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  1. Mr. Machette is offline

    Senior Member

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    Sep 2009
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    2,673

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 12:33pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FMA, Ego Warrior

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Help me, I am a disgusting fat body!

    Soooo, I'm out of shape. I mean, REALLY out of shape.

    I get out of breath walking up a hill. I have an pink inner tube around my waist where my abs should be. I'm at my highest weight ever (250lbs @ 5'11" tall.) This is messed up because I was in the best shape I'd been in for years before I took my current job, which has me sitting on ass in front of a computer all day. That started a year ago. Also, nightlife in my new home consists of seeing how much alcohol you can consume in a hour, and then trying to beat that record. The results of my endless reps of "16.oz curls" are dragging me down physically, and mentally too.

    I started doing push ups and bicycle crunches to get back into the habit of moving my fat ass around in a physical manner, and I'm starting to go swimming every weekend. I also have a jump rope, but so far I'm pretty useless with that, and I get winded after about five minutes of fumbling around with the thing.

    I guess I'm posting to ask for advice. Basic routines that are doable for someone who's as out of practice as I am. Where does someone like me start?
  2. SFGOON is offline
    SFGOON's Avatar

    and humble, too!

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    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    2,208

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 1:21pm


     Style: Systema, BJJ, Arrestling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    That fuckin' sucks. I'm going through almost the same thing, right now, and have been working my way out of it for about a month now. Here's what works;

    1.) Interval training. Hit a track and run some farlicks. 100M sprints followed by leisurely 100M walkings. This will build your endurance and get those sweet mitochondria working overtime with their dividing, thus enhancing your aerobic capacity. This will work whether you're a fatass or not.

    2.) If you have access to either kettlebells or sandbags, swings are a fantastic means of very quickly exhausting your entire body. This will have the same effect as above, while enhancing your upper body strength - particularly your forearms and back.

    3.) After you exhaust yourself and you're sore all over, just walk for 1/2 hour at a time at a moderate pace. This burns a lot of fat (fat metabolizes slowly so activities like walking actually burn more fat calories than sprints or jogging, which burn ATP and glucose, respectively.) Do this every day you don't interval train.

    4.) Get a good stretching routine in. This will un-do a lot of damage your recent lifestyle has caused you. Because you're sitting all day, you'll want to stretch your hip flexors and abs first and foremost. If you want specific stretches, just ask and I'll find you some good examples.

    5.) Start working on your eating habits. For me, starting the day with a bowl of oatmeal and scrambled eggs saves me from getting hungry at 2:00 and wolfing down candy out of desperation. Try to find the healthiest foods you like to eat, and make a ritual out of eating them.

    6.) If you must take weight-loss supplements, please refrain from doing so until your weight loss plateaus. Do take a multi-vitamin, and as you progress add pyruvate of some sort, and if need be some kind of appetite suppressant. Save "thermogenics" (stimulants such as ephedrine,) for the last ten pounds.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cullion
    You sound like a foaming-at-the-mouth-loon out of Dr. Strangelove.
    Sometimes, we put Ricin in the Cocaine. :ninja7:
  3. Robstafarian is offline
    Robstafarian's Avatar

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    Chesterfield, VA
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    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 1:50pm


     Style: None

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I was in a similar boat, though due to my disability and chronic fatigue, about nine months ago. The only advice I can add, with even an ounce of authority, to what SFGOON said is this: taking Creatine and Glutamine supplements might just make everything SFGOON said more realistic for you.

    I am obviously not a good exemplar, but I will testify ad infinitum that Creatine Ethyl Ester was a one dose cure for my chronic fatigue when I first tried it nine months ago. I have taken Glutamine for only one week at this point, but I can attest that it seems to finish what Creatine started. I am more alert, more rested after sleep, less sore, and more flexible. That last comment merits elaboration. I have cerebral palsy, specifically spastic diplegia, and I've spent the last two months gradually lowering the dosage of my daily muscle relaxer. I now take less than a quarter of the dose I took for 10 years, and I can honestly say that the Glutamine makes me feel like I'm on a higher dosage than I really am.
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    cuz FastPass on Indiana Jones was like being a ghetto rock star.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    But graffiti isn't a bowl of fruit...
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    Merely insulting you is not an ad hominem fallacy: them calling you an idiot would be ad hominem if they said "You are an idiot, therefore your argument is invalid."

    What is instead happening is thus:
    1. Your argument is bullshit.
    2. You keep repeating, and expanding upon, your argument.
    3. Therefore, you are an idiot.

    That isn't an ad hominem fallacy; that's inductive reasoning.
  4. Aodhan is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 1:55pm


     Style: ATA TKD, Hapkido

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SFGOON View Post
    That fuckin' sucks. I'm going through almost the same thing, right now, and have been working my way out of it for about a month now. Here's what works;

    1.) Interval training. Hit a track and run some farlicks. 100M sprints followed by leisurely 100M walkings. This will build your endurance and get those sweet mitochondria working overtime with their dividing, thus enhancing your aerobic capacity. This will work whether you're a fatass or not.

    3.) After you exhaust yourself and you're sore all over, just walk for 1/2 hour at a time at a moderate pace. This burns a lot of fat (fat metabolizes slowly so activities like walking actually burn more fat calories than sprints or jogging, which burn ATP and glucose, respectively.) Do this every day you don't interval train.

    4.) Get a good stretching routine in. This will un-do a lot of damage your recent lifestyle has caused you. Because you're sitting all day, you'll want to stretch your hip flexors and abs first and foremost. If you want specific stretches, just ask and I'll find you some good examples.
    1. Don't do that. Even with decent warmup, just running fartleks/wind sprints is a good way to pull a hamstring if you're not in shape. And running sprints will train you to run sprints. Won't do a thing for endurance.

    3. How is a fat calorie different from any other calorie (In the body as opposed to in food)? And ALL exercise uses ATP and glucose. It's the length and intensity that determines where it gets replenished from.

    4. How does stretching help eliminate fat/alchol? I agree on a good stretching routine, I'm just interested in your reasoning.

    To the OP:

    1. Put down the alcohol. It's ok (And even beneficial) to have a glass of wine, a beer in moderation, but pounding it down all the time will make you fat and destroy your liver.

    2. Walk. Walk/jog. Swim. Bike. Any kind of aerobic activity that you enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, you won't keep doing it. You want 20+ minutes of sustained HR at 60% or more of maximum, preferably 3+ times/week. (Here's a link with a ton of different formulas. The only way to calculate your own MHR is a functional test, but you can approximate with these: http://www.brianmac.co.uk/maxhr.htm ) Don't be discouraged if walking around the block puts you in the 80% zone to start, it's going to take a while to get back into shape.

    3. Start shifting your diet. I did the same thing when I started as a programmer, soda and donuts all the time. I went from 180 to 205. Don't 100% shift everything all at once, you'll soon fall off the wagon. Change a couple things every week. I go by the 80% rule, as long as 80% of what I consume is fairly healthy, I'm doing ok.

    4. Monitor your weight at the same time every day, and use week points as a benchmark. I weigh myself after I shower in the morning, and Monday morning is my checkpoint. You'll drop weight quickly in the beginning, slower later.

    If you have specific questions, reply or drop a PM.

    John
  5. Yoj is offline
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    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:13pm


     Style: Aikijujutsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    HAHAHA You fat chubber!

    Oh and I'm you're height and weight hehe, and up until a few months ago was boozing in a similar fashion, I quit that, sat on my ass a bit more though and ate, so I didn't lose any weight, currently I'm riding 8 miles or so of about 1/3 off road and the rest on road, that forms my basic activity level on top of which other activity 'sits'. That's made more of a difference than trying to 'workout' as such, haven't lost a huge amount of weight, but feeling like a much more active person generally.

    Anyway, my point is to try and add something to your day's routine that brings your activity level up without it being a workout, add the workout, when you do them on top, worse case scenario is that you are actually active daily.
  6. WhiteShark is offline
    WhiteShark's Avatar

    1% Shark is better than you.

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Atlanta GA
    Posts
    9,179

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:26pm

    supporting memberforum leaderstaff
     Style: BJJ/Shidokan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Try to stop drinking beer for a week.
    Then drink beer for a weekend and try two weeks.
    You may be shocked to discover how many extra calories you are drinking.
  7. gregaquaman is offline
    gregaquaman's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Feb 2010
    Location
    Arlie Beach
    Posts
    2,488

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:30pm


     Style: mma /boxing/muai thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I am a recovering fatty too.
    I just found an activity I enjoyed and did that.
    I know it is not exactly the most technical workout but I do it and that is the most important thing. And that motivates me to do more activity and drink less and eat less ****.
    Suprise the weight is coming off.

    My advice try something new that you can be passionate about.
  8. Mr. Machette is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,673

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:39pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FMA, Ego Warrior

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SFGOON View Post
    That fuckin' sucks. I'm going through almost the same thing, right now, and have been working my way out of it for about a month now. Here's what works;

    1.) Interval training. Hit a track and run some farlicks. 100M sprints followed by leisurely 100M walkings. This will build your endurance and get those sweet mitochondria working overtime with their dividing, thus enhancing your aerobic capacity. This will work whether you're a fatass or not.

    2.) If you have access to either kettlebells or sandbags, swings are a fantastic means of very quickly exhausting your entire body. This will have the same effect as above, while enhancing your upper body strength - particularly your forearms and back.

    3.) After you exhaust yourself and you're sore all over, just walk for 1/2 hour at a time at a moderate pace. This burns a lot of fat (fat metabolizes slowly so activities like walking actually burn more fat calories than sprints or jogging, which burn ATP and glucose, respectively.) Do this every day you don't interval train.

    4.) Get a good stretching routine in. This will un-do a lot of damage your recent lifestyle has caused you. Because you're sitting all day, you'll want to stretch your hip flexors and abs first and foremost. If you want specific stretches, just ask and I'll find you some good examples.

    5.) Start working on your eating habits. For me, starting the day with a bowl of oatmeal and scrambled eggs saves me from getting hungry at 2:00 and wolfing down candy out of desperation. Try to find the healthiest foods you like to eat, and make a ritual out of eating them.

    6.) If you must take weight-loss supplements, please refrain from doing so until your weight loss plateaus. Do take a multi-vitamin, and as you progress add pyruvate of some sort, and if need be some kind of appetite suppressant. Save "thermogenics" (stimulants such as ephedrine,) for the last ten pounds.
    Thanks man!

    Can you suggest a good ab stretch? I got my extremities covered, but not the core in that department.

    I'm definitely going to try those swings and the cool down walk.

    No worries on the supplements. I can't afford that stuff, so I have to go "old school" anyways.
  9. Mr. Machette is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,673

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:41pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FMA, Ego Warrior

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    I was in a similar boat, though due to my disability and chronic fatigue, about nine months ago. The only advice I can add, with even an ounce of authority, to what SFGOON said is this: taking Creatine and Glutamine supplements might just make everything SFGOON said more realistic for you.

    I am obviously not a good exemplar, but I will testify ad infinitum that Creatine Ethyl Ester was a one dose cure for my chronic fatigue when I first tried it nine months ago. I have taken Glutamine for only one week at this point, but I can attest that it seems to finish what Creatine started. I am more alert, more rested after sleep, less sore, and more flexible. That last comment merits elaboration. I have cerebral palsy, specifically spastic diplegia, and I've spent the last two months gradually lowering the dosage of my daily muscle relaxer. I now take less than a quarter of the dose I took for 10 years, and I can honestly say that the Glutamine makes me feel like I'm on a higher dosage than I really am.
    Creatine and glutamine huh? I'll look into that. I know some people who works at a vitamin and supplement factory, so I might be able to get my hands on some cheap. Otherwise, suplements are kind of out of my price range at the moment.
  10. Mr. Machette is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,673

    Posted On:
    6/03/2010 2:46pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FMA, Ego Warrior

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Aodhan View Post
    1. Don't do that. Even with decent warmup, just running fartleks/wind sprints is a good way to pull a hamstring if you're not in shape. And running sprints will train you to run sprints. Won't do a thing for endurance.

    3. How is a fat calorie different from any other calorie (In the body as opposed to in food)? And ALL exercise uses ATP and glucose. It's the length and intensity that determines where it gets replenished from.

    4. How does stretching help eliminate fat/alchol? I agree on a good stretching routine, I'm just interested in your reasoning.

    To the OP:

    1. Put down the alcohol. It's ok (And even beneficial) to have a glass of wine, a beer in moderation, but pounding it down all the time will make you fat and destroy your liver.

    2. Walk. Walk/jog. Swim. Bike. Any kind of aerobic activity that you enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, you won't keep doing it. You want 20+ minutes of sustained HR at 60% or more of maximum, preferably 3+ times/week. (Here's a link with a ton of different formulas. The only way to calculate your own MHR is a functional test, but you can approximate with these: http://www.brianmac.co.uk/maxhr.htm ) Don't be discouraged if walking around the block puts you in the 80% zone to start, it's going to take a while to get back into shape.

    3. Start shifting your diet. I did the same thing when I started as a programmer, soda and donuts all the time. I went from 180 to 205. Don't 100% shift everything all at once, you'll soon fall off the wagon. Change a couple things every week. I go by the 80% rule, as long as 80% of what I consume is fairly healthy, I'm doing ok.

    4. Monitor your weight at the same time every day, and use week points as a benchmark. I weigh myself after I shower in the morning, and Monday morning is my checkpoint. You'll drop weight quickly in the beginning, slower later.

    If you have specific questions, reply or drop a PM.

    John
    Thanks man!

    I'm already watching what I eat. Just avoiding processed foods, and refined sugars. It's not so hard, but my fitness level is pretty much counter acting any noticeable benefits. I can't imagine how bad off I'd bee if I ate junk food like crazy.

    I'm planning on sticking with the swimming, as it's fun and I feel like it's much easier on my joints than exercising out of water. That's a big issue right now as I'm overweight enough to really feel it killing me knees if I do anything strenuous. I think that was the big wake up call right there. Getting big enough that it was starting to impair me.
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