Ten things I have learned from interacting with my sensei.

**Evergrey** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 1:14am

This is just for fun.

Okay, okay, so I admit it... I'm kind of a troublemaker. And my sensei is the most wonderful teacher I could ask for. He is calm, kind, and patient. It is a great honor to be his kohai.

Also, while he takes the martial way quite seriously, and I do as well, we are by nature silly people, and he says to me, " However will you learn without making mistakes, or trying what you learned on your sensei?"

So here is the start of my ever-expanding list of stuff I have learned from interacting with my sensei.

1. Should you come upon your sensei sleeping in his car, and should you happen to have found a turkey feather out in the field, do not wake your sensei by sticking said feather in his ear. The consequences shall be dire.

2. Should your sensei happen to stick his butt out at you in the local Asian grocery store and indicate that you could easily take a shot at it, resist temptation, great as it may be. This is a trap. And, no one will help you when you say "Aaaaa sensei! Sensei noooo!"

3. If your sensei tells you "if you manage to punch me, it is my fault," he means in the dojo or training hall. He does not mean that you should punch him while he's standing up from petting the cat. If you are quite fortunate, you may get away with it one single time because he did not clarify. MAYBE.

4. Sure, out in the country you can attempt to overwhelm your sensei physically by getting up in his face and shoving with your body relentlessly... if you enjoy tasting clover unexpectedly. Actually, you should have expected to taste clover by now.

5. Should your sensei tickle you mercilessly (see #1,) do not threaten to swear vengeance. While it is an opportunity to learn about on and giri, he will not be intimidated, you will not be helping your case any, and the tickling will only become less merciful. The proper response that will finally stop the tickling is "I am sorry sensei, sticking a turkey feather in your ear while you slept was very disrespectful of me, and it was wrong of me to do so. Please accept my apologies?"

6. If your sensei is using a pressure point on you, and you counter by using a pressure point on him... and he starts laughing... think of that as a hint.

7. There are many great ways to mentally unbalance your opponent. However, it might not be wise to employ some of these methods when sparring with your sensei. Wetly licking his face, including his nose, for example. While it is funny for about half a second when he gets that "you. Did. NOT. Just. Do. That." look on his face, oh hello arm bar, hello floor, my old friend!

8. Do not, under any circumstances, engage in a battle of flatulence with your sensei. Remember, he can pin your ass down. And sometimes his gas is way worse than yours.

9. If you work with horses and your sensei does not, do not think that wielding the lead rope will give you an advantage. Sure, you can swing it at him. Sure, you might even hit him a couple times. But even though you are holding a "weapon," his entire body is a far greater weapon, so you are still at a disadvantage. Also, he WILL eventually get it away from you, and you WILL get some rope welts on your butt. Just sayin'.

10. Should you manage to pin your sensei in such a way that he cannot easily get out without harming you, which he is unwilling to do, do not taunt him overmuch. Eventually, if nothing else, you'll have to pee, so you'll have to let him up. If you are too disrespectful, you will be setting yourself up with an opportunity for another life-enriching learning experience. Hello again, floor...

**Emevas** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 1:26am

I don't like to travel. I think it stems from my childhood, when my father used to beat me with a globe.

**P Marsh** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 2:17am

Originally Posted by Emevas

I don't like to travel. I think it stems from my childhood, when my father used to beat me with a globe.

I take it he was a fan of the Washington Generals?

**Emevas** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 2:30am

Originally Posted by P Marsh

I take it he was a fan of the Washington Generals?

We didn't talk much.

**Evilenzo** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 2:44am

@Evergray: Super LOL, please continue!
Could "Never, EVER, try to hit on your Sensei's 17 years daughter" be accounted as a lesson from one's Sensei?:wbaba2

**Emevas** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 2:48am

What has happened here?

**syberia** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 5:52am

Originally Posted by Emevas

What has happened here?

I'm not entirely sure, but I'm still kind of confused as to why her sensei is tickling her.

Also, somewhere in that post there was licking. And not the good kind.

**aznraven** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 6:03am

Your sensei tickling you? Is your Sensei not a male? aren't you a female? boundaries?

**syberia** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 6:06am

That's what I wondered, but i recall from her intro thread she's his only student. They probably pretty close.

I wouldn't want my sensei tickling me. But that's because he wouldn't. He'd pin me and proceed to demonstrate how many chokes he could pull off from wherever he is.

**fourTwenty** · Posted On: 7/25/2010 6:12am

Nah, that **** was funny. Way funny.

And there is nothing inappropriate about a coach tickling you. We had a wrestling coach do that to help us learn to squirm away from.... Hey, wait a sec?!?