your own ma movie

**Mr. Mantis** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:02am

Originally posted by ronin69
... goes on killing spree for PURE amusment, kills with demented smile, takes out politicians first and then goes after ALL the lawyers, ...

Hmm, I sense some pent up aggression :rolleyes:

**kojindo** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:03am

So what happens in the climactic big end fight scene?

**virtual_mantis** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:03am

Just another weapon for the "Cold Ass Samurai" to utilize! WHEN UNLEASHED IT IS SWUNG LIKE A WRECKING BALL!

**virtual_mantis** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:06am

HE'S 500 YEARS OLD....

HE'S COLD....

HE'S PISSED.....

HE'S GOT A 20LB SCHLONG....

AND HE'S COMING TO YOUR TOWN....

COLD ASS SAMURAI! Coming SOON!

**Punisher** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:06am

I was in my own martial arts movie.

When I was a senior in highschool a guy from my dojo was dating the daughter of a guy that worked at the cable access station. He said if we made a movie he’d put it on.

The name of the movie was ““Informer””, and was intended to be loosely based spoof on action movies like Lethal Weapon, but also have some quality martial arts action, the idea the plot of movie was supposed to be funny, but the fighting serious. Please keep in mind I was doing American Kenpo at the time, so I had no idea what “serious” was. I was approached and asked if I was interested, and since I had been involved in my school’’s demo team for years and always wanted to do something like this, I jumped at the chance. My friend cast himself in the hero’’s role, and I was cast as the main villain. Together we worked on refining his base script, cast our friends in the remaining parts, and choreographed all the fights scenes, with me taking most of the responsibility for the later. Once we thought we had something decent we started shooting.

The basic plot was this, my buddy was a typical down on his luck cop, with an extremely sexy partner that he was always trying to score with, but always shuts him down. I was a cross-dressing, Satan worshiping, drug dealer who ran a gang of serial killers. While attempting to complete a drug transaction with a mystery man, who later turns out to be the Chief of Police and our hero’’s boss, our little gang of misfits is stumbled upon by a group of unlucky prostitutes. Worried that the prostitutes can identify him, the Chief orders my gang to take the whores out with extreme prejudice, and I happily attempt to comply with his request. The rest of the movie is basically me and my cronies trying to kill all the whores as the hero and his sexy ass partner try to stop us. The whole thing concluded with a big, spectacular, American Kenpo fight to the death scene between the hero and I. Here’’s a shocker, my character wont be making to the sequel.

This whole thing was extremely low tech and low budget. All we really had was a camcorder and a bunch of 18 to 20 year old kids, but somehow we seemed to make it work. The best thing about this whole thing was the chicks! It really is true that some girls will do almost anything for the chance to be on TV. Now don’’t get me wrong, some of the things we had to do to get the guy to agree to air the movie was to not have any nudity or strong cussing, so it wasn’’t like we ended up making a porno or something, but I was constantly amazed that girls that wouldn’’t give me the time of day at school would voluntarily agree to play the role of prostitutes and let me kiss, grope, fondle, and simulate killing their next to naked bodies on camera, all for no financial compensation what-so-ever. I even had a girl ask me to ““Grab her ass more”” to help her get more into a scene and with this particular girl all the on screen action resulted in some off screen private rehearsal time if you catch my drift.

My only regret through the whole thing was that we never really got to finish it. We only got about 75% done before the end of the summer and I had to pack up and go 2000 miles away to college. To my knowledge the only time any part was publicly shown was at my going away party, with the missing scenes replaced by stick figure storyboards and on the fly narration. We had plans on finishing the film the following summer, but never got together and the whole thing fell apart. I never even got a copy of what we were able to do. I saw my friend at a black belt reunion a few years back, and he told me he taped over all the raw footage with other things he was working on years before. Looking back on it now, it was probably for the best.

**Student** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:12am

Phrost - please forward my membership money to Punisher to pre-pay for my copy of his Smut tape.

**kojindo** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:20am

HaHa that's pretty cool Punisher. Good to see you were "rewarded" for your efforts.

**Walkman** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:26am

Crouching Geezer. Hidden Baldie.

The smash action film from Angus Lee!

Loosely based on the current life of Walkman, the story follows a middle-aged, bald and chubby martial arts has-been. Our hero finds himself starting over with training to regain his honor after a decade of the torturous "desk job". His body slowly turned to mush by that evil force (desk job), watch our hero cringe in pain trying to do moves his body once thought were easy. See how he struggles against the pain trying to kick above knee level. In the final battle scene, watch as he pants out of breath while his opponents mock him and call him "geezer" only to have him land the final blow using the super-secret Dim Mak strike in a triumphant last ditch effort.

"A summer must-see movie!"
-Bruce Lee

**kojindo** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:27am

I reckon I'd make a movie called Romeo vs. Juliet. Guy artist meets chick artist; they date/train/learn from each other until she fucks him over somehow and then he goes out to get his own back. Rival schools and ninja types are involved.

**Mr. Mantis** · Posted On: 2/25/2004 11:30am

I actually wrote part of the screenplay for this:

(Working)Title: We Warriors
Plot: UFO crashes in 1950's USA partially recovered by Govt, partially recovered by lead role. Govt. acquired parts necessary for space travel. Lead role acquires parts necessary for time travel.

Lead role is a MA'ist and criminal mind. He is aware of the space travel material and wants to steal it, but it is heavily guarded. He travels back in time (with his sexy companion) and recruits 5 of the baddest mofos in history to help him to do the break in.

While he is gone, the aliens return for their lost ship and decide to kick ass. The military is no match for them. Only the lead role and his warriors can save the day.

Hence the criminal becomes the hero in a bizzare twist of fate.