A Situation

[Tonuzaba]

See if you can somehow get sex from her. Sex is awesome.

Oh, and don't forget video.

Either of sex or spine-breaking.

[Hiro Protagonist]

Pushups for everyone in this thread.

...Except for the Castlevania idiot.

[Evergrey]

Situation #1, you hit a trigger on accident, and had no way of knowing. You made certain to communicate with the woman, and work out just what DID happen. Sometimes when engaging in a high-energy activity as an authority figure that people find themselves letting their guard down with, stuff that has been buried comes up. Triggers people didn't know they had suddenly rear their heads. It is quite possible that she did not expect to have such a visceral reaction.

Trauma can do crazy things to a person. It can make them feel out of control. If they have full-blown PTSD, it becomes a physiological as well as psychological reaction, but even then, sometimes being exposed gently to a trigger in a safe, controlled environment can actually help. They can get the feeling that they are taking themselves back, owning their emotions and reactions in a rational fashion. That's pretty tricky though, and takes a lot of one-on-one time.

What I'd suggest for her is that now you know she is triggery, first let her know that she didn't do anything wrong and does not need to feel ashamed. Losing control and showing weakness can really shake the confidence of a trauma survivor. Be sure to let her know that she is safe at your school, and I'd suggest not doing things like sneaking up behind her. Be sure she knows there's someone there. With someone who is still undergoing the effects of a traumatic attack, surprises are not good. While she is undergoing some form of martial training, do not put TOO much pressure on her. Don't be too overly aggressive. Healing comes in stages, and she will need to feel safe. Continuing her training, however, will give her a sense of empowerment and confidence which she sorely needs.

The second woman- I understand your rage. I get like that too. If you do not feel that you can contain your emotions over the situation, then yes, see if your head instructor can handle private lessons. But I'd suggest encouraging her to take them. Often in an abusive relationship, the victim gets sucked into the reality bubble of the abuser and begins to believe that it's all their fault, somehow. That they must make themselves as small and meek as possible, and never make waves.

Martial arts can provide a focus and a sense of inner strength. Can she be taught enough to really defend herself effectively against him soon enough? I don't know about that. Maybe not. But then again, maybe she can learn something that will save her life, or the life of her child. More than that, though, it can help her develop a feeling of confidence, and she will need all the emotional balance that she can get during this custody battle. Also, encourage her to keep a record of everything her ex says and does that is threatening, as well as when he has said it. When picking up and dropping off her child for visitations, suggest she bring along a trusted friend as a witness, should he try anything.

In both cases, I would suggest encouraging the women to, if they can afford it, seek counseling through a psychologist who specializes in trauma and abuse survivors, respectively.

[Alucard619]

Thanks a lot for any advice offered. Really appreciate it. The main reason I pass it over to my head instructor is I don't have experience in dealing with victimized women so I feel it's best they handle it while I learn how o. But yes, both women have been encouraged to seek therapy.

[BackFistMonkey]

You are a fucking moron.

You just put two of your "students'" VERY personal problems on an open forum (ymas no less). If you were my assistant instructor I would wear your little 16 year old ass out, then take away your position maybe even your fucking rank.

That is why you shouldn't be teaching.

Thanks a lot for any advice offered. Really appreciate it. The main reason I pass it over to my head instructor is I don't have experience in dealing with victimized women so I feel it's best they handle it while I learn how o. But yes, both women have been encouraged to seek therapy.

[Snake Plissken]

teaching martial arts= one thing.

thank you, Curley

I felt like going to this guy and breaking his fucking spine.

He will beat seven shades of **** out of your fucking stupid worthless ass.

The main reason I pass it over to my head instructor is I don't have experience in dealing with victimized women

No, the reason you passed it off to the head instructor is because you are an ignorant 16 y/o fucktard with no life's experience whatsoever and like to pass off that you are learned on the internet and in the dojang.
You are ill-equipped for anything save telling lies about your life on Bullshido and, if this even really did happen, you probably felt a chill run into the pit of your stomach which immediately turned into an intense need to **** yourself out of fear of exposing your ignorance.
Stick to showing X-Blocks to 8 year olds

[Evergrey]

Ah jeez, he's 16? Yeah, definitely let the senior instructor handle this.

[jnp]

Why are you, a TKD junior instructor, teaching people anything about chokes? I was under the impression that there are no chokes in TKD.

[Snake Plissken]

He was teaching choke escapes
aka antigrappling

[maofas]

I just want to know what his TKD master is doing to help the abused woman. Did he: a) refer her to therapy/a battered women shelter/police or b) offer her a discount rate on a 2 year contract?