me in the tax bracket of my dreams. Money will pour from the heavens, nerds will idolize me, larpers wil finally think I am good enough to join them in thier games. Yes I think this is a good idea.:ninja7::ninjafigh

**vaquero de las nalgas** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 4:45pm

Originally Posted by Drake LaMancha

My fellow bullies I face a moral dilemma, as a member of this comm I am morally opposed to teaching BS martial arts but I believe I could be missing a great financial opportunity. So let me show my plan and you my fellow bullies may pass judgment and help me decide.
First I am going to hire the fat stupid guy from the shopping network sword stabbing, you know the guy who said," I believe we are in need of medical assistance here in thee studio." Or I will just use his style of talking and do the selling myself. What am I selling? you ask, well read the script for the monologue and find out!

I will be in one of those cheesy ma studios with all these asian weapons around me and on a table in front of me will be the collection of vids I will be hawking.
" Hello friends, Are you afraid to go out at night? Do you fear the overwhelming hordes of homeless psychopaths, rapists, muggers, and zombies?! Well you need fear them no more with my new line of products. Yes you can be a street ninjer! Yes a street ninjer, with my vids and products you no longer need to be a pasty faced, doughy fleshed, nerd. NO you can now be a pasty faced doughy fleshed, street ninjer. Imagine the respect you will get learning the ancient Korean ninjer secrets as taught by chozon ninja himself. He will show you the secret arts that kept Korea an independent and sovereign nation for over 2000 years. Do not believe the propaganda spouted by such unreliable sources as history books as you and I both know the truth can be only found on the intrawebz."
We also have the complete collection of Phil Elmore videos and books learn all of his deadly tricks, like strengthening your grip to near superhuman by profusely masturbating or giving handjobs if you can't find your own penor . also learn how to completely satisfy a woman by gathering your belly fat and forming a pseudopenor like master Elmore does for all the women lined up for his definitely alpha male love"
Thhat is all I have come up with at this time but I think this could finally put me in the tax bracket of my dreams. Money will pour from the heavens, nerds will idolize me, larpers wil finally think I am good enough to join them in thier games. Yes I think this is a good idea.:ninja7::ninjafigh

Don't forget to include a fake military and LEO background. And a kid's class.

**Drake LaMancha** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 4:55pm

good idea but why stop there maybe I can say I was in the foreign legion too

**helmutlvx** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 5:14pm

I think you also ought to have Greg Park giving Frank Dux a reach-around while Ralph Severe reads the Satanic Bible in the background

**judoist** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 5:21pm

Originally Posted by Drake LaMancha

good idea but why stop there maybe I can say I was in the foreign legion too

You also started life as an Aikido instructor in Japan.

**Rock Ape** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 5:39pm

Originally Posted by judoist

You also started life as an ninja-tai-jistu instructor in Japan.

Fixed that for more credibility

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 5:47pm

Did you forget to mention the fact that you have incorporated Brinnjutsu Concepts (having trained directly under O-Soke himself) and Wing Tsun tactical groundfighting into your system?

**helmutlvx** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 6:05pm

Also add that your jism tastes like Dom Perignon.

**Styygens** · Posted On: 7/31/2010 6:46pm

You did a stint with the CIA, but can't talk about it. Except for that night in Bangkok... And that night in Miss July...

Ralph Severe should read from the Simon Necronomicon - not the Satanic Bible - in the background. A Simon Necronomicon bound in leather made from human skin.

You also teach SWAT teams for your local departments on a pro bono basis.

You traveled the world mastering mystic martial arts from aboriginal cultures to earn an advanced degree from a correspondence school. You can now be called, "Professor."