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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    676
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Uncle Ugly got tricked into systema

    fair warning. This thread might not be worth reading. The Op displays bad grammar and unfunny retardation.

    A friend of me had birthday yesterday. So I called him and asked what he was up too and he said that he was gonna celebrate at this big festival so I brush my teeth put on some pants and I head out. I call and ask where they are sitting as I approach the festival. He tells me that plans have changed because he meet this crazy sambo trainer and he asked if I wanted to try sambo since he knows I am into judo and bjj. I thought it was abit strange that he wanted to train on his birthday.

    I arrive at the place and now some red flags are revealing themself. first of all we are training in the woods. the instructor is fat and looks slightly retarded. we are like 7 boys and 2 girls and only 2 of the boys are physical fit. I am pared up with this big fit russian guy. the girls are swirling around with a video camera and I realize that I am going to be video taped while I am doing retarded stuff. I realize that this was not just a training event. It was also a social event and good behavior was essential.

    The training commenced. they showed me some strange body diagram with pressure points and all that crap. I tried not to show my true meanings but It was hard. They really said alot of weird stuff.

    later we were doing some defense against punches. I were supposed to do this weird systema neck crank but reflexes made me take his back for a back drop. Ofc I didn't throw him. The big russian guy was so tall that I had problem grabbing his neck anyway. anyways I tells me that I should not do that because he can put me in a headlock and that would be the end of me. I say: " sorry it is just reflexes" He says: Look!
    Next thing he graps my head hard and put me in a headlock and drops his weight on my head. this was on a hard mountain hill surface so I kind of rolled naturally into full month.. I just stepped over with my foot.
    Now he is trying to Rnc me from month. I was on top. He was alot stronger than me. I decide right there that I will not hit or try to submit him or anything like that. he is trying to choke me but his arm is over my chin and not my neck. I just puch on his elbow and pull me head out and stand up and help him up. just like that.

    The instructor was watching this and I can tell that he didn't like it. He showed us some knife defense right after and he wanted to demonstrate on me.. I played along and trapped me in one of those systema arm locks and he twisted it as hard as he could. I said O.k. it hurts but he continued.. so I extended my arm to avoid injury and he let go. really bizarre scene.

    The next thing on the schedule was defense against baseball bat. I really enjoyed this part. we were shown some techniques and handed a rubber bat. I said to the russian: "O.K. I am gonna try to hit you now. do whatever you want. " just imagine how much fun you can have with that :D we played this part quite realistic btw.. I really swing at him.. the weapon was made of rubber anyway. It was really strange because he really got the hang of it fast when I actually tried to hit him. might have something to do with how strong he was.

    Yeah that's it. I realize that this thread is stupid and that I am wasting everybody's time. I was told sambo but apparently systema is now sambo?? whatever. I don't like that there is video evidence of me being retarded. [videos you people will never see ;) ] but I can't do anything about that. a Atleast me and the birthday boy got piss drunk afterwards. that part was a you success atleast.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    40
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Some video will be interesting. The damage is already done and why not bullshido members see it first?

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    676
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    a mistake is not really a mistake unless you repeat it.. or somebody plays it over and over again while they LOL hard. I am sorry sir. No videos for you.

    Edit: Jesus Maria what a wall of text that is. I obviously have issues.. better fix it with alcohol and gaffa tape
    Last edited by Uglybugly; 8/08/2010 10:27am at .

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    24
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yeah, videocamera...that would have been the moment I decided to leave. :)

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    1,945
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Question #1: Did you get Ryabko's autograph?

    Question #2: Does he really wear flip-flops all the time?

  6. #6
    maofas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Raleigh, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,971
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'm on video somewhere as a member of the audience being called out to help a "Tai Chi" instructor, who looked like Flava Flav, demonstrating his chi power. He did a bunch of Aikido demo tricks (i.e. unbendable arm), except that they weren't working and I was totally bending his arm/lifting him/whatever I wasn't supposed to do, at which point he'd shove me and then turn to the crowd and go, "SEE?! SEE?!"

    Man, I wish I got to lay into him with a nerf bat, you're lucky IMO.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    463
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Systema doesn't work? Aww man......

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    605
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    were you still a little drunk when you made the OP? Oh, and sorry if this is a noob question, but what is month? You use it like an acronym for a bjj position.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    302
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I thought he meant mount. This might be an even noobier question, but how could you RNC someone from the bottom of mount (If that's what you meant.)

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    605
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by RealManOfSteel View Post
    I thought he meant mount. This might be an even noobier question, but how could you RNC someone from the bottom of mount (If that's what you meant.)
    I thought that's what he meant too, but I assumed not because you can't rnc from bottom of mount.

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