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  1. Drake LaMancha is offline

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    Feb 2008
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    shawnee kansas
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    289

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 4:42pm


     Style: TKD/karate/jkd noob

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    A Moral Dilemma

    My fellow bullies I face a moral dilemma, as a member of this comm I am morally opposed to teaching BS martial arts but I believe I could be missing a great financial opportunity. So let me show my plan and you my fellow bullies may pass judgment and help me decide.
    First I am going to hire the fat stupid guy from the shopping network sword stabbing, you know the guy who said," I believe we are in need of medical assistance here in thee studio." Or I will just use his style of talking and do the selling myself. What am I selling? you ask, well read the script for the monologue and find out!

    I will be in one of those cheesy ma studios with all these asian weapons around me and on a table in front of me will be the collection of vids I will be hawking.
    " Hello friends, Are you afraid to go out at night? Do you fear the overwhelming hordes of homeless psychopaths, rapists, muggers, and zombies?! Well you need fear them no more with my new line of products. Yes you can be a street ninjer! Yes a street ninjer, with my vids and products you no longer need to be a pasty faced, doughy fleshed, nerd. NO you can now be a pasty faced doughy fleshed, street ninjer. Imagine the respect you will get learning the ancient Korean ninjer secrets as taught by chozon ninja himself. He will show you the secret arts that kept Korea an independent and sovereign nation for over 2000 years. Do not believe the propaganda spouted by such unreliable sources as history books as you and I both know the truth can be only found on the intrawebz."
    We also have the complete collection of Phil Elmore videos and books learn all of his deadly tricks, like strengthening your grip to near superhuman by profusely masturbating or giving handjobs if you can't find your own penor . also learn how to completely satisfy a woman by gathering your belly fat and forming a pseudopenor like master Elmore does for all the women lined up for his definitely alpha male love"
    Thhat is all I have come up with at this time but I think this could finally put me in the tax bracket of my dreams. Money will pour from the heavens, nerds will idolize me, larpers wil finally think I am good enough to join them in thier games. Yes I think this is a good idea.:ninja7::ninjafigh
  2. vaquero de las nalgas is offline
    vaquero de las nalgas's Avatar

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2008
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    PHX or thereabouts
    Posts
    843

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 4:45pm


     Style: Hsing I, Bagua, Chi kung

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Drake LaMancha View Post
    My fellow bullies I face a moral dilemma, as a member of this comm I am morally opposed to teaching BS martial arts but I believe I could be missing a great financial opportunity. So let me show my plan and you my fellow bullies may pass judgment and help me decide.
    First I am going to hire the fat stupid guy from the shopping network sword stabbing, you know the guy who said," I believe we are in need of medical assistance here in thee studio." Or I will just use his style of talking and do the selling myself. What am I selling? you ask, well read the script for the monologue and find out!

    I will be in one of those cheesy ma studios with all these asian weapons around me and on a table in front of me will be the collection of vids I will be hawking.
    " Hello friends, Are you afraid to go out at night? Do you fear the overwhelming hordes of homeless psychopaths, rapists, muggers, and zombies?! Well you need fear them no more with my new line of products. Yes you can be a street ninjer! Yes a street ninjer, with my vids and products you no longer need to be a pasty faced, doughy fleshed, nerd. NO you can now be a pasty faced doughy fleshed, street ninjer. Imagine the respect you will get learning the ancient Korean ninjer secrets as taught by chozon ninja himself. He will show you the secret arts that kept Korea an independent and sovereign nation for over 2000 years. Do not believe the propaganda spouted by such unreliable sources as history books as you and I both know the truth can be only found on the intrawebz."
    We also have the complete collection of Phil Elmore videos and books learn all of his deadly tricks, like strengthening your grip to near superhuman by profusely masturbating or giving handjobs if you can't find your own penor . also learn how to completely satisfy a woman by gathering your belly fat and forming a pseudopenor like master Elmore does for all the women lined up for his definitely alpha male love"
    Thhat is all I have come up with at this time but I think this could finally put me in the tax bracket of my dreams. Money will pour from the heavens, nerds will idolize me, larpers wil finally think I am good enough to join them in thier games. Yes I think this is a good idea.:ninja7::ninjafigh
    Don't forget to include a fake military and LEO background. And a kid's class.
  3. Drake LaMancha is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    shawnee kansas
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    289

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 4:55pm


     Style: TKD/karate/jkd noob

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    good idea but why stop there maybe I can say I was in the foreign legion too
  4. helmutlvx is offline

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    West Virginia
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    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 5:14pm


     Style: In transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think you also ought to have Greg Park giving Frank Dux a reach-around while Ralph Severe reads the Satanic Bible in the background
    Last edited by helmutlvx; 7/31/2010 5:20pm at .
  5. judoist is offline

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    Jun 2010
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    0.5 inches from the screen
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    466

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 5:21pm


     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Drake LaMancha View Post
    good idea but why stop there maybe I can say I was in the foreign legion too
    You also started life as an Aikido instructor in Japan.
  6. Rock Ape is offline
    Rock Ape's Avatar

    Watch and Shoot !

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    Mar 2006
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    10,135

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 5:39pm

    staff
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by judoist View Post
    You also started life as an ninja-tai-jistu instructor in Japan.
    Fixed that for more credibility
    "To sin by silence when one should protest makes cowards out of men".

    ~Ella Wheeler
  7. Larus marinus is offline
    Larus marinus's Avatar

    Banzai Buddy

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    Aug 2009
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    NW England
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    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 5:47pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Nothing - yet

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Did you forget to mention the fact that you have incorporated Brinnjutsu Concepts (having trained directly under O-Soke himself) and Wing Tsun tactical groundfighting into your system?
  8. helmutlvx is offline

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    Apr 2010
    Location
    West Virginia
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    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 6:05pm


     Style: In transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Also add that your jism tastes like Dom Perignon.
  9. Styygens is offline
    Styygens's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Mar 2009
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    Baltimore, Maryland
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    2,171

    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 6:46pm


     Style: BBT/BJJ/CJKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You did a stint with the CIA, but can't talk about it. Except for that night in Bangkok... And that night in Miss July...

    Ralph Severe should read from the Simon Necronomicon - not the Satanic Bible - in the background. A Simon Necronomicon bound in leather made from human skin.

    You also teach SWAT teams for your local departments on a pro bono basis.

    You traveled the world mastering mystic martial arts from aboriginal cultures to earn an advanced degree from a correspondence school. You can now be called, "Professor."
  10. helmutlvx is offline

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    Apr 2010
    Location
    West Virginia
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    Posted On:
    7/31/2010 6:53pm


     Style: In transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Styygens View Post
    A Simon Necronomicon bound in leather made from human skin.
    If you're gonna go in the Necronomicon direction, you might be better off with the Tyson version. Better stories.
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