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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    210
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Fighting advice for White Kimbo

    To White Kimbo,
    I've heard some people offer you advice on the bulld00ky free thread, but the problem is that I have the real deal for you. Visual stimulation. You have to repeatedly watch the scenes from "Bloodsport" where Frank Dux learns how to serve tea blind folded. The reason is that it's my understanding that you are legally blind, and this can help you. If you learn to serve the tea, and during the Kumite, you cross your eyes while screaming in slo-mo, you can be more effective. Of course you really don't have the time to learn to do the ballet kicks, but you can make up for it with the Bullshido Monkey Kung Fu video that was just posted YouTube- Bullshido.net Presents Lord Asia's Martial Arts Instructional Video

    That video is the best instructional I have ever seen. There are also some good Chi No Contact videos on Youtube.
    Good luck WK, and remember: KAMEHAMEHA!!! (only after achieving Super Saiyan 3 for effectiveness)
    Note:
    I didn't want to corrupt the bulld00ky free thread with this sage advice, so I started this one :eusa_whis

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Saint Paul, MN
    Posts
    162
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The reason is that it's my understanding that you are legally blind, and this can help you. If you learn to serve the tea, and during the Kumite, you cross your eyes while screaming in slo-mo, you can be more effective.
    I thought it was because you can never trust a ninjer, and the second you show mercy they will throw blinding powder in your eyes?

    Yes Danbo, we know all your tricks.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    676
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I want to see some liver shoots. @Wk don't just put him in a headlock. please. work on your roundhouse. The purpose of this bout is not to win but to dish out some pain.

  4. #4
    NOTE TO SELF - MOAR GRAPPLE - GET A NORMAL HAIR CUT - REPEAT supporting member
    Matt Phillips's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Bahstun
    Posts
    9,753
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LMFAO at "Anti-Paladin" press. I love you Phrost you giant Nerd!
    Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie


    KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao

    In De Janerio, in blackest night,
    Luta Livre flees the fight,
    Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
    Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!

  5. #5
    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn supporting member
    XXIV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mount Olive, NJ
    Posts
    544
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yes.

    Kimbo my advice to you as an experienced (ie 3 months) fighter is to take up 52 Blocks and Modern Wushu or Adidas Wuji. You will dominate the competition! It's obvious.

    I also suggest adding "Making Van Damme" faces into your shadowboxing routine when you warm up. Work your combos - Jab - Cross - Duck & Weave - Van Damme HUAAGH! - Cross - Hook

    Perhaps even study under Yellow Bamboo masters to truly harness your inner Chi power and rupture Bowen's organs from 100 feet away (only if he screams at you and runs towards you menacingly).

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    West Virginia
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    1,945
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You guys are all fucking idiots.

    He needs to learn two-handed broadsword techniques.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Pori, Finland
    Posts
    351
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    He should open the fight with this:

    YouTube- Falcon Punch

    It'll obliterate all Dan's ninjer friends so they can't backstab WK after the fight.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Im with stupid ^ (above poster)
    Posts
    238
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    at first, I thought the op video was serious LOL!.

  9. #9
    Styygens's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    2,178

  10. #10
    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn supporting member
    XXIV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mount Olive, NJ
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    544
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by helmutlvx View Post
    You guys are all fucking idiots.

    He needs to learn two-handed broadsword techniques.
    **** you dickhead, he needs dual hookswords.

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