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  1. #1

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    Noob Post -- The But Can you kick my --- chronicles...

    Good Morning,

    I'm a big intimidating looking dude who has average junk and can't fight. So after 40 years of bluffing I thought it would be an actual good time to get in shape and actually learn how to fight...or atleast learn how to get tapped out by a guy half my age and size in a controlled setting.

    I am a master of STFU-Fu...walk away foo...and...dude really? how about we just stop the chest pounding till the bouncer comes bs and have a drink-fu...I am not thinking I am going to become Neo or anything.

    I have been trying to find a good place to train that is not a McDojo...god knows there are plenty in Riverside, California. My God...seriously, they have MA training for 3 year olds. I do desire to train with my son when he is older and it would be some good bonding that doesn't involve the traditional basketball, baseball and football.

    I have a ton of options out here and in the OC where I work. I found this site by listening to a Joe Rogan interview about the McDojo's out there and was like wow...people really are getting ripped off. I think back to my jr. high days when my friend who was a black belt got beat up by a fat girl...and I lost all respect for the Martial Arts.

    I love BJJ (ok...sorry..that acronym sounds like code to a hooker) but realize it might be important to have a standing art. I am tempted to go to straight up MMA because they tend to train all styles and you might actually be able to fight at some point.

    So...the can you kick my a## chronicles may just be me going in and asking one of the students...can you kick my a##? I mean there is so much information out here and so many variables. Just as an example, I was reading up on my unitedbjj.com in riverside and searched Rommel here and found a thread on him that he sounded ok but then some of the other people mentioned were thrashed and then some other guy said the guy was very good. So, I'm going to just go in and have a long conversation at the CMA school near my job the UBJJ in moreno valley and there is a krav maga spot down the street from there. I am planning to pay on a class by class basis if allowed.

    Wow..this is turning into a wall of text. Anyway...I should also mention I'm a fat dude so, I'm trying to lose weight but more importantly exercise and actually move. I sit behind a desk all day telling guys what to do and eating crap the girls bring in all day.

    Anyway...they talk sh#t here and I love to do that....probably why I want to learn how to defend...err...fight...err....learn about the art....err...get the hell away from my wife for a few....err....whatever....

  2. #2
    jnp's Avatar
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    Welcome to Bullshido.

    Consider Judo as well. It's an effective art that encompasses throwing and groundwork. It covers 2 out of the 3 unarmed ranges in martial arts, those being striking from standing, the clinch and the ground. Judo includes the last two.

    Also go check out United BJJ for yourself. You never know if the people complaining about it weren't total wusses who were afraid to get sweaty on the mat. Just be aware that most BJJ places only cover the ground aspect of all three unarmed ranges.

  3. #3

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    glad this is noobtown because im allowed to post stupid things, so here i go;

    do you worry that learning how to fight effectivley will weaken your STFU-fu and walk away-fu skills? i realise that as you say you won't become neo, however i find that for me, whenever I get agressive (while playing sports, or at a nightclub) and a fight almost starts, i tend to discontinue being a dick because id probably get my ass kicked due to my lack of fighting experience. if i remove that lack of experience and develop fighting confidence, perhaps i will be worse off? your thoughts?

  4. #4
    Vorpal's Avatar
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    If you can find Judo, BJJ, MMA, Boxing, Muay Thai, Sambo or kickboxing that is close to you and has hours that meet your schedule then any of them will suffice, really. The important thing to do is to make the transition from being the 'I'm really going to start training" dude to the "Yeah, I finally got off my ass and I'm training at..." dude. Step two is not quiting. Good luck, there are a lot of us over forty on the board, welcome.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmize View Post
    glad this is noobtown because im allowed to post stupid things, so here i go;

    do you worry that learning how to fight effectivley will weaken your STFU-fu and walk away-fu skills? i realise that as you say you won't become neo, however i find that for me, whenever I get agressive (while playing sports, or at a nightclub) and a fight almost starts, i tend to discontinue being a dick because id probably get my ass kicked due to my lack of fighting experience. if i remove that lack of experience and develop fighting confidence, perhaps i will be worse off? your thoughts?
    this is a real possibility....but I might be able to convince them that I can kill with a word or that I am a boxer and my fists are registered lethal weapons....but I just gained..well..about 100lbs. I may have to take up the psychic arts to deal with my even more massive ego after training.

    But in all seriousness I don't care enough about a dude in the bar to engage him...I really don't have an ego in those things. I stop being a dick as well but not because of getting my butt kicked....I don't wanna get shot. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and learned to shut up real quick. Of course I would protect myself...but I would do that now. I would obviously protect my family..but that's what guns, the police and other weapons are for. When I learn to actually fight...short of messing around with my friends drunk after a rocky movie...probably will not do a whole lot.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vorpal View Post
    If you can find Judo, BJJ, MMA, Boxing, Muay Thai, Sambo or kickboxing that is close to you and has hours that meet your schedule then any of them will suffice, really. The important thing to do is to make the transition from being the 'I'm really going to start training" dude to the "Yeah, I finally got off my ass and I'm training at..." dude. Step two is not quiting. Good luck, there are a lot of us over forty on the board, welcome.
    thanks...great advice about the finally get off my ass and I'm training at and not quitting. My friend who does BJJ said the similar thing. He told me I'm stalling and I should have a plan to visit 3 schools this week...pick one and start taking classes the following week. I'm actually going to do that. There is a BJJ and a Krav Maga almost literally right next to it...so I will stop by both and then there's an Combat Submission Wrestling (CSW) across the street from my job.

    Time to get to work...I really appreciate this website...I get to learn stuff and I literally have not stopped laughing.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmize View Post
    glad this is noobtown because im allowed to post stupid things, so here i go;

    do you worry that learning how to fight effectivley will weaken your STFU-fu and walk away-fu skills? i realise that as you say you won't become neo, however i find that for me, whenever I get agressive (while playing sports, or at a nightclub) and a fight almost starts, i tend to discontinue being a dick because id probably get my ass kicked due to my lack of fighting experience. if i remove that lack of experience and develop fighting confidence, perhaps i will be worse off? your thoughts?
    I personaly dont think you will become more agressive. The way i see it is if anything you will become more humble. When ur doing brazilian jiu jitsu, wrestling, a boxing art or anything along those lines, u get caught in an armbar, rocked or dominated in a sparring match ect, but say to yourself damn i should have done this, should have dont that and so on, and then you keep moving on to roll/spar with the next guy. If anything, winning and losing/being tapped is a humbaling experience, that to me, would make u realise no matter how tough you think you are, theres always someone tougher. So you wouldnt realy become more agressive looking for fights, but if the stfu doesnt work, u will have some skills to help yourself (unless theirs are better :p)

  8. #8

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    i definately see your point. ive gone 21 years without a fight, and being in a fight does not appeal to me, i would however feel more comfortable knowing that i can defend myself (ie with judo) and take a punch (boxing or karate(21 years, never been punched, ever, i actually just wanna see if i can take it)).
    bullshido does not seem to like the philisophical side of things (not being rude, i just seem to see a lot more focus on aliveness), but i think that it would also help in calming me down.
    finally the main reason i want to do it is for fitness and strength, like OP, i dont think there is a better "sport" for it!

  9. #9

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    ok...went to Combat Submission Wrestling Submission training....really like it and that the guy was a no b.s. type cat...broke away from his pro class to talk to me. Erik was great and suggested kickboxing for me at my size 5'10" 315lbs...but I still look sexy baby!! Costs about $150 a month for unlimited classes...only problem is the boxing classes are on the nights of the week I have bible study...no...seriously. Ok..so I am going to try to hit a Royce Gracie spot in Moreno Valley today and United Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I may take a free class at all of them...before I decide...but was really glad that the first place I went wasn't about no BS..dude's didn't have a bunch of expensive stuff...just t-shirt a cup and mouth piece....

  10. #10

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    Ok...went to a Royce Gracie sanctioned school (Marcinelli Martial Arts Academy)...a very nice woman who was a blue belt there told me about the philosophy and all of that. I was all good...all caught up that Royce Gracie himself came out to do the belt classes and taught a day of classes every couple of months and that Rob Kaman (9 time kick boxing champion) taught the chinese boxing class a couple of times a month.

    Then I shook it off and looked at my list. Ok...so for the JJ class....do you spar. For the beginners? no. Uh..you mean the kids...no the kids don't spar ever....and the adult beginners do not...the advanced classes do SOME sparring. McDojo detector went off big time. I really liked this school and they had a 10 day special with a free gi and all that....but I mean...you have to master 21 techniques and I guess you get some stripes and then you can go to the advanced class. I watched the kids class and they are really great with them...but....I think I'm going to have to go elsewhere.

    They were very nice and answered all of my questions and the times fit my schedule...lots of reading material on how good Sam Marcellini is...but I need a place with high aliveness....united brazilian jiu jitsu today...

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