This is metal!!!

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 4:23am

Saw them on Sunday. Not a fan, although I respect them.

Highlight of Soundwave for me was Rob Zombie. He was late starting and I was pissed off because earlier in the day Slayer had pulled out at the last minute and i thought it was happening again, but I digress. Rob Zombie has not graced our shores for 16 years and even then, I was sure I would never hear a White Zombie song played live by the man himself, having watched as they split and I have no shame in saying, sacrificing a small child in order to have the decision reversed which in hindsight proved to me that Satan is not all powerful. Boy, was I wrong and fucking happy for being so. About never hearing White Zombie songs played live, I mean. If all he did was More Human than Human, I would've creamed my pants. The fact he did several meant my shorts had to be removed by the jaws of life, as the seminal crust that formed meant I was trapped in them.

I don't get much into black/death metal, but Dimmu Borgir fucking killed it live, even though I couldn't see them that well, their sound was gold. My disinterest in black/death is the length of song and the build up, always trying to build a mood then smashing through with aggression. Cool if you don't have severe undiagnosed disorder that causes a deficit of attention, if the psychiatric community ever decided to make one up.

Bullet for my Valentine failed to impress, even though I consider The Poison one of the best albums of all time. Bold statement, yep, I'm making it. Maybe not the voice as such, but those riffs are technically and emotionally brilliant. Oh yeah, he solo'd the Australian national anthem that had the crowd singing, which was cool.

The rest of the day was decent, the problems I had were scheduling and sound. How can you put Slayer on a side stage (even though they didn't play they were scheduled for outside the main arena)? Seriously, whoever put on the main arena stage whoever they are 30 Seconds From Venus or Mars or something, who gives a **** where they are from, nobody, **** you organisers, **** you until your eyes bleed semen, considering that I mean skull **** you through that hole in the back of your head that I would make after tearing your spine out with my bare hands.

And One Day As A Lion, Zack de la Rocha's band, **** there is another dude I thought I would never see, but the piddling little crowd in the fucking Arena was terrible. The music was cool, but seriously, at a metal festival, there were three "struggle to call them even hard rock" bands in the arena. Three. **** you again, organisers. Don't turn Soundwave into an attempt at a Big Day Out, who have already sold out like little pussies. Back in the day BDO hosted bands like Fear Factory, Soulfly and Korn. Now they host the Top of the Pops. Seriously, Soundwave organisers, I see this **** go downhill and the skull fucking aforementioned will be the final piece in my torture porn/ snuff movie without actors, a film I guarantee has been in the planning stage ever since I saw my first Disney character. It is an epic 24 hour blood fest, if you haven't caught on.

Also, as a joke, the night before the festival, I wanted to see how internet viral I could get, so, with the help of two 16 year old girls (**** you, its legal over here), we started a rumour that Iron Maiden had pulled out and Slayer were set to follow. I threw in that it had something to do with their agent and a tourbus. Well, within ten seconds someone completely out of the loop "confirmed" it, saying they were glad they weren't going now, and within an hour there were about 60 responses to our status'. Only about 5 of them were asking for proof. Then Slayer did pull out and I nearly shat my pants, if Maiden did as well, well, I would either be heiled as a metal god, or torn limb from limb for "causing it". Thank you Maiden.

**Dr. Fagbot Q. MacGillicuddy, PhD** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 9:29am

Guys, this is the metal thread. I think the thread where you say idiotic things about Iron Maiden's discography and call Dimmu Borgir black metal and talk about Bullet for My Valentine is over on posersandwimps.com.

**creativo** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 12:39pm

this thread need more fagbot.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 12:50pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDBBymiFoLA

**Killbot** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 2:37pm

Metal? I'll play.

(That's just the best fuckin' name for a band ever.)

Yeh motherfuckers, SOD.

One of my favorite bands of all time...

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 3:32pm

So the only metal that is metal is the metal you deem as metal? Suck my cock, fagbot.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 4:20pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUdbr1qSn-s

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 4:36pm

I have a gripe.

A lot of modern metal sucks ass because it is not music.

As a metal aficionado for decades..having seen many "metal eras" come and go, I have to say the current generations of crappy metal vocalists pisses me off.

To me, great metal requires three things: classical riffs, a thunderous wall of distorted sound, and epic vocals.

By epic vocals I mean Dio, Ozzy, Rob Halford, Bruce Dickinson, Dave Mustaine, Phil Anselmo epic. Each of these metal gods differentiated their band's sound due to vocals. Their music was metal, but it was also...musical.

Today, we are witnessing an utter de-evolution (i.e. crapification) of the genre, with a million+ Cookie Monster wannabees "singing" tunes over ultra fast drum and guitar. It all sounds the same. Little of it is any good, and I say this having a very well tuned ear for this type of music. I even taught myself how to play metal on my Les Paul, I love the genre so much.

Just because someone is screaming over loud metal riffing does NOT make it "metal".

To truly be "metal" a certain level of musicianship is required.

Harmony? Yes, good metal has it.

Melody??? YES, good metal has it.

Lyrics I can actually understand and that cause an emotional response? REQUIRED! (even if I really can't understand what the **** he's saying, I still need to get what he means. Case in point: Rob Zombie, "Thunder Kiss 65", no idea wtf Rob's saying, but he had me at "kicked down the hal-o").

If there is one band that can actually pull off indecipherable cookie monster lyrics, but still SOUND MUSICAL, it's Chris Barnes/Six Feet Under. Why? Because they practically created the form.

Which means there is Six Feet Under, and a thousand crappy modern metal bands (call them whatever subgenre you want to) who want to sound like Six Feet Under, but fail because they have no real musicianship other than "play power chord, drum at 500 bpm, scream loudly". **** that ****.

This is good metal:

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 3/03/2011 4:58pm

More good metal.

Why is Mastodon a such a standout band and considered one of the best progressive metal acts of the last decade?

Three words: Brent Hind's vocals.

Full video is worth a watch..."Divinations" is an epic metal track, and the rest of the album "Crack the Skye" is definitely worth your damned money.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 3/09/2011 5:36pm

RIP Mike Starr, the amazing bassist who helped lay down this epic track....died 3/8/2011.

I'm off to play AiC bass riffs all night long in his honor.

Because the song is so awesome, you'll want to hear them live (Mike is the guy playing the white bass).